If your toddler bit or kicked your friend's toddler really hard...

[VeronicaMars]

enough to leave quite a mark, what would you do?
My friend's son who's 2 did it to my lo, who's younger and a lot smaller. Just came straight over and did it for no reason at all. My friend told her little boy off, but not really iykwim. So my lo has marks on her, which turned into bruises, and she didn't say anything to me about it at all, just went back to talking. I'm really pissed off about it and I don't really want to go and see her again because I spend my time waiting for her little boy to push, hit, pull hair or whatever.
She's a really good friend and I don't want to fall out with her over it but it's always like this. Anyone had a similar situation, did it get better or worse??

hmm yes I have been

I ended up avoiding them

It was just too stressful and I got too upset at seeing my dd getting whacked with lorries, with total INTENT

horrid

dd3 is 2years old next month. if she pulls, bites, slaps, thens its a case 'no we dont pull hair/slap/bite, its not nice'.

my daughter attacks everone, she bits and scratches, sometimes for no reason, sometimes out of frustration with conflict. I feel absolutely mortified. She is always told off, sat on the step, or if we are out and she does it after being told no she is take straight home. It is very hard, as you have to watch them like hawks, but there is no way I would just keep on talking and brush it off. If she is a really good friend, she will understand if you mention it to her. I think it is too late to say something now, but if it happens again, and you are not happy with the reponse then say something. A lot of children do this, and it will pass, but at the time it is horrible, and I'm sure we all want to protect our kids.hth

Thanks for the replies, it is very stressful watching her get hurt. She's involved in playgroups and is well used to other children but she is still always very quiet when we go to someone's house. I agree that it is too late to say anything now but myself and dh are really pissed about it. I know that all kids are different and they go through phases and we have no idea what phases our dd will go through but when a childs not warned or punished for doing soemthing thay will do it over and over, I know it's not the childs fault. I was thinking of leaving dd home with dh when I visit the next few times, wondering would she get the hint??

perhaps, but she may be a little hurt when you explain why. I would all go together, but keep your eyes peeled, and you tell the child off if needs be. I would not be offended if my dd face raked someones child and their mother told her off if they were nearer.

Yeah I suppose I could tell him off in a nice enough way and encourage him to play with dd instead of beating her up! It's just one more thing to add to an already stressful situation, very hard to plan days out with them or anything like that because we know it would be too chaotic.

it will pass i'm sure. my blood pressure is always through the roof when we go anywhere she even tried to pinch a baby's face on the telly the other day. She seems to lash out when they are crying

dd is very calm one, i never seen her attacks at least pushing kids away. but other kids seem to do it quite often. i have friend who is ds is 2.6 he is 10m older. he is quite bossy, everything is no and stop. pushes dd away all the time. but my friend always make him say sorry and tells him its not nice thing to do. obviously as long as she is not seriously hurt i dont bother, but one occasion he pushed her into toy hoover and she had scratches by her eyebrow. friend and her husband come with ds next day, wanted make sure dd was fine, which is nice of them.
at playgroups i always after her, i know a few kids almost 3 who are known by quite bad behaviour.

At least they called to see if your lo was ok, that was nice of them. It wasn't even mentioned after it happened. dd had lovely yellow bruise the next day. I felt so sorry for her because she just sits and watches.

Allie we know someone who's toddler cries and has a tantrum if she hears a baby crying!

it's bizarre. she pinched my sisters nephew when he cried as he had to go in his car seat (he is 6months) and she pinched a baby at nursery also. She doesn't do it all the time, it's so awful when she does though. I think it is unavoidable like diva said, but it's more the reaction from the parent that is the issue. perhaps you should buy the child some mittens, dd is harmless when she has hers on

Might need to but my friend the mittens if she doesn't like me telling her lo off!!

Depends, if it is someting the child does all the time, I would definately say something or end the playdates. If the mom won't say anthing, then you can speak to the child directly. I had an incident at play group recently where a child get hitting my son but the carer would do nothing. I held his hand and told him firmly "dont hit". After the 4th time I had to tell him the carer walked over and I politely explained that I had to speak to him because he kept hitting my son. She picked him up and removed him which was a relief. Idon't like to dicipline other people's children (I have enough to do with my own) but I will if it is a safety issue for them or any child.