coping with a 22month and newborn after 2nd c section - advice please

[foxy1]

hello everyone

i have a 22 month old and had another baby boy 10 days ago by 2nd c section. My husband has been off on leave for 2 weeks which end this week. He has been great and will really miss him when he goes back to work. Should I ask him to take another week off?

As I have had a 2nd c section I have not been lifting or picking up my son which he finds strange ( cot, high chair/car). He loves his baby brother but I have felt strange having to split time between 2. I am breast feeding and am finding that I am doing alot of this - feel guilty that not spending time with DS1. I have also had mastitus - hot cold flushes, dizzyness and aches and pains. This has really knocked me out and makes it harder to cope. I also feel very sore from the c section.

I am just thinking what is the best way to plan/ fill my days with 2. I can't drive for 6 weeks and we haven't sorted out double pram yet so would need to wear carrier and push pram. What sort of things would you do and how should I plan my day. My mother died before xmas and so have found this difficult. Felt quite emotional. would appreciate any advice/tips. When husband goes back to work will have to lift son but hope that I don't do any internal damage.

Thank you!

Can you teach your toddler to climb into his highchair and cot himself with the help of a chair? I did this after a c-section when I had a 14 month old as well and found it really helped minimise the lifting.

Don't know what finances are like but have you thought of getting a postnatal doula to help out whilst you recover?

Mine loved books, so reading is a good activity when you're needing to feed at the same time and CBeebies is a life-saver sometimes

foxy in similar situation got a 2.5 yr old dd and 2nd dd is 17 days old and was a 2nd section, dh went back to work yesterday and so far not been to bad dd1 has meals at small table and chairs so don't have to lift her.

got friends popping in most days just to take boredom level off. Also do you have park near you we went for a walk yesterday dd2 in pushchair dd1 walked fed ducks took small ball to park she loves to kick and not to strenous on my scar (have a mild infection in mine at the mo)that i can play with her.

Also in the evenings i get all our clothes out ready and breakfast bowl/plate etc ready on kithen side so that we all all dressed and fed within a hour or so of getting up. Do you have any friends that could pop in or pick you up i started driving again on sunday as it felt okay and drove a couple of weeks after gaving dd1 but did have friends whose little ones at preschool/school that offered to pick us up to go out and help look after the girls.

Finally we have resorted to cbeebies/nick jr etc at feed times (i'm bottle feeding though)won't kill them in the short term, have to say counting down till 16th april when dd1 starts preschool for 2 mornings a week.

hth xx

Thanks for feedback. Would be interested to know how your day is structured. i.e what time get up breakfast nap lunch tea bsth bed and when you fit your household chores in - cooking etc.

thank you

Dont be limited by 6weeks no driving thing. I was back behind the wheel after 10 days (2nd and 3rd cs) Check with your doc and insurance company. Do try to use those muscles by lifting a little as pain allows. Carrying your new baby in a sling is a great way of getting out and about, essential for keeping the blues at bay. My age gap was 17months between ds1+2 and 2.8yrs between ds2 and dd. I found sticking to my toddlers routine worked best to keep him happy so tried to fit my baby around what I was doing with my elder child. I found reading books was a great way of entertaining ds1 while feeding ds2 and the odd bit of tv helped too. Toddler groups and NCT coffee groups helped keep me sane and also ds1 amused and ds2 got used to being on the move and out and about. Cant deny it was all v v hectic at the time and again 3rd time around even more so but it gets easier I think!!

foxy my rountine is fairly similar to pre dd2 as trying to keep dd1 in her rountine so far goes a bit like this

5.30 dd2 have bottle nappy change an dh leaves for work

6.30-7 dd1 wakes up get her a hot drink and whilst she has that in our bed watching cartoons i grab a very quick shower
7-7.30 me dressed hair dried etc then dd1 dressed and she goes downstairs to play as shes happy to do this for 15 mins whilst i change dd2 and make beds etc

8.00 breakfast for me and dd1 wash up dd2 sleep in her moses basket

any washing i sort the night before and take downstairs an normally put in machine when i make dd1 drink so by now machine finished so hang washing out or tumble dry.

8.30-9.30 sweep through house and tidy up anything that needs doing as dd1 quite happy to play or 'help'me inthe morning

10ish dd2 have bottle

10.30-12.30 go into town/food shopping etc or if a day we have activity like toddler group go there

1 ish lunch amd wash up

2-4 d2 have bottle and play with dd1 or have friends round etc if nice normally have walk around 2.30 to stop dd1 dropping off asleep

4 start preparing dinner normally dd1 has nick jnr at this time and dd2 seems to be awake so normally out her on playmat as dd1 understans not to step on her!!

5ish dinner for dd1 nad me dd2 in moses basket wash up striaght away

5.45 dd2 has bath (not every day) followed by dd1 bath as dd2 lays on changing mat on bathroom floor whilst i do dd1

6ish downstairs bottle for dd2 and milk for dd1 and books dd2 upstairs in moses basket in our room by 6.30

6.45 dd1 bed time

I normally then do any ironing and have a bath so that i can sit down by 8 for a couple of hours. DH can be home anytime between 3pm and 7 in the evening so if he is home he'll fit in if not he'll eat his dinner when he gets home. I do a big clean at weekends polish etc but hoover upstairs most days in the morning and flic k a duster round a couple of times a week but as dd1 is in helping hase she has empty tin of polish and duster and follows me this is normally in the 8.309.30 bit of the morning.

Obviously not every day like this but generally how it runs this afternoon made cakes with dd1 as to cold to go out and now she is playing with her kitchen and dolls and doesnt want me to join in so I get a chance to mn for a bit

apologies for typos on ehanded typing whilst settling dd2