My son (8) has a "friend" at school, another boy in his class. In year 2 (last year) they started off a thing of going to each others houses for tea once a week, I hated it as I wasn't keen on the kid to start with and I hate messing about after school with other people's kids (as unsociable as it sounds) and also this kid is a very faddy eater so we had to buy in junk basically so that he'd eat something.
Anyway it died down after a while but then a few months later it started up again, after this kids behaviour took a turn for the worse I told my son that I didn't want him back over here again so instead he brought home another friend who was a complete nightmare, hyperactive, cheeky and naughty (drew all over the bedroom doors) etc. I told son that I didn't want this boy over anymore either and he got upset and I felt sorry for him as he's been bullied since reception and now that he's starting to make friends it seemed like I was spoiling it for him.
So in the end I agreed for the first kid to come over again as he hadn't been for a while - he was an absolute nightmare, from the minute he got out of school he was being naughty throwing things at people, attacking my 5 year old and starting "Play" fights with my eldest son, in the car he threw things at me whilst I was driving, threw pennies at my 5 year olds head, wrecked my 8 year old's homework...I took them to tesco as I needed a few things before we went home and this kid was skidding up and down the ailses, nagging for me to buy him a PS2 game (!!!!) and then kicked off and told me I was "mean and tight" because I only bought them one sweet each instead of two!
When we eventually got home it got worse, he attacked my 5 year old smashing his face into the wooden living room floor cutting his eye and breaking his glasses, he broke one of DS1's toys, refused to eat at the table saying he should be allowed to eat in the living room and then to top it off he refused to get his shoes on to go home.
When I eventually got rid I had a splitting headache and I told my son that under no circumstances would this kid, or anyother kid from school come over again, my son accepted this.
Anyway this was a few months ago now and 2 weeks ago when I went to pick up my son I was in a massive rush and he came over with this boy and asked if he could come over, his mum was stood there too...as I was caught off guard and was in a rush I stupidly said "not tonight, maybe next week", the boy then ran off and told him mum that he was coming to our house the following thursday so the following thursday came and that morning I told my son to tell said kid that he wouldnt be able to come over as we were busy, my son told him it would be ok the week after. The week after I genuinly forgot and when thursday came I was caught off guard again when they came out of school and told him that I had too much on this week, he looked at his mum and she looked at me so I said "he can come next week", I went on the explain that I had ALOT on my mind right now (terminal illness in family, nightmare with passport applications, money worries etc). she was ok about it but as we were walking away this kid shouted "this is 3 weeks in a row now, if you say it again next week I'm going to smash your head in!" this was said to me! he said it in a jokey way but even so, it just confirmed to me that I don't want this kid in my home.
I know I shouldnt have told him he could come back week after week but am I being mean by not having him back? How would you handle this?