How to entertain a 3 month old

[freewheezy]

Hi all,

This is probably a really stupid question but I'm a first time mum and have no clue what I'm doing.

My dd has just turned 3 months and has suddenly become very fussy during the day. Before this she wasn't really interested in anything. I'd show her toys and talk to her but she just had this blank stare. The HV suggested she might even be deaf! (She isn't).

Now she seems to want to be entertained all the time and if I leave her for even a minute to get a drink she cries and often becomes inconsolable which I find quite hard to deal with.

I read to her and get her to hold soft toys but I think both of us get quite bored of this. I'm wondering if there are other activities I should be doing with her now that she is more responsive.

Hi OP, my baby is around the same age & we do the following if we have nothing planned for the day:
He generally sleeps for 8hrs, I feed & we chat for a bit, he goes back to sleep for a couple of hours in his sleeping bag (this is one of the few times he will sleep independently other than overnight so is the best opp to get things done, he'll wale up for another feed & will be alert for a little while so we chat/read/play music), naps again & then I dress him & we go downstairs. Downstairs we have a play gym & mat with various noisy toys & instruments on so we go between playing nursery rhymes & using puppets (to help him track objects & see that things come back), playing music & encouraging him to dance, reading or encouraging independent play in his bouncer (me being visible & asking if he's going to get the elephant/monkey/whatever). He also goes in his bouncer to come into the kitchen with me when I make food & wash up, bathroom for shower etc. I found that he struggled with a mid-late afternoon nap if we were downstairs (maybe too much stimulation?) so have started bringing him upstairs & lying with him on our bed. He's gradually getting better at napping alone rather than in my arms but it's a slow process.

If we're out I end up waking him during one of the morning naps to get ready dependent on when he fell asleep the night before & I try & nurse/rock him to sleep as soon as he starts to rub his eyes/yawn.

There's an article in the current Mother & Baby mag re sleep which really helped my confidence. A wrap/sling is good for getting out of the house quickly too - we bought the FreeRider one from Amazon as it was under £20, on Prime & has a lot of 5 star reviews & we love it.

Also to reaffirm what pp have said above, visit your local children's centre. We're currently doing a sensory course for a few weeks & it's helping me vary what we do to keep him entertained & I'm understanding how those things help him. We did some foot painting at the weekend that we wouldn't have dared try this early on but he really enjoyed it as we dipped his feet in paint & bounced him around on some paper.

If you want to do something for you, visit a baby film screening - you don't have to speak to anyone & everyone has a baby so expects some noise. Feed if baby is going to get grouchy soon & you might be surprised with how settled she is. Plus at the ones near us you get a free drink & cake which is always good :)

A sling can be pricey at £100 ish. But a soft structured one like manduca/ Tula/ boba 4g will really be benifical cost wise

I found mine super handy all the time 0-1 year when they weren't walking, but also still handy once they were older and walking. It's easier to take a sling in back or just empty on back and 2-3 year old walking and can just use sling when they are tired, than lugging around empty pram half the day. Arriving home at 11pm from flights, I could still fit mine in at 4 years on my back when they had fallen asleep but still needed to walk through to security etc which can be far when late

Does your local library do a rhyme time? Mine loved those sessions even when they were tiny babies, basically just bouncing on my knee watching other kids and listening to singing.

They are free, and perfect if you don't know anyone else as you all sit in a circle and don't actually need to talk to each other, although you can always hang around at the end if you want to! As an extra bonus you might make some mum-friends: I bumped into someone I hadn't seen since we were teenagers at one of these with a baby the same age as mine, and we met up loads after that. Ah those happy days of meeting in coffee shops whilst babies were young enough to stay still in one place!

I remember feeling just like this with my first. Second child was so much easier because they were amused by the first
I used to go for long walks with the pram. Fresh air and movement did wonders for napping (but exhausting for me to do so much walking - still I was v fit!). Definitely try a sling (go to a sling meet before you buy), but don't stress if it doesn't work for you. I never managed to get on with slings and I tried several brilliant ones.
Being around other babies and children will definitely give you a break so do try a few local baby groups. Some are great, others not so good, but hopefully you can find one you like. Please try not to worry about the loud crying because a) all babies do it and b) you may find your baby cries less when surrounded by lots of noise/other babies - they find the 'white noise' comforting.
Good luck! I can honestly say I struggled with my first and never really cracked it until my second - so easy to give advice with hindsight!

This week I've found that a helium balloon entertains my 5 month old twins better than all their toys

It was my DHs birthday and he got a balloon from work. It's on a weight and I put it between their bouncy chairs and they spend quite a while looking at it!

Cheerylilthing dp has said he's going to get some puppets today on his lunch break. I dread to think what he's going to bring back you sound like you have a great routine going. I think maybe she needs a rough routine for her day. I know it sounds silly but I'm still in a bit of a daze from the birth and subsequent complications. I'm only just starting to feel like myself again.

Msmarple I'll have to check my library but that sounds really fun!

Enidblyton1 nice to know someone felt the same! All you see is happy ladies with lovely babies and can't help but think you're doing something wrong!

Mermaid36 haha. I'd fill my house with balloons if it kept her quiet

You'll have to report back on what your DP finds. We have this set: www.spottygreenfrog.co.uk/Nursery-Rhymes-Traditional-Story-Set/p-161-1404-2241/ & I got a cheap nursery rhymes album from iTunes so I don't have to sing!

I'll be honest, we've only got into this routine in the last week & it's been led by him really, I just got better at seeing his sleep cues. You'll find something that works for you. I overloaded us with classes/things to do out of the house once my stitches were semi healed but last week ended up being made housebound with hemmorhoids & a tear (I was too embarassed to go anywhere!) & it fell into place then.

I've bought the Baby Play for Every Day book for ideas (so I don't get bored too) which you might find interesting as well. There's different activities to try per month based on expected development.

I will definitely post what he brings home

Today has actually been much better! Before I was scared to let her sleep too much during the day because I felt she wouldn't sleep as well at night. She still wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed but she usually goes straight back to sleep afterwards with very little settling. She is currently having her 3rd nap of the day. She seems much happier. When she starts fussing I feed her and encourage her to sleep.

Hopefully I don't pay the price for this tonight luckily dp is off tomorrow so he can settle her tonight if she needs it (verryyyy wishful thinking )

Definitely agree with getting in touch with the Children's centre or the NCT. I actually run a small group for the NCT, only around 8 to 12 families show up each week. First I say to everyone new is 'we're all here to welcome new people'. I don't have any 'clickiness' and if I saw a mum walking in with a crying baby, I'd sit them down, give them a cup of tea and talk to them about how they're feeling (and if they'd let me, I'd hold crying baby whilst they drunk their tea).

I know about the nervousness of attending groups, I've been there, but honestly, the people running them are normally volunteers and genuinely want to help parents in the area. Give them a chance.

As you've mentioned breastfeeding and slings, definitely google these groups and then your location. Our NCT run several sling meeting groups during the month and you can try new slings and hire them too. They're very popular and again, run entirely by volunteers.

(If you're midlands based, let me know and I'll locate your nearest branch)

I'm in the north west I definitely want to find a bfing group, I'll ask my HV.

I've yet to feed in public (very limiting) because I just can't figure out how to feed comfortably without a pillow. I need about 12 more hands I think. I'd love for someone to be able to just show me how! My mum bf me and my sisters but she can't remember how she just said she remembers not going out much!

Lamaze toys, a playmat and a bouncy chair are good. At that age I started taking her to baby sensory/yoga/massage. All fairly pointless in themselves but good for getting out of the house to a very friendly environment (baby changing, everyone with boobs out, etc).

Going to go to a bfing group tomorrow, there's one at the local hospital. It says on the website that partners are welcome but would I be unreasonable to bring him? I wouldn't want to make any other women feel uncomfortable, especially if they're having problems bfing. Such a vulnerable time.

I took my DP to our local BF clinic as my hold/latch was rubbish on an evening so I'd get really sore & it was important for him to see how to help/correct positioning. If the midwife foresees an issue when you arrive she should offer to see you in a side room (that's what happened with us). I hope that's reassuring :)

If your partner is available take him, as cheery said, educating a partner is as crucial as educating the mum on breastfeeding. They can help him help you. Other parents won't mind him being there, we used to see it all of the time at our BF group, the partners would be a bit embarrassed as there'd be boobs everywhere but they'd get over it after a cup of tea and 121 chat with the peer supporter or counsellor.

Proud of you for organising it freewheezy

Yes it is very reassuring! Thank you! I really hope it is helpful, so far I've had next to no advice from anyone I've asked and had to muddle my way through so she's getting the milk but I'm slowly turning into Quasimodo.

Aim to entertain yourself rather than the baby.

IN traditional cultures (ie. how we all lived as humans for millions of years!) babies were just carried along as part of normal life.

The idea of sitting at home 'entertaining' a 3 month old is completely alien to the way humans are actually meant to live. WOmen need to get on and see people/ chat/ get on with what you would like to do normally as much as you can.

Find singing baby groups at your library/ put the baby in the bouncer while you make your own lunch/ go for long waks and listen to music!

It can be so so lonely - think about yourself and your needs first and if you find a way to enjoy your day I promise baby will enjoy the day too.

Waterrat that's a really good point. I just feel like I'm letting her down if she's not happy all the time, not that she'll remember!

So here are the puppets. Not as bad as I thought they would be! Although she doesn't seem too interested at all!

Where in the north west are you? I'm in south Manchester and if you want to get out of the house I can suggest some local places. Pm me if you want? It can be daunting getting out and about especially with feeding. I know i felt exactly the same with my first. My 3rd is 3 months too and I know what you mean about how to entertain them...they don't want to be left for one second! Xx

IN traditional cultures (ie. how we all lived as humans for millions of years!) babies were just carried along as part of normal life.

The idea of sitting at home 'entertaining' a 3 month old is completely alien to the way humans are actually meant to live. WOmen need to get on and see people/ chat/ get on with what you would like to do normally as much as you can

^^ This, in a nut shell. Even shopping in Ikea is entertainment; they can look at lights, feel cushions that a furry, play with the toys (they sell puppets!) and if she gets grumpy, the cafe can supply you with a great space to grab a coffee (free refills) and just watch the world go by. Sometimes, being out is better than being in!

We put lots of little rubber ducks in the twins bath tonight. Nothing. Completely ignored!

Our friend's baby is this age & they've found her attention can be held by the baby TV channel now if they just need a minute or two distraction! Apparently she's sort of indifferent to it apart from a blue and pink bear that she gets really excited by.

I have the same with my 6 month old! She gets bored so easily.

I know she is a bit older (but it might give you ideas for future)

I have jumperoo type thing
Walker
Play mat
Door hangy jumper thing
Lots of noisy interactive toys
Teddies (put on silly voices and she loves it)
Books - she might not understand the story but always watches intently as I read to her.
Tv (peppa pig is a savour)
I also put music on and dance with her (in my arms -she loves it)
I have a ball pit with a few balls and scrunchy toys.
Musical instruments I get her to shake a tambourine along to music.
Mothercare 'tv' toy which she loves.

Even chucking a teddy up in the air makes her smile.

Lots of silly made up song singing

I take her out for a walk everyday so she can look around.

I took her to the pet shop and the birds made her laugh a lot !

Flowersonthewall I'm in south Manchester too. Stockport. I don't like going out because I'd just be mortified if she started crying really loudly and I couldn't settle her some suggestions would be great!

DrLockhart I will try and just carry on with life as normal (as possible) I can't believe how much better she's been today. She's had three quite long naps and in between them she's been so easy. I think she must have just been so tired. I think I was trying too hard to entertain her and she just wanted to sleep!

Mermaid36 haha. It's so annoying when you think something will be so fun and they just give you that blank stare. Congratulations on twins, two little darlings, how lucky

Rosymermaid I can't wait until she's old enough for those jumpers, not enough head control yet. So many toys, what a lucky baby. A ball pit! I'm jealous! Haha

There is definitely a sling library in Stockport, think cheadle? Also the swimming baths have baby splash sessions which will entertain her. Not sure about bf groups but if you search for the fourth trimester event on a particular social media page (not sure if I'm allowed to mention it on here! ) there are events for new mums...honestly no one would bat an eyelid if your baby started crying. Xxx