So you've promised your kids a treat...

[Posey]

...and one of them behaves so appallingly they don't deserve it, what do you do? Not like say an edible treat, as obviously you can give it just to one. But if you've promised them a trip somewhere, but one of them just doesn't deserve it. What do you do?

depends (a) how bad the crime committed was, (b)how near (in terms of time) to the trip taking place and (c) how special the trip is. We need details!!

Any chance of getting someone else to look after the badly behaved one while you take the other one?

ejt

Must admit I don't think I'd have the bottle to cancel a trip if it had all been planned. Would need to sort out some kind of punishment - don't know how old the child in question is, but you could ban them from buying a treat there (wherever the trip is), which would be the end of the world for my 5 year old!

Its something that crops up from time to time and because dh works from 4pm, if its an after school thing, then I can't leave ds (its usually him!) behind.
The one specific thing I was thinking of was I recently said we could go to the cafe and have hot choc and a cake that afternoon. Ds was then fairly horrble, tantrummy, whingy, generally being fairly objectionable. Dd fortunately at 9 is fairly understanding of our need to be consistent and withdrawing priviledges(sp?) in order to help ds's behaviour, so I think on that occasion we didn't go (I took dd at a later date). But what do you do if you have a younger or less tolerant other child?
Just interested.

FWIW I don't think I would cancel a big treat, like to Whipsnade or the beach, but good idea about them not getting a treat while there.

ah yes, a small trip out that's easily cancellable, yes I would cancel if ds1 (5) had been a pain. Ds2 is only 2 so wouldn't mind anyway - everything's very flexible in his mind so cancelling something wouldn't mean much! Ds1's greatest joy is shopping (you'd never guess he had 2 Mummies ) so the threat of not letting him spend his pocket money when out and about is usually enough to kepp him well behaved!

Message withdrawn

Depends on what they've done but I would always give a clear warning and a time, so if you carry on doing xyz then abc will happen. If I threaten like that I follow through. But I'd try not to penalise other child.

If I had promised them such a treat and it was a no-strings attached treat - as in, not dependent on good behaviour - then I would carry on with the treat (as it was independent of behaviour).

I would punish the one damned annoying kid in an individual way.