My 4yo is concerned she is not keeping up at school

[FatFikAndFugly]

my heart broke for her this morning, to be concerned about something like that at such a young age I've never put any pressure on her or tought her to be competative etc

she said she doesn't do things right and that she just ends up scribbling.

Teacher said she's doing fine and there's nothing to be concerned about I just really feel for her. Indequecy is the worst feeling in the world isn't it(?)

That's so sad, that she feels it at such a young age.

yeah, now I'm worried that I have praised her too much though.

She has always been behind with her fine and gross motor skills but she's a sharp as a button and I've never worried too much about it (figure she'll catch up in her own time)

There must be something that she enjoys that you can really praise her for?

Is it possible to praise too much?

I don't know, I'm a bit gung-ho with praise due to my own memories of childhood.. I hope that you can't praise too much.

She's great at everything. She's no need to be concerned at all and I told she had no need to worry.. just sad that it plays on her mind. I am aware she is behind with writing and is less coordinated physically but she's getting there.

She was a late walker (had lots of xrays etc) didn't crawl and only few months ago settled on using a specific hand so she's bound to have a bit of catching up to do.

ds still hasnt decided what hand to use and hes five - i always tell him hes so clever as he can write with both hands.

I think she's more conscious of her peers than other children are if you know what I mean... very aware of others feelings emotions etc so perhaps has noticed that other children can write better or something I don't know.. I just feel a bit sad that she is even conscious of this sort of thing. She's not even full-time yet

yes, very sad that she is aware of this. I would just keep re-inforcing to her that everyone is good at different things and it doesn't mean they are better than anyone else. Also help her to practice things she feels she's not good at. Ds' writing looks like a mess to me but his teacher manages to understand what he is trying to say.

Could you perhaps have a word with the teacher, perhaps some praise from him/her would boost dd's confidence.

I think it's hard being a girl that doesn't write well (I have a girl and boy so I'm not biased ).

Most people seem to expect boys to have some difficulty writing but more often than not, the girls do OK at writing. I have a dd who is a poor writer (she's now 6 in year 2) and I must admit, she still agonises about it now. Her friends are all writing beautiful joined up words and writing LOADS and she's still doing non joined up writing and her letters are still not all correctly formed (she's much MUCH improved though).

Fine motor skills are annoying things - you can practice but ultimately, if her fine motor skills aren't quite there yet, she's not going to be able to write. I think it's even harder when they realise that they can't do it - very demoralising for them.

Can you focus on what she's good at?

Children start school and formal learning too young. My children also worry a lot about their "performance" at school and I have never put any pressure on them. They should be playing in the mud at this age and not worry about their academic ability....

foxinsocks, my boy worries a lot more than my girl. I think often boys are more sensitive.

also, dd did virtually no writing in reception - they focused on things like tracing over pictures and colouring in. They only really started getting her to write in yr1 when they felt her fine motor skills were developed enough.

Perhaps it's worth having a word with the teacher and telling him/her that she's a bit demoralised and perhaps focusing her efforts on colouring/tracing/model building (all things that develop the right skills without being pressured to draw a perfect 'a' iyswim!)?

I agree Fairy. Some children are just not ready for it - some are, but lots aren't.

MEntioned it to the teacher this morning who was very good, said she had nothing to worry about was doing fine etc also that they always try and make every child feel that they are doing really really well. I'm slightly concerned she took it as a personal criticism but she didn't show it if she did.

Said perhaps she has notice d what other children are doing when she is sta next to them (this would be dd all over)

She's very good at other things - imaginative play, is very articulate and compasionate - I would say emotinally she is more advanced than an average 4yo iykwim which I think make her more susceptible to others abilities and emotions etc

she said she felt fine after school today and she had written her name beautifully on a piece of artwork.