Discipline??

[daisychainn]

Hi all!
Just a quick question.. my dd will be 8 months in a few days time and I'm just wondering how others go about disciplining your children of this age, should you do it at all? I know a child of 8 months can't really do anything 'naughty' they're just being babies but it's crossed my mind recently as dd is starting to be more mobile she's constantly touching the kitchen bin, I've done all I can to keep it out of her reach and keep her out of the kitchen but sometimes it's inevitable, i tell her 'no' but she thinks it's a game, my dp says we should start being stern with her now so she'll understand and when he says 'no' he says it in a much more stern voice and she just looks confused to me? But I know she understands she's not supposed to touch it as she looks at me and waits for me to say no so I'm abit confused as to what they actually understand at this age? That's just one example anyway. I know touching something she shouldn't at this age doesn't need real discipline as they're just exploring but what age would you consider using a naughty step ect? For bigger incidents I mean not just touching a bin, I'm worried if we don't nip it in the bud or teach her that she must stop touching things if we tell her to she'll touch something that could be dangerous because she thinks it's a game. I'm not completely stupid I've got those rubber corner things and plug socket protectors, things to stop the door slamming ect and I watch her like a hawk I'm just looking for other people's opinions really and how I can make her understand more, if I can that is..

That was longer than I expected if anyone is still reading, thank you this is my first bubba and still learning, and curios as to what they can actually understand right now, I'm fascinated by her

I think you are reading something from the post that's not there. I've been on countless parenting forums for the past 12 years. 8 months is a bit of a milestone where babies become more mobile and develop their independence and this issue has often been discussed. This is the very first time I've seen someone getting a flaming over it.

OP did not say she was going to attempt the naughty step with her baby at this stage but I did see her ask the question regarding when would that be appropriate. I read this as her thinking ahead, as you do when it's your first because, as OP says, you are very keen on getting things right.

Yes, I see your point that it is 'only a bin' etc, etc but I see nothing wrong with trying to prevent a young child from touching it. It's about teaching them boundaries - i.e. what we are allowed to touch and what we are not allowed to touch, what's a toy, what's not a toy. In other words, what's appropriate in the simplest terms. If we catch them early when they are very tiny and more amenable - rather than the terrible 2s - it's sometimes easier. Of course, there is no guarantee that you will be successful and that's OK too and you just learn to go with the flow a bit in that case but there's no harm in trying. While I realise that some people are more relaxed about these things, it's not everyone's cup of tea and very much depends on how you are as a person, what you do and don't wish to live with. Another example would be sleep training - some are OK with running with the sleepless nights and co-sleeping, rocking, feeding to sleep etc, others are not and go down the sleep training route. Neither way is wrong. We are all parents just trying to find our way and it's a question of respecting differences. OP is not thinking of knocking seven bells out of her baby - she just wants a few pointers to stop a baby who is into everything. My first was like that and I remember asking a similar question many years ago. I got some useful tips, too, and, to an extent, lived with it until it passed.

Thank you so much for understanding!
And to the previous comment- where did I say I was using the naughty step with an 8 month old? That's ridiculous, I've already stated that she doesn't know what the word 'no' means so I'm not going to put her on a step and expect her to stay there am I? I've already said I was asking for future situations I'm talking 2/3 years old blimey! My daughter isn't having any 'discipline' at the moment which is why I asked the question in the first place because I wanted to know when this should be introduced! I don't think I suggested anywhere in my post that our lives were 'miserable' infact I love my life! I'm a first time mum enjoying my little girl but I just want tips on how to not get it wrong. I think this has been blown way out of proportion, I'm a first time parent asking a question and no where in my post did I say I wanted to discipline my child do you not think I'd be over the moon if I never had to? But I will have to at some point and I'm not sure what age they start needing it so I asked, is there any crime in that? All this post has done is made me doubt my parenting even though I've done none of the things you're accusing me of!

To the person who wrote the last comment- thank you so much again, I rarely come on forums like this and certainly didn't expect to be slandered for asking a pretty reasonable question, maybe I worded it wrong? You've given me some confidence in the fact I didn't write anything outrageous like some people would like to make out, thank you for your answer I totally agree about different people equals different parenting techniques but I certainly wasn't insinuating I will be disciplining my 8 months old I think I'll stick to asking close friends now on as any of them will know It's not in my nature to want to discipline a child, is it in anyone's??? Thank you again!

What I want to know is what recycling has to do with how you discipline your child??

Don't worry op most of us knew what you meant and took the time to actually READ your post.

Thank you feel like some people just like picking arguments out of mid air

Op - i'm a ftm to a 15 month old DD and since about 8 months, I've employed the tactics of "no", "dont touch that please", "come away from that please", removing/distracting her from it. Then saying "good girl" as i move her. With small explanations as i go. So bin = dirty/smelly, radiator = hot/burny etc.

Its starting to work, she has a moment of thinking about it, but then does come away from whatever shes trying to destroy 😂.

I've watched my nephews grow up with the whole parent attitude of "never say no to them" so very few boundaries in place. They're parents have a had a hell of a time as they were told by nursery that they need to put boundaries/discipline there was an education/learning needs assessment done, that suggested nowt wrong just needed more boundaries . Imagine the tantrums now!

I dont think either of you need to be stern as such. Just consistent and calm. Dont make a huge fuss.

carefully avoids mentioning the rest of the thread

Thank you it's a tough age really when it comes to knowing exactly what they understand, I've been saying 'no' and distracting just wanted some reassurance I was doing it right really, my dd is the same as yours, she'll look at things with a huge grin on her face and then look at me as if she's thinking 'do I risk it?' she's slowly leaning but I'm not expecting miracles haha
I really want dd to know her right from her wrongs at as early age as possible as I can't see anything wrong in teaching her early! I had very few boundaries as a child and (although I loved it as a child) realised later in life it did me no favours, in such so determined to get this side of things right for dd, thank you for your advice

Honestly pick your battles. You will have bigger fish to fry as she gets older so dave your stern words for then.

Just keep moving her if you don't want her to touch the bin (although if it gets disinfected every day it's probably cleaner than the floor!)

Don't discipline an eight month old. Just don't. They have been on the earth right short months and your trying to ram rules and stuff in to her already.

Move her from harms way and distract.

My youngest (3) rarely needs to be told off and I was quiet relaxed with her.

Enjoy her don't expect her to be anything other than an eight month old baby!

I love the ahaparenting.com website's approach to setting limits - there are sections for different ages and it's an interesting read.

Thank you, when I say 'stern' I do just mean saying the word a little sharper but that was dp's idea anyway and he soon realised that didn't work either, I've always just said no and guided her to a another area of the room or distracted her with some toys, just wanted to make sure that's all I should be doing at this point, the last thing I want is for people to think I'm following my baby around shouting 'don't touch this, don't do that, bla bla bla' because I'm really not, infact my daughter is a very relaxed child, people are always commenting on that. My home is very child friendly anyway there's very little she's not allowed to touch, and I probably wouldn't disinfect the bin everyday if she wasn't so persistent on touching it, I never used to do it every day before she was born. I realise it's just one of those things I'm going to have to just distract her from and hopefully she'll eventually grow out of it, thanks for your advice