Anyone catch the Jeremy Vine show Tuesday 1/6? Book about kids and nice manners

[Soozi]

Found this very interesting. Basically this woman has written a book on teaching kids to behave. She came over really well and said that she doesn't profess to be correct all the time but was spurned to writing the book because many parents lament about lack of advice. She said it was just notes on how she'd done it and how she could take her kids anywhere without fear of tantrums. People then contacted the show giving their tuppence worth with many saying that the woman lived in the 50s and 60s and that she should let her children live a little.

It seems to me that those who spoke against her opinions were the ones that would benefit the most from reading her book. Maybe I'm old fashioned or perhaps just in need of some topical debate? Anyone else catch it?

www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1129882,00.html

ds1 is messenger boy in his class as his manners are food!

he he
wont last long, he is only 5!

lol wish his manners did relate to food! they are GOOD! I m3eant

Cod, I love you ! Marry me, you are the only person on Mumsnet with more typos than me!

no really

I am sue I w in the prize..!

bloody teachers eh?

RE Japan. We went on holiday to Holland and had a great time at Easter. But the one thing that irritated was the general lack of manners. No please or thank you, no orderly queuing, no parents encouraging kids to 'take turns'. Fine it is their country and how I feel about it doesn't matter a bit, but it did make me realise how much I do like good manners.

yes I am wuite strict on mine as remant form teaching.
My kids are not allowed to say "no" to me - so ds2 barks " no thanks"!!

And appols up front for the thousnads of polite and wonderful Dutch people that I have now slighted by my over simplistic caracature of their wonderful country

friend here today told her son to get his shoes a nd he said " no you d o it"
bloody hell! and she di!d

And I bet you were never allowed to talk about your mother as 'she' were you??

'She is the cat's Mother' was the answer. Had to talk about her as 'Mother'

Kids will always play up some more so than others. As a nation we used to be pretty tolerant but I think that is becoming less so, combined with the me first attitude that prevails now sparks are bound to fly.

Believe me, phone ins like this are set ups. I've actually been on R5 and they have deliberately set it up so that they get abusive callers. I refused to go on R5 (I used to go on as a journalist on a mag I worked at) because of this. The presenters would actually deliberately provoke personal attacks on studio guests and sometimes it was very upsetting. I have also been asked to say deliberately offensive things on air myself - ie I was called when Edward and Sophie got engaged for a feature they were doing about how they were so boring and would anyone care. The researcher said to me "go on, put the boot into them and make fun of them" - as I was representing a big publishing company I thought that was inappropriate, so instead said something along the lines of, "I suspect that this couple have deliberately and rather cleverly cultivated a low-profile image which some people might think a bit dull because they don't want the constant media scrutinity that goes with being controversial or what the papers might call interesting." This clearly was NOT what the presenter wanted/expected to hear because he said, "So you think they are really boring do you? Is that just because you are so boring that nobody would want to marry you?"!!!!! I pointed out that I was also getting married that summer, but was really angry and in retrospect I wish that I had said, on air, the details of what his researcher had begged me to say. Grrr... this happened years ago and STILL makes me angry!

OMG, I am naive then. I feel really annoyed about this now. All in the name of upping the ratings. I'm off to do one of my Mrs Angry from suburbia emails to the show.

On our trip to the US I was pretty amazed by the appalling manners of the kids there and these were kids from affluent families. The parents didn't seem remotely phased by the kids' behaviour either At a park in Tribeca a 7 year old was hogging the one slide by swinging on the handles, ignoring the queue of kids waiting. I eventually asked her to let the other kids (including DD)have a go, only to be told that "they have to wait their turn, I'm not going to be finished for a long time". Sure enough she stayed on the slide for the 15 minutes we were in the park with her parents watching approvingly a couple of metres away.

That's the kind of incident that winds me up, couldn't care less about tantrums etc. From the artcle in the Times I imagine this is the sort of behaviour the author is referring to as well...

Marialuisa,I agree with you, I don't think that good behaviour has anything to do with having money, or not!

Having good manners is based on respecting others. If we don't do that then society suffers.

You only have to look in the local hospitals that have to put up signs telling people that they will not be allowed to get away with physicaly and verbaly abusing staff! I'm sure that sort of thing has always gone on, but it seems far more common now.

I've lost count of the number of times ds1 has had people push him out of the way so that they can get on the bus first. I used to comment loudly on people with no manners but now ds1 shames them all by himself and tells them "Mustn't push people!" It's a sad day when a 3yr old has to teach an adult about manners.

yep, have to say mannerless old ladies are one of my pet hates.

The park incident made us realise just how strict we are with DD about turn-taking etc as she kept saying "that girl's mummy should take her home because she's not playing nicely".