Those who bonded quicker with #2.....

[NinaNeener]

I know you're all going to tell me I'm being silly.......

I'm about to give birth to #2. I feel extremely bonded with her already, I can almost picture her and am constantly imagining her tiny squishy body in my arms. Feel very emotional about her.

I have a little lad, who I adore. Amazing child, was always easy and delightful.

BUT during my last pregnancy and the early months of his life I was going through very stressful and all consuming times with terminal family illness etc, and whilst I didn't get PND (miraculously) I didn't bond with him for a long time. I just didn't have space in my head or heart. I don't really blame myself, it was a gruelling time and I could only do so much. I was a good pleasant mother throughout, just totally disconnected. It was like I was babysitting a friend's baby. Or a puppy. All very cute, but that's all. He didn't mean much to me. And he was often downright inconvenient when I had very poorly adults to take care of 24/7.

I finally bonded with him after everything was over and I finally had the space to properly focus on him. He was about a year old I guess? Am very emotional about him too now, and fiercely proud of him.....but only since around then.

Now I'm starting to feel very anxious about the contrast in my feelings already!

I am almost afraid that the guilt I have successfully avoided thus far will crash down like a ton of bricks when I find myself feeling so different about #2!

If you bonded better initially with #2, how did it make you feel?

I'm being ridiculous, aren't I? Tell me to get a grip!

I probably had undiagnosed pnd with dd1 due to shit birth, moving house and living on the other side of the world to family and friends.

We still live here bit l was better prepared for dd2 and had a fabulous quick birth with her. I bonded instantly and yes my relationship is a bit different with her than dd1. But l love them both, l just acknowledge how l feel regarding dd2 birth etc.

I understand how you feel. I had a traumatic experience with DC1 and suffered from PND and anxiety. With DC2 I was worried that if I had a much easier time of things, I'd find myself disliking and subconsciously "blaming" DC1.

Well, I did have an easier time and I didn't have any PND, but my bond with baby DC2 didn't have any effect on my bond with DC1, because I was bonded to them both. Of course I wish that DC1's early days could have been different, but the past is the past and I love both of my children equally. Does that make sense?

Yes and nothing could dent my feelings for DS, but I'm afraid the past will haunt me if it's very different this time. Even though I know I was a decent Mum in practice, I was emotionally barely a Mum at all.

I had a traumatic birth with DC1. I didn't bond with him properly until after DC2 was born 2 years later. I had an unsupportive DH (now ex), an overbearing MIL and a critical unsupportive DM added to the mix. Don't let it worry you too much. Ally's good now and DC1 is now a well adjusted 16yo who was never aware of what I was goi g through.

*all's

Yes and nothing could dent my feelings for DS, but I'm afraid the past will haunt me if it's very different this time. Even though I know I was a decent Mum in practice, I was emotionally barely a Mum at all.

Honestly, that's all so familiar to me. I know I took care of DC1 but I was so miserable.

I was worried that DC2's birth would make me feel guilty but I didn't. I was probably too busy to do much navel gazing, you know?

Please try not to worry.