Thinking about going for a third ... persuade or dissuade me!

[halcat]

I have a DD aged 4 and a DS aged 19 months. Life is getting easier by the day, job just getting interesting again and I'm reluctant to go back to the sleepless nights etc plus I wouldn't mind never having to give birth again. BUT I have always wanted 3 children and think it would be great in the longer term. Those of you with 3, tell me how it is! Should I go for it? How long is the tricky bit? And is it much harder than having 2?

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Only you know how you would feel if you stopped at 2. Would you forever regret it? Would you feel 'incomplete'?

I have 3 and can say, that I would not swap it for the world BUT it has made a shed loads of difference to the way we run things. Much harder work, but much more fun.

echo re: holidays and car etc etc.

We haven't found it easy but I don't regret it.

just a word of warning...I wanted 3, persuaded DH and am now pg with feckin twins and that's with no family history, IVF or anything. Am sure this is whole other thread though.

I am only on number 1 at the moment but would love 3 although I think it is pretty unlikely that we will have more than 2. Dh is a middle child and although I have never discussed it with him he was and still is overlooked by his parents. Dh's older sister has always been regarded as the sensible one and followed the exact path in life that they would have chosen for her, dh's younger brother is the baby of the family and gets everything done for him and is still spoilt rotten at christmas and dh although still very much loved by his parents does not get the same attention as his siblings. He is regarded more as the rebellious one when he is actually about as conservative as you can get but is a lot more independant than his siblings. Perhaps middle children tend to be more independant because they get less attention. Has anyone else noticed this?

this thread is interesting, im having my coil out next week, hoping to conceive dc3!! i am over the moon, been asking/begging/pleading for about a year now and dp said yes :O

good to read how others find the leap from 2 to 3. cant be as bad as 1 to 2 though? (she says hopefully)

I personally think the leap from 1 to 2 is worse than from 2 to 3

I have three, but twins within that, not sure if I would have chosen to have 3. If 3 is what you want then as long as your partner wants that to, you should go for it.
The only real thing that I can say against having 3, is that it is true about two being company and three being a crowd.

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oh I dunno... my worst (so far ) was my first. We risked having more as we reckoned it couldn't get much worse! Fortunately, (so far) we were right.

Me: don't do it - two's enough- you can farm them out much easier, they're kind of controllable, they fit into most cars and small houses are OK. You'll get to see light at the end of the parenting small children tunnel much quicker if you quiet now!

dp: But babies are gorgeous, wonderful things. Three's a lovely number. Ds2 will love a younger sibling. First child is at school so less to deal with during the day. Go for it!

(small insight into Dottydot's life at the moment... )

so true re: farming them out. Very good point.

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Hi - my 3rd killed me for the first year but since then it's been great. My ds loves having 2 little sisters, my dd1 was intensely jealous of dd2 for 18months (I kid you not!) but now they play together, gang up together and all 3 are like a little tribe of their own and stick up for each other against me when I'm in a 'had enough of the children' mood - it's great! Boy, that first 12 months was awful though - 3 under 4 1/2 was not a good idea! Yes - and holidays are difficult as everybody has 2 children don't they!!!!!!NOT

not read the whole thread but I am 1 month into having my third and love it. I have a 3 yr old DS, 13mth old DD and nearly 4wk old DD2. Love love love it so much so that we are considering having another[not as quickly as this age gap though!!!] It can be hard sometimes as DD1 is teething and obviously the lack of sleep. However with a 19mth old by the time you had baby they would be 2 1/2 at least which is great gap. No need for double pram etc. I havent found it too bad but have been told it may be harder when DD2 is mobile etc. The only bit I struggle with is 'running' into places as DD1 cant walk very well so has to be carried as does DD2 and poor Ds holds onto my coat and thats just a quick run into shop for milk from car.

3 is fab! Mine are 10, 6 and 10 months and despite the age gap and going back to babies again i love having 3 - couldn't tell you exactly why though! Mind you, it is tiring - just through the sheer logistics of trying to organise everybody day in day out and them all wanting my attention at the same time (as true of a 10 year old as it is of a 10 month old)- and the washing, my God it's endless!! But honestly i love it - would never have felt quite right with just 2, hence why we tried for over 4 years to get no. 3.

Sallycn - you have exactly the same ages dcs as me

I found it tough going back to the baby bit. And trying to find a day out where all are happy can be tough sometimes, I agree.

I would love to have your twins, breadandroses. My 3rd lost his twin.

I liked having 3 so much that 15m later I had no4

oh yes

and then what happened, juule?

is this a cautionary tale?

Exactly, Filly, give in to the urge to have number 3 and then one just might not know when to stop

Halcat,I had 3 and secretly yearned for 4,but also thought things had got easier,had part time job etc,but thr thought never went away.If people asked I always said 'I'll have another' even when dd2 (3rd child) went to school.Finally decided at age 38 to try .Got pregnant straight away,everyone shocked as our eldest was 16 and youngest 6. DD3,our fourth child, now 1 and fantastic,so glad we listened to our instincts! Go for it!

We have one of each. DH is currently waging an undercover, guerilla operation re the desirability of DC3. I think the main thrust of his argument (I tend to have my fingers in my ears shouting la,la,la) is that as we currently have every bit of kit imaginable I actually wouldn't even notice DC3. Oh and it is also the ecologically sound thing to do to reuse said mountains of stuff.

So interesting, all the things I'm fearing seem to be true (lack of ability to farm them out, only 2 pairs of hands, rancidly tough first year, world set up for families of 4 etc) but all the good stuff is the stuff I'm keen on. I think iI would always feel as if I was missing something if I don't try... but guess I'm nervous about regretting if I do. Oh hell, how bad can it be?!

I'm also v interested about all this middle child stuff, I am a middler and have never had a problem with it, think in a way you get the best of both sides as not hammered with all the responsibility but also don;t have to go to bed the earliest etc. Have to say my little boy is a show off in the making so i don't see him being sidelined too easily - but appreciate the advice about making sure he isn't anyway.

I guess you'll never know for sure unless you try... so wish me luck and maybe I'll be back sobbing about how I wished I'd stuck at 2 in a year's time!

I wouldn't even have two!!!! My sister has FOUR!!!!!!!!!