Those of you who were/are 'young mums'.. what are your experiences please?

[user1473934187]

So I'm here because I am 22 and have just found out that I am pregnant. It was totally unplanned due to the fact that I was not informed by my GP that my new medication would affect my contraceptive pill. I am lucky enough to be in a long term relationship with my partner who is 31. Together we earn a good income and are in the process of buying a house together. If I am to keep the baby, I would be 23 and a probably classed by others as a 'young mother'. For me the unknown is very daunting and the thought of entering in to parenthood so young and maybe missing out on the best years of my life is scary. I do not want to be left with regrets and I am risking having regrets either way in this situation whether I keep the baby or whether I do not. I wondered whether others could help me by sharing their experience of being young mothers please? The good, bad and the ugly, I want to hear it all! Thank you :)

I had my first at 19, second at 26 & more recently my 3rd at 30.

I didn't have a steady job at 19, I actually left work (in a shop) after I had him. Being pregnant with him made me realise what I wanted as a career so when he was 1 I went back to college/uni & did it! Having a baby shouldn't stop you. I did have family support though so was lucky & my DH worked but we still had no money.

Fast forward to having the 3 and although I was tired with my first, I feel absolutely done in since having my 3rd! I definitely had more energy at 19 (naturally!). I do feel I missed out on things in my 20s - girly holidays/nights out (although I still had a social life as he got older). But tbh he made me grow up & put a whole new perspective on things, so that those things (like nights out) seemed trivial in comparison to what I felt was important, I.e him, my career etc.

I wouldn't change a thing, but yes, being younger is easier in the sense that you have a bit more energy & are more resilient when dealing with the sleep deprivation! There are definitely pros and cons, but then there are pros and cons for having a baby at any age IMO.

I'm 24 and expecting DC2 to arrive any day now!
DC1 was unplanned, I had just graduated in childhood studies and had started a new job and DP had just started an apprenticeship in electrics.
We had a lot of support from family and friends. Somehow never felt like we were struggling with money although we're both earning more now. Love being young and having lots of energy to look after DD.
You will be fine!! And very happy I'm sure!

I had dd at 23. Downsides of this include that I chose the wrong partner to have children with and we split when she was nearly 3. Also, the first four years were HARD. A combo of it being hard anyway, some health issues, my workload and becoming a single parent. Just an awful time really. I hated it.

However, since she started school life is so much better and I enjoy being a parent so much more. She is so great. I love to see her learn and grow, such a joy as so much more interesting than the baby/toddler stage.

I won't have any more children so I like that when she is 18 I will be only 41 and hopefully at a good stage of my career by then meaning if she wants to go to uni I can support her (I never had that).

I clicked on this thread wondering if it was talking about people my age - I've never really thought of myself as being a 'young mum' but I've come to realise others do! Anyway I was 24 when I had mine (he's now 2 and we're trying for dc2). It was planned - I always thought I was just lucky that I met someone I want to have a family with while young and that we conceived so fast!
Anyway - downsides; yes I do get the odd pang when I see all my friends travelling and doing fun child free things but I will have plenty of my life left to do that when they are older. My parents were a similar age when they had us (guess that's partly why I don't feel I'm a young mum) - I made my mum a granny at 48
And they have plenty of energy and years left to enjoy life and travel, as well as their adult children and grandchildren - which I think is a really precious thing to have.
I love that I have started my family while I'm young and fit(ish!), I have plenty of energy for my DS, I'm not worried about my career as, all going to plan, I'll only be in my mid 30s when I have all school age kids and am ready to go back full time.
Also I'm sure I've read that from a purely physical /biological perspective, early 20s is the best time to have a child.

Good luck!