To take it on the chin or to complain

[chestylaroo]

So... I will just go straight into my dilemma. There this grandmother who collects 2 of her grandchildren at school. She's forever tutting and chuntering about mine or other parents children... I have seen it myself as have others.. I have a very spirited 4 year old who runs and does not walk.... I have ignored her derogative nature up til today. Now my 4 year old today, second day of big school was walking whilst casually swinging his lunchbox mildly and turned round and accidentally swung said lunchbox into her granddaughter. She did not see but the little girl then complained to her that my son had hit her on the head ... Said miserable grandmother then turned round, scouled in quite a vicious was and stated that he was very naughty and then continued to say to her granddaughter 'you'll see what happens if I see him doing it again'.. Personally I see this is a terrible display of aggression and a threat to harm another child. Do you think il being over dramatic ? I've just had a baby and I could just be over exaggerating things but I really feel the need to lodge an official complaint about said comments to the school as it was on school grounds and completely inappropriate .. I did not retaliate as I probably would of swore at her.

I would just completely ignore her. Some people are just very unpleasant.

The problem is.. How often do you ignore it ?.. Why should she get away with being unpleasant.., it just gives her the opportunity to be unpleasant to someone else's child

Your spirited ds casually, mildly swinging a lunchbox hit another child in the head. Did you tell him to stop?

Must have been swinging it pretty high to hit someone in the face

Did I say face ?.. Did I say how tall she is ? Maybe you also have aggression problems and clearly see there is no problem with a grown adult verbally abusing someone else's child !

"Spirited child" - oh god.

Control your son. He shouldn't be running, he should be walking.

He shouldn't be swinging his lunchbox around where it can hit other children.

Deal with good inappropriate behaviour. It's not up to other adults to chastise him.

Whilst she does sound quite aggressive she is probably fed up of your "spirited" child.

You need to have better control of him. Stop him from swinging his lunch box around and running about.

What did you say to your DS when you saw he'd hurt another child?
It is really upsetting to see your child get hurt and even more do when the child who hurt them isn't asked to apologise and told to be careful by their parent. So if you failed to do this then I can understand why this grandmother got so cross. I don't think she dealt with it well but I understand why unless you stepped in and just left that out your op.

It would be far better to stop your 'high spirited' son from doing things that impact on others & apologise when he does something that hurts or even just annoys another child.

Of course you can't complain to the school that some woman was less than delighted when your special snowflake hit her grandchild with his lunchbox. FGS

My dd was also 'very spirited' at 4. I held her hand constantly so she had to walk with me. It wasn't always fun but it kept her, and others, safe.

I didn't see the bit where you and your son apologised in the op. Any reason why you left that part out?

Control your child.

Also he is not:
Spirited.
Vibrant.
Colourful.

He is just 4 yo and needs to be taught how to behave in public.

Did you or your DS apologise to the little girl?

Between your aggression towards Lewatt and "i would have swore at her" perhaps the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?

Hold your childs hand and teach her to be more careful around others.

And you do need to teach him to behave. Running around isn't always appropriate in a busy playground at home time/start of school.
He shouldn't be swinging his lunch box as someone will get hurt.

You sound like you're defending your DC like anyone of us would, but your DS and you are in the wrong here.

I wouldn't call tutting verbal abuse either

Oh god, I can't abide the term "spirited", it usually means a overindulged child who is naughty but the parents see it as endearing!

Make your son hold your hand and don't allow him to swing lunchboxes etc, it's asking for trouble.

No one course she shouldn't have reacted so angrily, but likewise you should have reprimanded his poor behaviour and made him apologise. You'll do him no favours letting him carry on as he is.

"but the little girl then complained to her that my son had hit her on the head"

does sound like your ds was swinging it quite high.
maybe the gm/gd has (suffered is the wrong word but can't think of the right one) at his hands before?

yes she was aggressive but without knowing the above its impossible to say

Take it on the chin and apologise. Teach your son how to behave in public and that swinging his lunch box around and hitting others with it is not acceptable.

Who exactly were you thinking of complaining to OP?

"Casually swinging his lunchbox mildly"

Oh for god sake why is it that people with children who annoy others with their behaviour think they can just call them spirited and then carry on as normal and do nothing to stop the behaviour?