Discipline - how does it work - does everything require a warning??

[knakered]

Try really hard to do the discipline thing right...but not sure what thr correct response is when they have done something really bad that they know is wrong (mine are 56&8) ie the parenting advice is firm warning then if they do it again - sanction/timeout whatever....but is this appropriate when one hits the other - is rude to me ie doesnt seem sensible "If you break your brothers other arm...you will have 6 miins time out>>>

Any violence equals instant time out here. No second chance to do it again.

i dont always give a warning. some things require instant action.

and, come on, a lot of the time kids know that something is naughty when they do it so a warning isnt required. they know exactly why you're frogmarching them to their bedroom!!

1. Please don't do that because... (reinforcement)

2. If you continue/do that again I will .....(appropriate/relevant/related punishment eg, if you break your brother's other arm I will use your pocket money to pay for the parking at A&E!)

3. Carry out threat. Always.

in this house 1 thing doesnt have a warnoing (due to fact have been warned about it hundreds of times)

If you stamp your foot and shout crossly "Im not playing anymore" then you go straight on the step

apart from that we have warning

step for X minutes (X being your age)
say sorry... if you dont stay sorry you stay therefor anotehr X minutes

this continue until you do say sorry

yesturday this took 4 year old an hour and a half

I agree, there are things that do not require a warning - things that are dangerous/cause injury like hitting each other or slamming doors on each other. I think being rude falls into a different category and should get a warning. We have this a lot with DD(nearly 6) - not exactly rudeness, but speaking to me a way she knows is not acceptable. Sometimes she's not even aware she's doing it and needs a reminder to "check" her behaviour.

I think most things get a warning I like to give DD the chance to do the right thing after being asked to stop the behaviour. I think something that causes someone else harm or serious danger is an instant thing but rudeness would be a warning first.

I am a strict disciplinarian, but the one thing I rarely insist on is making a child say sorry. This is because I was always made to say sorry when I was a child and it was such agony to me then, I can rarely say it now.

In response to the OP, I don't hink hitting someone else requires a warning, especially if it was a hit hard enough to cause genuine hurt. All childen surely know it is wrong to hit. The warning idea comes in when it is less clear to the child that the behaviour is wrong.

i agree with WT>.that is how it works in our house too.....and you have to stick to your guns, or it is counter productive, so make sure it is a punishment that will be something you can stick too !