Worried sick for 2 and a half hours. What would you do?

[SauerKraut]

I have 4 kids. Today we set out on a well-known walk through woods to a park- about an hour away. The kids know where to wait for us if they get ahead, when they're on scooters. Near the beginning of the walk, the middle 2, aged 8 and 9 disappeared- we thought they'd gone ahead as they had a scooter. At each possible waiting point there was no sign of them, so we reasonably concluded they had crossed all the roads and arrived at the park before us. That would have earned them a verbal roasting. They were not at the park so we looked for them all over the town, eventually hiring a car and going to see if, by any chance, they had gone home, before phoning the police. They were at home. Right at the beginning of the walk, they had deliberately hidden behing a tree until we had passed and calmly gone home. They have also been going out of their bedroom windows at night. Normally, they are very well - behaved, and nobody could believe them capable of this. What would you say? What would you do? We are still shaking, and lost for words.

Omg, you must have been so scared. Can you lock their bedroom windows to stop them getting out there again?
Mine aren't that old, so I'm not really qualified to advise.

Bloody hell!

Am not surprised you are shaking.

Have no advice, just wanted to sympathise.

Actually I admire independent adventurouys children - but to deliberately hide and go home is naughty, rather than, or as well as independent and adventurous...

Have to try somehow.I'm amazed to have to do
that at their age.

OMG Sauerkraut, I would have been paralysed by fear tbh (I once lost ds for about 5 minutes and went in to a blind panic).

The first thing I would do is to take the scooters away, put a lock on the bedroom windows and remove all other privileges for a set time. As to what to say, I don't know tbh as I don't have children that age (yet).

Poor you

That would be really frightening. I think I would sit them down and explain esactly why you were so worried / angry about what they did and what the potential consequences could be.
Then I would ground the little blighters for at least a month. And lock their bedroom, windows.

I would lock their windows for a start, and put an alarm on their bedroom door. Make it clear that this is because they have broken your trust, and you have to go back to treating them like stupid babies because that is how they have behaved. Put a stairgate on their bedroom if you really want to make a point.

Blimey SauerKraut, not surprised you are shaking. Bet either one wouldn't have done it on their own - they spur each other on... If it helps, my sister and I used to get out on the roof at a childminder's house. When my mother realised she read us the riot act and made it very clear we were NEVER to do anything like that again. And sacked the childminder, of course.

So can only suggest a Big Talk making it clear how scared you were and how dangerous what they did was. And that if they pull a stunt like that ever again you will call the police. (My mother would have said 'you won't be able to sit down for a week' too.)

Good plans. Some would smack - my parents would certainly have done so. I'd like to avoid that, but obviously serious retribution of some kind has to be administered.

I do have children roughly your children's ages (actually 10 and 9) and I can, sort of, imagine them hiding from me and going home, except that I think they would actually hide from me and then follow me and jump out on me when I had worked myself up into a state. For that, they would receive an almighty bollocking. I can't, however, imagine them climbing out of the bedroom windows at night. Good grief! What have they been doing when they got out? where do they go? how do they get back in? That horrifies me.

I agree with Mercy re what you should do.

You can't put a lock on the bedroom window because it is a huge fire hazard. I think I remember vague friends whose children did this and they persuaded a policeman to come and have a 'talk' with them, Needless to say that worked.

Apparently they walk round our estate with a couple of apples in their pockets, plus "running away" gear. Too much Famous Five , I'm sure.

OMG!!!!!

All our windows (bar one tiny one) have locks on them. I know it is a fire hazard - I worry about that periodically as the keys are always going missing - but you could always put a lock on and keep the key in your room.

I don't think Edam is advocating smacking them...

Actually I used to sneak out at night from a young age, with torch etc, and go off on own for hours in end from about 7 or 8 - buut we all did then.

I think you should do something like confiscate their scooters for a month, do the big talk, but explain that it is because they didn't stick to the agreed arrangement that you are so cross. Maybe get them a copy of one of the Mountain Rescue team Reports - they make fascinating reading - Patterdale and wasdale Mountain Rescue teams both publish one as a little booklet. Show them how even experienced climbers / mountaineers and walkers tell people where they will be and what time they will be abck. And if they are not, then the rescue team is called. i.e EQUIP them to be safely adventurous, and encourage them to behave like real grown-up adventurers: i.e say where you will be , and be there on time.

No no, I didn't think Edam was- it's just what we would have got. Nice idea, Blu.

Actually if you can arrange it a chat by a community policeman might be a good,sharp shock for them.

My husband likes that one, Hulababy!

my neighbours boys used to"escape" out of their bungalow window when they were 5 and 6 and be out exploring

I'm actually glad we live in a place where it's all right for them to do that- although not without us knowing- it's very very safe and children out and about on their own are to be seen everywhere, every day. We might not always live in a place like this, though.
It's a good idea to encourage them to do this kind of thing legitimately and sensibly, as Blu said. I thank ye all kindly and shall now go and make their tea. (But not pudding, ho no......)