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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Can my Ex's new partner have my children unsupervised and without me knowing?

13 replies

Doll123 · 27/05/2016 15:56

Is my Ex's new partner allowed to have my children without my consent and unsupervised. They don't live together or anything.

OP posts:

mummytohpm · 27/05/2016 15:58

If it's in his contact time with the kids then legally yes I think his partner can have them - he doesn't need your consent and you do not need to be made aware I don't think.

Original poster

Doll123 · 27/05/2016 15:59

It was in his contact time but he had to work so we agreed that they stay with his parents.

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 27/05/2016 16:02

Yep. You really do only have his goodwill that he won't leave them with a partner.

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FeckinCrutches · 27/05/2016 16:04

How old are the children and how new is the partner? I don't really think you can do anything about it.

Original poster

Doll123 · 27/05/2016 16:06

Ages are 2 and 1. Less than 6months.

OP posts:

mummytohpm · 27/05/2016 16:06

He doesn't really have to agree to leave then with anyone. When it's his time it's his decision, just as when it's your time it would be yours.

FeckinCrutches · 27/05/2016 16:11

I can't see the problem.

caroldecker · 27/05/2016 17:12

When he has them, he can leave them with who he likes - you can only complain if there is a genuine safeguarding issue.
Would you feel the same if he paid for a childminder or used a nursery?

EquinoxBloom · 27/05/2016 17:24

He can do what he likes.

Would you leave them with a friend for an hour sometimes to babysit? Do you call him first?

PippaFawcett · 27/05/2016 17:27

DH and his ex used to have an agreement that they got 'first refusal' on time with their DC if it was during the other persons contact time. Within reason of course. Would it be practical/possible for you to do something similar? If not, as other posters say, I don't think you have any right to tell him who he can and can't leave them with.

kiki22 · 27/05/2016 18:41

You have no say. I would be fine with it for an hour or so but not a full working day especially since they are so young I wouldn't want them left all day with anyone I don't know id have picked them up and kept them until he got back

MTPurse · 27/05/2016 18:44

Do You get permission from Your ex every time you leave his dc with someone?

Lilacpink40 · 27/05/2016 18:48

You could ask brief questions about the girlfriend, such as "does she have experience of looking after young children?" but he wouldn't have to answer. He may do though and it could be reassuring. Would he want to leave them in potential danger anyhow?

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