Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

My 7. 5 month old is so miserable and I just can't cope anymore

39 replies

Summerdays2014 · 30/08/2016 18:23

I really can't cope. My husband came home to find me in tears tonight, just like at 4am this morning. My son used to be so happy and smiley and everyone used to comment on it. Now he is miserable constantly when at home with me and nothing I do is right for him. We go out to one class every day and for a walk/to the shops/park everyday as well he seems happy at these classes and when we are out. At home however, he whinges and cries if I put him down on his front, on his back or sitting up. Cries in his high chair so I have no idea if he is crying because he is hungry/full/miserable. I try to entertain him, play with him, sing to him, give him toys, give him space and time to play on his own and quiet time, use a walker and jumparoo he just doesn't like anything for more that a couple of minutes. The only time he stops is if I pick him up and walk around with him. If I then sit down with him he starts again. I feel like I am failing. I can't spend all day out of the house. He won't nap for more than 30 minutes a day and it's 50/50 if he will allow me to put him down in his cot. Today he hasn't. I always have to rock him to sleep he has never self settled. His night time sleep is awful, changes on a nightly basis and have to rock him/sometimes just pat him to sleep. Tried CC a few weeks ago out of pure desperation but it didn't work at all. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Is he teething? No sign of any but giving him stuff anyway. developmental leap? Trying half heartedly to craw but been doing this for weeks now. Food allergy/intolerance after starting solids? No idea. Separation anxiety? He cries when I'm with him. Illness? No systems. Overtired? Very probably but I can't figure out how to solve that.
I must just be a crap mum who can't make he child happy or get him to sleep. I'm so sad. Husband is great and we do 50/50 nights. I also get time to do my own thing on weekends eg went for a massage this weekend. Have been to health visitor and gp about him and me. Am on anti depressants - feel like this is been managed well.

I just want my happy baby back. Is it a phase? It been going on about a month now. Not going though a wonder week at the moment.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 31/08/2016 14:47

Diddly, we use a dummy for naps and bedtime and have also been using bonjela. Good idea about putting it on the dummy. I did think I felt a small bump on his gum when u put some bonjela on earlier so maybe the end of teething misery is insight? I really am hoping its just a phase and that I don't just have a miserable son. Went out for a coffee with friend and he was ok, been at home about 2 hours and he's not been toooo bad (certainly not as bad as yesterday which was just hideous and led to this thread) He's asleep on me (again) now decided not to even bother trying to put him down as I can't cope with the stress. I've bought him a rolling toy thing from mothercare hopefully it will encourage him to crawl, but who knows. I think the advice of just accepting it's a bit crap at the moment is good. Also interesting that people think doing less classes would help. I always thought it was important to take him out and 'stimulate' him as much as possible. Maybe it has been too much... He does seem to like them though, he loves looking at other people/babies and is always paying full attention to whatever the leader is doing/saying. Lots of food for thought.

OP posts:

Diddlydokey · 31/08/2016 17:09

The classes are mostly for you, really, to get you out of the house for some company. But if he's happy at them, stick at it.

I expect that when he's home any tiredness and pain is apparent and he's not being distracted anymore.

At his age they start to consolidate to 2 better naps and this usually helps. Try to do one after the morning class in the pram or car and one at home in the afternoon.

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 31/08/2016 18:35

2 longer naps (in the cot) is the dream! As he only has 30 mins at a time he needs 3 at the moment, can't wait for that to change. He currently wakes at 6ish every morning so has one nap anywhere between 8-9, one anytime between 11.30-12.30 and another sometime around 3.

As for the classes, I do enjoy them. Don't have any friends on maternity leave or with babies at the moment so it's nice. Also gives me a routine and structure to the day which I like. Some are 'real' classes, music, yoga etc and two are at the local library for 30 minute singing and storytime. We stay after and read a few books etc.

Today has been better, he has still been miserable, this morning was bad, however I now feel more hopeful that I can get through it which has helped. I've also tried to be in a more positive frame of mind as someone suggested which I think has made a difference.

I really appreciate the support I've had. Thank you.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old Babies & sleep Families General parenting

Artandco · 31/08/2016 19:17

You say he crus when put down but happy held. A decent sling would help a lot I think

I found mine needed contact a lot at this age. Even if they were happy in the morning not held, they would then be clingy all afternoon. If in comparison Dh or I put them in sling in the morning and hey napped in there and stayed whilst we pottered around doing stuff or out then they seemed much more content later in the day

Diddlydokey · 31/08/2016 21:52

Summer - he might actually be ready to consolidate the naps and then be in better form after a longer sleep. Could you try keeping him up longer? Either just having a few grumpy mornings or pushing it back 15 minutes at a time.

To get the longer nap, they need to be awake longer. It is very much an age where a lot of babies move to the 2 / 3 / 4 routine with naps at 9-10.30 and 1.30-3 and bed at 7... either that or 10-11.30 & 2.30-4.

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 04/09/2016 09:17

Hi again everyone, so I have been trying to follow the advice of getting more daytime sleep and the 2,3,4 routine. My son is still miserable, but not as bad and he has just started with a runny nose and I think I can see his first tooth just poking through so this could explain it.

So this 2,3,4 routine... This morning he woke at 6.10. 7oz bottle at 7. Yoghurt and fruit at 7.45. Took him upstairs at 8.10 he yawned as we walked upstairs! Put him in sleeping bag, read story, put him down and patted/stroked him to sleep-this took 15 mins. Normally I let him sleep in my arms as i can't transfer him to the cot once he falls asleep, so for the past few days/nights we have tried this and it's worked! He slept for just over 20 minutes. Normal naps are 30ish, sometimes up to an hour on me, or upto 2 hours if I keep driving!

How am I meant to get into the 2,3,4 if he has these tiny naps? We have only had 2 naps the past few days as I've been trying to keep him up longer in the hope he naps longer.

Any advice?

OP posts:

MiaowTheCat · 04/09/2016 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Summerdays2014 · 04/09/2016 19:12

Thanks Miaow, gives me hope!

OP posts:

Lucy8829 · 04/03/2019 08:48

Hello, I have just came across this post of yours and I could have written it myself! I just wanted to know how/if things changed with your son or if I need to prepare myself to have a baby who is just constantly unhappy! I feel so defeated!

PulcinoPio · 04/03/2019 20:31

Lucy, my DS was miserable at this age and it was a combination of teething and ear infections. Crying when lying down is often a sign of an ear infection, so maybe check with the GP? For teething, nothing but calpol and ibuprofen was ever effective for us and the worst pain seemed to be well before the teeth actually came through. At it's worst, he was in pain even just drinking from a bottle, so then he cried because he was hungry too. It was a hideous time, so hugs for you!

Lucy8829 · 06/03/2019 16:35

Thank you, I am having such a hard time. He is so unhappy at home. He loves being out but as soon as are back home he just screams. It really makes feel crappy like he doesn't like being with me.
I feel like I am reaching my limit.
I know having a baby is tough but today I couldn't even cook myself lunch, that is how much hard woke my son is.
I just want him to be bit happier and content. I am terrified this is how he is and he will be like this forever

surreygirl1987 · 14/03/2019 20:52

@Lucy I'm in the same boat with my 5 month old (though luckily we've cracked naps... for now at least!!).

How old is your little one? My son whinges all the time on and off...

Lucy8829 · 16/03/2019 15:48

He is 8 months old and he has been like this for 3 months.
I am so worried this is how he is and will always be such a moany, unhappy child

It's so tiring and draining

user1496701154 · 16/03/2019 15:57

Your not s crap mam first and foremost. Is your little one crawling or cursing I remember my son at that age he was very whing and didn't like been but down then he started to cruise around.

Cc I hated it I still settle my 19 month old to sleep however o use to do the rocking same as you. I changed from rocking to patting and have got down to just cuddles now and when baby just about to drop off I put him in cot and he snuggles with a comforter.

Your a birllant mam it's just hard work

Flip

1 2