Nursery v childminder? Which did you pick and why?

[Summerdays2014]

Hi all,

I have found a nursery that I like and a childminder that I like. I really can not decide which will be best for when I return to work 3 a week when my son is a year old.

What did you decide? Why? And are you happy with your choice?

Thanks all.

Nursery. No worries if someone is sick/goes on holidays etc.

Also age appropriate companions all together.

My friend has a childminder who has 8 charges, but they are all different ages and her DS actually has no kid his own age there despite how busy it is.

Nursery for us.

Our reasons were:

1. Not having to find cover when the child-minder is on holiday, and not having to deal with a last-minute panic to find childcare / take the day off work each time the childminder is ill (frankly you'll have to take enough days off when your own kids are ill).
2. DD got to spend time with a group of children her own age which think helps develop her social skills a bit better.
3. I think they do more educational activities than a lot of childminders do (not all child-minders though, as many obviously are fantastic).
4. I think the more structured environment of nursery helps prepare kids for school a bit better than a child-minder does.

Childminder for the home environment and being part of a family, personal relationship, flexibility, home cooked food, not being stuck in a room but go to groups, library, museums, parks. Consistent ie no staff turnover, childminder likely a mum / dad unlike nursery where they seem to be younger and move on quickly.
BUT - it is a personal relationship so you have to get the feeling that you have found somebody you trust

Childminder. I've visited many nurseries in my job and have seen maybe one or two I'd consider putting my child in. Just because there are other people around doesn't mean the adults do a better job. I've walked in to many and watched the staff spring into action as they see me, whereas they were sitting around chatting to each other before. We picked an older child minder who didn't do a school run and it was lovely and homely.

Childminder. If you've found a good one. My DCs had a great relationship with their CM and the other children there. She was more flexible in her timings than Norsery. She was able to have them in the school holidays too when they were primary school age.

Nursery

The things that put me off a childminder are:

• lack of supervision: at a nursery, your child isn't left in the sole care of one person;
• not knowing who else might have access to your child e.g. the childminder's older children, family and friends;
• their sickness and holidays are your problem, the nursery is never sick;
• school run: I wanted my baby/toddler to be doing things rather than sat in a car seat;
• mixed ages: it's a bit PFB but I didn't want my baby around older children in case he was hurt by boisterous play. I like that nurseries separate.

Cue angry childminders saying that's all paranoid and bullshit but it is true

Nursery open 50 weeks a year 07:30-18:30 without fail.

Thank you all. Lots to think about. Going to see the childminder again so will see how that goes. There are pros and cons for both of them. I just want to make the right decision!

I visited a nursery and all the babies looked vacant - bored - no attention

They have so many kids that's there's no time for one to one

Childminder was flexible with day and even had DD overnight when I went into labor -

Couldn't fault her care

Interesting about the school run, FoodPorn. We chose a childminder who walked the school run rather than going by car (teaching excellent traffic skills on the way) and that, combined with playing in the playground whilst waiting for the older children, made for a very active and stimulating part of the day.

I'm shocked at some people's experiences of child minders on here. It sounds like nothing has changed since the 80s! My childminder has two dedicated play rooms, three assistants to cover sickness and holiday, no TV, a structure to each day which covers learning, singing, outdoor play, science, craft, "national days", trips out etc. She has about eight children at a time of various ages and didn't do school runs.

She's the first one we saw and I didn't bother with any others or looking at nurseries. I genuinely thought they were all like that!

Initially we used a childminder because someone we already knew and trusted was moving back into that field when I was pregnant with DD2. So when I went back to work after seven months she had our baby and toddler in the mornings 5 days a week.

However due to ill health she had to stop taking them last month which, happily, coincided with our toddler getting the grant money once she turned three which means we're not paying any more for them to be in nursery four days a week (family helps out the other day). DD2 is 17 months now and its probably the earliest I'd have wanted her in a nursery environment.

I do like the 'rigidness' of the nursery though. There are guidelines with regard to illness and times that we didn't have with our childminder. Also with the childminder we seemed to be at the mercy of my childrens health, her health and her sons health. If any of them weren't well I had to take a day off work. She also wouldn't take the well child if one was sick until they'd been checked by the doctor which was tricky. The benefits were the one to one care and flexibility but, just because of what I'm like, I prefer the structure of the nursery for them now.

I think when you are thinking about babies and young toddlers the issue of attachment to caregivers is particularly important, and therefore the consistency of caregivers is important.

Either a good nursery or childminder should be able to offer this but I think it is more easily guaranteed with a childminder. I have a friend who used a nursery who was handing her child over to a different member of staff every day because their keyworker's shift started later in the morning. Their keyworker changed multiple times within months due to staff turnover. This is far less than ideal for a baby.

I always had a slight preference for a childminder over nursery for this reason, though I was very open to the idea of a nursery as well.

Nursery for us, I felt DS would love the structure and really needed to gain some social skills.

Nursery because I didn't want to deal with childminder holidays at inconvenient times / potential illness etc. Same reason I don't think a nanny would work for us.

Childminders round here are about £5 a day cheaper than nursery but don't provide breakfast or lunch. Nursery provides breakfast, snack, cooked lunch and afternoon tea, much better value for money.

It's been good for both dc for different reasons, dd1 is very sociable so loved the busy-ness and dd2 would have clung to a childminder all day whereas nursery has toughened her up a bit and she's better at occupying herself for a few minutes.

Codyking that was very much my experience in several nurseries. Children like little zombies wandering up to adults and staring at them while he adults chatted or sat on the floor with a sleeping child on their lap, unable to move and interact much with the other children. We struck gold with our childminder and her family. Her husband and sons were all crb checked and interacted with the children if they were home. The children had a lovely home environment and bonded with her and her family for their pre school years.

Children like little zombies?!

But surely curious children will wander up to a new adult? When I go to collect DS some of the children bring me over a you to show me etc, what's wrong with that? DS does it to me at home? I don't neglect him all day!

And what happens at pre school? A class of 3 year olds and 1 teacher? And at school, 4 year olds, 1 teacher etc.

Do we honestly think that probably in any generation before this one, children had quite so much adult interaction (by which I mean, playing with an adult rather than being exposed to adult conversation)? I doubt it!

But anyway, I still prefer a nursery for all of the reasons previously outlined by me and others!

Nursery as then we wouldn't worry about holidays and sickness. In with her own age group and just really loved the nursery itself :) suits us and our working hours too

My son loves his childminder. He has been going since he was 1. They are out everyday park, playgroups, garden centre, soft play, farm, etc. Lots of activities going on. His interaction and social skills are great, he learns a lot from older children

Definitely cm! I like the flexibility and the personal bond. My cm will even send me pictures and videos of ds every few hours! ds simply loves our cm.

I picked nursery for DS, he's very sociable and almost 2....I liked the idea of him being in a little gang of toddlers. A CM might have one baby and a three year old etc. so not as many proper playmates as him.
Plus we're very attachment parenty/not very routiney with him so I thought he'd benefit from something more 'formal'.

Plus nursery was closest! 15 min toddler walk away.

Just thought...why not go on your local site and see if you can get any real life recommendations of your two choices.