What can you say to a parent who is feeling sad / bad that their child wasn't invited to a party?

[Twiglett]

how can you make it better

its patently just friendships and space and cost but have noticed that a very sensitive friend is getting increasingly concerned and uptight when her ds isn't invited

and it makes it worse when mine is

(not that mine is to all but it doesn't bother me if he isn't)

any words of wisdom?

I guess she is worried about her child making friends and fitting in. So I would try and find examples of that to reassure her?

I sort of had this, Twiglett, a while back
Ds1 wasn't invited to many parties and his best friend was invited to them all.
DS1 wasn't that bothered but I started to fret that he was really unpopular or something.
His best friend's mum was lovely about it.
Can't remember what she said exactly but it was something warm and comforting about my ds1 being so lucky to have such a tight circle of close friends, and being secure enough in himself not to be upset by the lack of invites.
She also very cleverly dropped in the odd moan about how expensive it was for her to keep buying birthday presents!
Funnily enough, two years on, it's ds1 who gets more invites than the best friend. Things change...

thanks .. still not sure what to say though .. I really don't think the child minds or even knows .. he's in a bit of a world of his own .. and he is going to a party this weekend and one next weekend .. its just he didn't go to 2 others in the last couple of weeks

she just feels so desperate about it

Hmmm, well maybe there's nothing you CAN do, other than remind her that there are hardly any parties that everyone gets invited to.
I'm sure she'll feel sensitive about it as time goes on - and it becomes obvious that it's not about her ds; it's just about space and money.
She just needs time to let her brain catch up with her heart (as we all do at times)