Please help! Baby cries awfully in the car, I can't bear it

[Pamida]

Hi, my baby is 3 months old and he HATES being in the car. He always cries, sometimes 5 mins into the journey, occasionally he's ok for up to 25 mins. I've tried so much to make him happy, including:
-making sure he's fed, has a clean nappy

• toys on the car seat & no toys
• having window open and closed
• driving fast/ driving slow
• sunshade up/ sunshade down
• music on/ off
• my worn nightie in the car seat

Try as I might, he won't take a dummy, so that doesn't work. I can't bear to hear him cry (I'm not a fan of cry it out), occasionally when I've been unable to stop he's cried for 20 minutes- he gets himself so worked up he's almost sick. He gets drenched in sweat and it takes a while to calm him down again. It absolutely breaks my heart.

Car journeys are now so stressful and traumatic that I'm starting to become a recluse.

Has anyone out there had similar problems? Has anyone got any advice.... please? It's making me really unhappy.
Thank you so much in advance.

Dd was like this and I hated car journeys with her. She'd scream and be inconsolable for the entire journey. She didn't really improve until she went into a forward facing car seat. One thing that did help was switching off the passenger air bag and putting her in the front seat next to me so she could see me and I could see her as I was driving. I could talk to her and put her dummy in/give her her teddy back when we stopped at traffic lights and it made it a bit easier.
She's nearly 4 now and still cries in the car and anywhere else if she has a problem that you can't solve straight away (a dropped teddy for example) so I still avoid driving with her if I can. We're going to Cornwall in October, an 8+ hr drive, and I'm dreading it.

Singing is the only thing that works for me.

Oh yes, ENDLESS renditions of Edelweiss, as loud as I could. I'd forgotten that!

My dd HATED the car between 4-8 months, I avoided all car journeys where possible, but things that helped were:
Mirror
Repeatedly swinging the same godawful nursery rhymes
Toys that make a noise
Sippy cup/snacks

She's almost 10m now and can still go batshit in the car if she is so inclined, but she tends to go for longer peaceful stretches now, I can't wait to put her in a FF seat!

Got this with DD. She hates sitting in a stationery or slow car (roadworks on the M5 bring me out into a cold sweat). I am using the bus a lot at the moment as it's easier to distract her in a sling.

AndroidAddict , is it possible to do the Cornish trip in the evening so you hopefully get a sleeping toddler, plus quiet roads?

I put mine in the front so she could see me at that age. Figured it was safer than driving like a mad person and being stressed out. She's 6 months now and fine in the back

Front seat with the hood down and air con on full. With a few verses of anaconda. It was the only thing that worked!

We had this once on holiday abroad, using a hired carseat - screaming on every single journey. I think the carseat was just too uncomfortable - it didn't seem to have very good padding between DS and the plastic inside, so got quite sweaty (and even worse when he cried and got hot!), and it was possibly a bit hard too. He was fine in his normal seat at home. Maybe see if you can borrow a seat from someone else briefly to try?

DS2 is 11 months now and still cries if a journey takes more than 10 minutes. We've started doing a lot more things in our local area as I just can't stand the crying when I can do nothing about it .
We're doing a 4 hour trip over the summer but I'm thinking of setting off at about 3am and hoping he'll go back to sleep.

He also doesn't really like the high chair or pushchair. I'm hoping he'll get better as he gets older.

Can he see you? If not try putting him in the front with the airbag off or out a mirror in the back so he can see you.

Classic FM worked for DD1, strangely. She'd bawl until we put CFM on, then she'd go quiet in an instant.

Thank you everyone. He already has a mirror but I haven't tried the front seat yet, so I'll give that a go. The infant insert is also still in the seat so hopefully taking that out might make him more comfortable.
Thanks again for all your advice! x

Could you try bringing the car seat inside and putting him in to play for short stretches? It reminds me a bit of DD and the bath - she hated it so much we had to re-establish trust by spending fun time in the bathroom, putting her in clothed and building up to putting her in for a bath. It might also help you gauge whether the seat itself is uncomfortable or if it's the fact of being in the car that he hates.

It is awful, you have my sympathy. DD was so bad we ended up putting TV on a tablet on the headrest - in the Night Garden etc. It was only the thing that helped really until she moved to the bigger sest

I could have written this 🫤 this was us last week