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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

when/where is it OK for children to go nude?

115 replies

hovely · 11/06/2004 22:40

I feel out of touch with general opinion on this one. Aside from hygiene & sun protection issues, is it OK or not OK for a small child to be nude/bottomless - on the beach? in the park? in the paddling pool at the park? on a campsite? in somebody else's garden? in your own garden if it's overlooked?
If it's OK up to a certain age, then what age?
Is it different for boys/girls?

OP posts:
Blu · 15/06/2004 13:50

I've never seen anyone on a nudey beach with an erection - so presumably anyone who finds children without clothes arousing (shudder) stays well away!

JustMum · 15/06/2004 13:57

Hmmmmm.....which suggests that they go elsewhere for their 'thrills'.

I'm always worried about people using these new digital cameras or phone cameras. They can be easily hidden or used covertly. I remember I read about a guy arrested for taking snaps in the changing area of a swimming pool.

I also (and I could be completely wrong) read ages go something about the south coast resorts having the highest population of paedophiles in the UK. It's worrying.

iota · 15/06/2004 14:01

My 2 boys aged 5 and 2 are often naked in the garden in the summer - they love to play in the paddling pool and sprinkler.
They also run around naked a lot after their bath in the evening.
I think it's a good thing that they are comfortble with their bodies, but I did get a little concerned when ds1 started naked trampolining in the back garden the other day

Blu · 15/06/2004 14:05

I used to go to the gym in our local recreation centre. One day a man fell through the false ceiling into the changing room- he had removed the panels in the 'family changing room' and climbed up and crawled alongside the ducting to spy on women in the womens changing room! 9he broke his ankle and had to endure a bunch of jeering women)
I can't decide whether voyeuristic perverts are too common to worry about or too rare!

JustMum · 15/06/2004 14:05

For a moment there I had an image of my chubby DH trampolining naked....I nearly lost my lunch

At 5 and 2 I'd be surprised if they were at all shy. That usually comes a bit later I think.

iota · 15/06/2004 14:08

Justmum - my 2 yr old is a complete exhibitionist - he loves taking his clothes off anywhere, but the 5 yr old is getting more aware of privacy - I think going to school has influenced that.

JustMum · 15/06/2004 14:11

My DD is 10 now, she's not shy at home (even in front of daddy), but she's quite conscious when changing at the beach, etc.

Mind you, she's less shy if it's women only, like at the swimming pool. But you're right going to school seems to be an influence.

smellymelly · 15/06/2004 14:50

There is nothing wrong with nudity in your own home, but I would be extremely careful when at the beach, campsite etc. There are apparently on average 7 paedophiles on every beach, and those are just the ones we know about. I'm have to admit I have very strong feelings about at least having a nappy on, or covering up with a swimming costume, not a bikini or shorts not little speedos etc.

There is no reason to let the perverts get their thrills!

Last year my friend and I were at the beach with our 2 kids each, it was late in the day so emptying out, and there was a very suspicious young man, taking photos of kids on the beach, there was a nude girl of about 5 running about and to be honest it made me feel so sick, but what could we do??? I just know I would never put my kids in that situation..

handlemecarefully · 15/06/2004 22:28

smelly melly - I couldn't agree more

JustMum · 16/06/2004 09:56

Maybe it's just this country, but on the continent parents seem to be far less concerned about this issue, at least judging by their attitude to nakedness. In Germany apparently it's not uncommon to have communal changing areas in pools, etc., which would be almost out of the question here.

My DH used to bring my DD into the men's changing area until she was around 8, a lot of dads seemed to do the same. It's such a shame that something so normal is being ruined by concerns about weirdos.

secur · 16/06/2004 10:12

Message withdrawn

JustMum · 16/06/2004 12:22

I don't think anyone is suggesting that it's necessary, it's just a choice that is being compromised by concerns about the behaviour of some people.

Judging by the original question and the number of respondants, it does seem to be a real issue for some people at least.

secur · 16/06/2004 12:37

Message withdrawn

secur · 16/06/2004 12:39

Message withdrawn

Caribbeanqueen · 16/06/2004 13:39

I was once away with some friends who had a 2 yr old ds. Most of the holiday-makers were American. The 2yr old was getting changed after swimming in the pool and ran off when he was naked. An American man complained to his mother that he should not be running around naked as it would traumatise and upset his 3 yr old daughter...

secur · 16/06/2004 13:42

Message withdrawn

JustMum · 16/06/2004 13:45

In France or Germany we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Americans can be surprisingly prudish.

secur · 16/06/2004 13:48

Message withdrawn

JustMum · 16/06/2004 13:59

Your choice is your choice, it's just interesting to see the range of tolerances that apply across different people and culture.

I often see mums bringing their little boys (some not so little) into the pool changing rooms with them. No-one seems to object to that, but I don't know if that's an indication of attitudes or just addressing practical needs. I'm sure dads feel the same when they bring their daughters in with them too.

secur · 16/06/2004 14:04

Message withdrawn

JustMum · 16/06/2004 14:08

It seems that unwanted onlookers seems to be the biggest concern. Ironically, it's the kids themselves that seem to be the least bothered about the subject.

Poor men, they're getting such bad press! It's probably very unfair to assume the worst when most are probably very caring daddies.

FairyMum · 16/06/2004 22:06

I think it's fine for children to be naked as long as they want to themselves. IME you don't have toteach children modesty. As they grow older, they naturally want to cover up. I find it strange when I see 2 year-old girls in bikinis on the beach, and also wonder what's more interesting to a pervert. A naked toddler or a 4 year-old in a thong (spotted in Margate last weekend!!).

JustMum · 17/06/2004 09:33

Oh please tell me you're kidding. That's just horrible. I didn't even know you could buy such clothes for kids of that age.

Blu · 17/06/2004 09:46

Secur, my Ds frequently ends up naked because toddlers find it so uncomfortable to be in damp clothing. he will start off in shorts or trunks, then get in and out of the pool, and each time drags his trunks off, then it's too uncomfortable to put them back on - no-one likes putting on an already damp cossie, do they? And since i can see no reason why he shouldn't run round naked, it seems the best option! He gats an understanding of manners because of the way we choose 'party' clohtes for parties, smart clothes or play clothes. He will often end up wearing a T shirt for sun protection, and nothing else. That's how it happens in our family!

Blu · 17/06/2004 09:47

I don't like bikinis on small children. Think it's far worse than ordinary nakedness because a bikini top has references to the adult body.