How do you deal with a toddler who constantly says 'no!'

[Kelly1978]

Dt1 is getting increasingly frustrated and I'm not sure I'm dealing with it in the best way. He is saying 'no' to everything, even when he does want something jsut to assert his independance.
Lunch was quiche, which he loves, made it especially for them. Ate half then starting saying no. So I said no quiche, no banana. Gave him a couple of chances and he wouldn't eat. So he's missed out, and he is furious! The problem is that I seem to be making him more and more strong willed by doing things like this, rather than actually getting through to him.

Stick to what you're doing - you're the one in charge!

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i try to give my two yo choices to try to pre empt the 'no'. also maybe makes them feel less like like they have no control.

eg last night i had made her dinner, she wanted yog instead, i said, would you like to eat the yog before the pasta? she said yes. she ate them both didnt really matter which was eaten first.

another example, she'll never clean teeth and often wont put shoes on. so i ask- which colour toothbrush/ shoes shall we have today. seems to get her on side a bit more.

I really can't remember this phase lasting as long with the older two. Even if I offer him a choice, it is still 'No' - it's his favourite word. Oh well, he won't be a toddler forever.