Does this sound like it's going in the right direction?

[musica]

Ds is 3 in a week and a half, and I am potty training him at the moment (half term seemed a good time to begin). He is being a total star - wees on demand in the potty, and he only has 1 or 2 accidents a day - usually when he's had a lot to drink. BUT he isn't at all aware of when he needs to go - I have to take him to the potty each time. So I can keep him dry, but he is taking zero responsibility for it. I've tried just not reminding him, but he just wets his pants, and doesn't seem unduly bothered by it. Has anyone got any suggestions for getting him to ask when he needs to go?

Also, what have other people done for things like playgroup when potty training - ds has playgroup tomorrow, and we have options of pants, training pants, or pull ups. I don't want to abandon the potty training for an afternoon, but equally it seems unfair to potentially cause floods!

Thanks.

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Thanks Yorkiegirl - I'm hoping he suddenly gets the idea. That sounds really encouraging about your dd. I've told him he can have a sticker if he asks to go, so I'll see if that helps. I'll try the pants for playgroup...

Musica, today was ds's first day in pants (2 and 3/4s) and exactly the same thing. Have decided to keep him in pants tomorrow as well, but if still the same we are going back to nappies and will try again in a month. Of course am worried that putting him back in to nappies is completely the wrong thing to do and is sending wrong signal, but we will have run out of pants by end of tomorrow anyway!

As for playgroup, ds's nursery are very understanding and willing to roll up their sleeves and get on with it. They even suggest buying those jelly sandals (£4 from Mothercare) to save the shoes!

He's just asked for the potty and done a poo in it!!!! And was very excited at getting his sticker. Maybe we will get there....does every mother feel their child will still be in nappies when they leave school?

musica, ds1 has been in pants for about 4 weeks and like yours, I sometimes feel that it is all timing/anticipation from me with very little responsibility from him. Though he can surprise me and take the initiative, and at nursery he is very reliable, so part of me thinks that it is just me being too uptight and making him go on the potty more often than he really needs to - I should just wait for him to go himself....
I've found that he is better when out and about so I would definitely go for pants on your outings.

Woo hoo - he made it through playgroup with one visit to the toilet in the middle - no accidents today! Think we're getting there. elliott - that does sound similar - know what you mean about being over anxious - I am the mother bearing down with a potty shrieking 'WEE WEE !!!!' kittyb - how has today gone? I was talking to some friends today, and they said just to stick it out. Some children just take longer than GF's week.

Pull-ups were a complete false start for us: IMO they are just confusing as they feel like a nappy. They are also a pain as you have to take trousers, and therefore shoes, off to put a new one on.

this is day 2 for us and there is definately an improvement - yesterday he was telling me after the event, today he was telling me just as it started - maybe tomorrow we will crack it. One thing though - he doesnt seem to be able to distinguish whether its a pee or a poo coming. He says "poo coming" and we rush to the loo, then he seems genuinely surprised when its just a wee. Has anyone else experienced this?

musica and kittyb - yes, it all sounds very familiar, and positive too. When they haven't had to 'listen out' for their body's sounds, it will take them a while to tune in to the signals, especially if they are busy playing.

After a couple of days taking them to the potty regularly, and making them sit and see, try and get them to take more responsibility. Ask them to stop what they are doing and concentrate on you, and ask "Do you need a wee?" Hopefully they should tune in quickly, and you won't both get to the stage of nagging/boredom. Try not to ask too often.

And remember to keep up loads of praise/rewards for success!

ds has just had an hour and a half snooze and was dry when he woke up. (He also had a wee then a poo in the park this morning, but I'm concentrating on the positive.) A friend has given me a pair of Bright Bots training pants to try at night. I wasnt sure if putting a nappy on for nighttime was sending the wrong message. I'll give them a go but I think sleep has to be the priority just now. He probably wouldnt wake up if he was wet but I'm not risking it! Anyway I can definately see progress each day. Musica how are things with you?

thanks btw Roisin - I was thinking this morning how strange it must be to not recognise these signals. And do your carpets ever recover?

Hi kittyb - things are going ok with ds - I can keep him dry and clean, but it really does involve me organising his toilet schedule. He doesn't seem to know when he's about to go, and doesn't actually seem to mind too much if he has an accident. Maybe it will just click. I've made a sticker chart for asking for the potty, so maybe that will help. How about you - how are things going?

ha, musica - yesterday I tried to institute a 'sticker for asking for the potty' regime but I utterly failed - just couldn't stop myself insisting he went when I knew he needed it....
Otherwise I'm exactly where you are, so please let me know if your sticker chart is effective and I'll try harder!

Although I think ds1 does know when he needs to go, just not with very much warning. He's better with poos - quite often takes the initiative to go then.

It's working....having spent a couple of hours suggesting he sits on the potty, and him saying 'I can't', he suddenly got a look of consternation, picked up the potty, gave it to me, I sat him on it, and he did a huge wee. We're getting there!!! And he was SO pleased with his sticker. How are you all going?