Feel like I'm totally failing with my baby

[passingthrough1]

So I've been trying to get my baby asleep now for almost 12 hours, since before 10pm last night. He's normally terrible with nights anyway but I'm now kind of used to a few hours sleep only. Tonight I have actually not slept and I just don't even have the energy to do anything anymore.
All I know how to do is feed him and then we get into these terrible feeding cycles where he's clearly had too much, starts spitting everything up and then gets distressed and looks for comfort so he feeds more and spits that up. We end up both lying on the bed crying with milk all over us. I just feel like I should know what to do for him.
He's a very windy baby and seems constipated and in discomfort like he's pushing and straining so much of the day despite the fact that he is dirtying a nappy every few hours. When he's on the changing table I move his legs clockwise and do bicycle legs to help him push it out, but once he does do a poo he's almost immediately straining for the next one.
I hate that he seems in so much distress and all I do is seem to make it worse. I'm really just not sure how much longer I can do this. Please tell me this stage ends? He's a month.

Sorry for double post- it said it hadn't posted first time

My ds was like this. If you imagine he's swallowing lots of air each time he sucks you can see why his tummy is getting full so he stops feeding but it's not keeping him satisfied for long and it's painful. The wind may also be bringing a bit of milk up with it so you feel like he's having too much but actually it's just the force of the air bringing it up.

Have a look on YouTube for winding techniques and look into getting the tt snipped. Try to keep him as upright as possible after feeds. But as his digestive system matures and he's able to manage the wind himself things will get better. My ds was a nightmare newborn because of wind but became a brilliant sleeper as he got a bit older.

Also, I heard that the constipation/straining thing is them not quite knowing which muscles to use which, again, improves with age.

It's a sharp learning curve isn't it!

Another vote for 100% get the tongue tie snipped. In my experience sadly gps, health visitors and even some lactation consultants are uneducated about tongue ties. It doesn't matter if weight gain is fine, he is clearly suffering and so are you. I'd pay to get it done privately ASAP. Good luck!!

Mine was the same, I slept with her elevated on my knees with a stronger pillow underneath so they don't fall down with baby during sleep. That was the only way. Could only do it for 3 hours as my back would hurt after as all the baby weight is in your waist.she was 6,7 months. Our problem was that she had cows milk allergy and getting it from my breast milk hence an uncomfortable stomach and explosive poos. He might vomit from all the straining that causes reflux, also at the time HV suggested to wind and keep her upright for 20 min to half hour after each feed. What a lot of us go through in the early days... It will get better with time, eighter the baby will or someone will find wars the exact problem if there is one. It takes longer to diagnose babies as symptoms are similar with colic, reflux, allergy etc