How much do you let a 7-year old off the leash?

[Tinker]

Have just been called the 'Meanest mum of earth'. 7 year old daughter plays out in the street with neighbouring children. I feel this is quite brave of me but believe she must have her independence/get a bit more streetwise etc. However, she comes coming in saying can she go to x's house? I don't know x so I say 'no'. Just now it has been can she go to y's granddad's house? I know y but not the granddad. I'm sure he's lovely - which is what I told her - but I don't know him and I don't even know where he lives so she can't go - told her that as well. This heralded much expected red-faced tantrum about how horrible I am. Would everyone else have done the same as me? Or am I being over-protective?

Message withdrawn

God yes - you are totally in the right, Tinker! I certainly wouldn't let a seven year old go alone to visit some old bloke I've never met before and didn't even know where he lived. Not overprotective at all, and one day she'll laugh at what a ridiculous request it was.

I wouldn't dream of allowing my 7yo ds even play outside either let alone visit a stranger - how do you then differentiate between strangers and people you don't know? My ds has been to play with his friend at friend's grandads house but it is basically where his friend lives.

Nope - not overprotective at all!! My 8 and 6yos went out the front this morning - on their scooters and they are allowed to go as far as 2 houses either way from our house - so your DD would think I'm really mean

DD1 says I'm the meanest because a) I won't let her have a mobile phone (all her friends have one, so she reckons!!) and b) I won't let her go out on her own (all her friends do apparently!!).

my 7 year old plays out in the street, we live in a very quiet cul de sac, but he would not be allowed out of the street or to sanyone's house who I didn't know.

I am very often the meanest Mum on earth - today especially!!

How did the wedding go? Don't want to hijack this thread, but let me know?

Thanks for the back-up. We would go stir-crazy I'm afraid if she didn't play out. Garden not suitable plus a terraced house so have to go through it to get to it. The kids outside continue to knock for her even when she's in bed, it would be a nightmare trying to keep her in and constantly saying 'No'

lilibet - I've not been yet - it's in July!

Tinker, I'd have said no too, you're not mean, you're right.

My dd 8 was invited to sleep over at friends house 2 weekends ago. Because we moved schools and this friends mum works I don't know her atall. I feel she put me in embarrasing situation by inviting my daughter and although I really wanted to tell he I would feel uncomfortable because I didn't know her I made up an excuse about us being busy. We have snce had her dd to tea because I thought that would be a way to get to know family but a grandparent picked her up and I had to offer her my phone no-ie she never asked for it or where we lived. My dd was upset she didn't go on the sleepover but I said it would be like letting her go to a complete strangers house. It was worth a few tears rather than worrying myself sick. I know she probably would have been fine but thats not the point is it ?

Not overprotective at all. We dont let our 8 year old play on the street although plenty of children are out there playing. Tbh I am sick of them as noone supervises them so they are constantly causing trouble!

I think you were right to say no for the two reasons you gave your dd: You don't know the grandfather and you don't know where he lives. I also think giving your dd reasons was better than saying a straight 'no'

I have done exactly the same and generally discourge lots of house visiting.

Even if I know the host neighbours well enough to feel ok about them, I ask for a phone number, address and/or walk my 10 year old son round for the first visit. I ask if it's ok for my son to come in for a while, to make sure the invite is a genuine one and not wishful thinking on the children's part.

My 11 yo dd has a nice friend who invites dd over for sleepovers. The problem is (and I genuinely feel horrid for saying this) that her mum within a few weeks of a new relationship has the boyfriend living with them until it fizzles out. Also the mum (who I do really like) gets very drunk quite a lot very regularly and smokes. I do try to encourage her friend to come to ours instead which she's pretty happy with so I give them a free rein here (ie. stay up half the night watching dvds, treats, take outs for tea etc.