A 17 month old - lots of questions!

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OH and I have just been matched (adoption) with a beautiful 17m old. Having never parented before, I've got loads of questions about what we might need and wondered if anyone could help me?

• Are muslin cloths still useful for babies of that age, or no longer necessary? Don't have any and don't want to buy stuff we don't need
• I was planning to use the IKEA flannels as reusable wet-wipes - is this a silly idea?!
• I want to look into cloth nappies but absolutely no idea where to start with sizes/brands etc. I'll probably start by just buying one or two second hand because he's used disposables his whole life and might not like another style. He's in clothes for 9-12m still if that helps with sizing - where do I start?
• Do I still need a baby monitor? He'll be in with us for the first while, then move into his own room. What age are they useful until?

What kind of medicines do I need? I've got Calpol, anything else? He'll be bringing stuff like towel, plate, cup, baby sleeping bag etc from Foster Carer, but I need a comprehensive list of all the baby-care stuff I'll need that they won't be bringing!

Op - congrats! A fab journey for you all to begin on!

Dd2 is 19 months and of course all kids will be different but things we find useful -

A toddler carrier so she can walk as much as possible but can pop her in it when tired.

Bubbles, sticker books and small animal figures are her fav toys. We buy the latter in charity shops and car boots as they tend to go awol. Books come from there as well.

A grobag / sleeping bag -"she is an escaplogist and this tends to mean she cant climb out of her cot.

A stack of facecloths or old towels cut into squares. We take a few out in our permanently stocked bag with a waterproof bag from Ikea filled with snack pots. She loves her snack trap ( bought from a pound shop)

Ikea cutlery and plastic bowls

A shower curtain under her booster feeding chair as she still creates quite a mess at mealtimes.

Its a great age! Full of questioning, exploring and discovery!

Congratulations!

In the adoption situation, bear in mind that you are likely to get at least some behaviour that is much "younger" than the actual age, related to change and settling in with you. I'm inclined to agree that setting up the long-term bedroom and routine straight away is probably for the best, but yes I'd expect to be up a fair bit at night at first.

very best wishes!

Thankyou SO much everyone, overwhelmed at all the advice and good wishes . It's such an exciting time, especially as he's going to be joined by his 4 year old sister too didn't mention it earlier as always a bit paranoid about being outed but can't help myself! Advice about children that age is always welcome too - the 17m old just seems much more of an unknown than the 4 year old!

Just to ask a few more questions:

• someone mentioned a booster seat for sitting at the table, is that instead of a highchair or just for later once he grows out of the highchair.
• thanks for all the input re. disposable nappies - I think I might just aim for re-usable wipes at the moment and then graduate to reusable nappies once we've got into a bit of a routine! He'll need familiarity for a little while anyway.
• Foster Carer says he currently uses a gro-bag at the moment, I've also bought a cot duvet and pillow too - is it worth keeping them in case he stops using the gro-bag eventually?

Thanks again everyone, and thank you so much for your good wishes

Oh and thanks for pointing out about putting him straight into his own room - we hadn't thought about the two changes perhaps being more upsetting. And good point about having a chair in his room for night wakings - going to try and get a bean-bag as there's not much room in there and we can always move it down stairs once he's past that stage.

I'd keep the duvet, I imagine the gro-bag stage won't last too much longer. My DD is always really warm so we switched her to a duvet last summer (15months-ish) and she's learnt to kick it off when needed.

I would imagine he'd be happy sitting at the table now with a booster seat so you might find a highchair isn't necessary, can you ask the foster parents what they're using? Other suggestion could be a little table and chairs (again, ours in from IKEA!) for him and his sister to eat at together sometimes. we find ours really useful as can move it into the garden when it's sunny, the kitchen for baking etc.

Double congratulations on your new additions. What an exciting time!

I don't have any advice, it's all been covered above, but just wanted to congratulate you and wish you all the best with your lovely new family

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I haven't read through the full thread yet so apologies if I am repeating anything anyone else has said.

With regard to reusable wipes - flannels are perfect for this! I use a mixture of homemade and just plain old wilko's flannels.

Cloth nappies - if you are able to access the cloth nappy library that would really help you, some are come to meetings - some can help you via postal loans - link is here. Also, fb pages - I found Cloth bum advice helpful when I was starting out.

We still use a baby monitor at 17 months - my dd2 has only just started sleeping through most nights but still like to know that if she awoke for any reason I would here her.

Muslins, she likes to run around with, oh and they are still useful for when giving calpol, etc.

Again congratulations!! So happy for you all!!

*hear not here

I've a 17month old (and 2.10) the main thing I'd say is don't underestimate how much the little one will understand. So show them where things are - shoes, snacks etc and ask them to fetch them, mine loves a bit of independence and to be able to 'get herself ready' wave a shoe at her foot while I dress the big one or myself, get her own bowl out for breakfast etc.

You must be so excited 😃

Thanks again everyone, it's so lovely to hear all your encouragement OH and I are absolutely delighted. I'd love to go out and buy lots of bits for them but I know they have so much from FC already, and I know our time will come! I'm hoping to buy them a few items of clothing each though - I know they'll want familiarity for a little while but it'll be nice to put them eventually in something that's not passed on or from FC!

I know this is a vague Q but what is the average weight for a baby of his age? I know he's on the smaller side (4+ nappies, 9-12m clothes) but forgot to ask FC and wanting to buy a toddler carrier in case it's needed!

It's so lovely to hear from you all, thank you so much

Mines around 12kgs but I'd say she is big so.prob 10 kg if is quite little.

I think toddler carriers are pretty standard so I wouldn't worry about weight.

Im really pleased for you, even though you are a stranger its such lovely news.

My DS is 20 months and its all a great age but Id expect him to be shy with you for a while, for him that bond might take a while. Sitting and looking at books together though is so lovely.

Thanks doesnt

Also, do I want a structured toddler carrier or a sling like one? Or one of each?!

Don't get one of those rucksack toddler backpacks, they are huge and heavy and hard to get on. I've got a Kibbi as its super adjustable but something like a toddler Tula has good reviews if he's big enough.

I second not getting a rucksack neither of mine like it and its nuisance we only use it if OH is carrying them on a proper hike.
Id join a sling library now go and explain the situation and see what they suggest.

If your planning to get a pram I'd look for a decent umbrella at that age as he will.soon be walking but its still good to have the pram option sometimes without it taking up all your boot space on a day out.

Op - I mentioned a booster chair. Our dd now uses one instead of a high chair. Our kitchen I quite small so it takes up less room.

Congratulations! My kids are the same age- you will have your hands full .
I use the ikea flannels- they're great for nappies and I also keep them in the kitchen for post-meal clean up! I don't use Muslins anymore, just flannels- also keep boxes of tissues everywhere for runny noses!
Just wanted to point out cloth nappies are bigger than disposables so you might need to size up in some clothes, especially tight fitting ones. Factor in an extra load of laundry at least every two days.
Second what a previous poster said about a 17 month old understanding loads. Mine will follow (or refuse to follow!) simple instructions like "get your shoes please", and "let's go into the bathroom now." A little praise and hand clapping goes a long way for encouragement. Good luck!

OK, will contact FC and ask about highchair

I know Leb, we're preparing as much as possible whilst simultaneously knowing there's really no way to prepare!

Good to hear that little ones understand lots - we were thinking of putting their pictures on their bedroom doors so that they could see themselves every time they go in - thought this might help the older one in particular but also seems like it'll help the littl'un too.

Eeeek, I really cannot wait!

Could be worth checking the current sleeping arrangements for the kids. My LO absolutely cant sleep without her older brother in the room as they have shared since she ws 6 months and go.to bed at the same.time. Its about 100 times worse in new surroundings. Esp as in new surroundings he starts to want her too, they are in affect each others security blankets. Still watching them kissing goodnight through the cot bars for 30min is super cute as I'm sure you'll see soon enough.

Think about storage in their rooms for toys and clothes too. I think it would be nice to have a mix of closed storage, so drawers or boxes for tidying things away, and open shelving where you can keep things they've brought with them in plain sight. Don't underestimate the power of a familiar object of comforter.

Congratulations to you all.

We have a tula carrier and we love it. At this age though we find we use it less compared to him walking or a pushchair and he is easier in a back carry now. I havent mastered the art of putting him a back carry alone, DH holds him but Ive seen someone stand their toddler on a table to strap them in. DS is used to them as we have used one since he was tiny.

Congratulations!

I don't think it's been mentioned but teething powder and/or anbesol liquid are useful for teething pain.

My dd is 15 months and she loves to help so we give her a wet wipe after meals to wipe her own hands or the tray (and also do it ourselves!) and she is so proud of herself. Also explain what you are doing rather than just do it as their understanding is far greater than their ability to communicate and talk so it can be easy to for example just change their nappy without telling them first or start undressing them etc. My DD reacts so much better when we explain what we are doing first, and get her involved "looking after" the nappy or socks or whatever

He should be fine from now on in a booster seat instead of a highchair. Carrier - find your local sling library on facebook and go to their next meet up. We have an ergo which is good.