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Original poster

What should I do???

9 replies

cane · 15/01/2007 22:23

DD1 (2.6) has been potty trained since Boxing Day - so, three weeks or so. She has been dry at home for 2 and a half of those weeks. we haven't had any accidents for absolutely ages and she's brilliant, always tells me, very responsible and always asks for help if she needs it.
She goes to nursery for 4 hours on a Monday and Friday. Every time she has been to nursery since christmas she has had an 'accident'. As far as I can see it has not once been her 'fault' (IYKWIM), nursery says - I didn't get her to the potty on time, I didn't get her jeans down fast enough, etc etc. Today she came home with poo on her knickers (that she was wearing), a pair of pooy knickers in her bag, and a bag of sopping wet knickers, tights, skirt. I was told she hasn't had any accidents but had pulled up her knickers without wiping her bottom. She's 2. Most 5 year old I know can't wipe their own bottoms. Why was she doing a poo without supervision. Why TWO pairs of pooy pants? Could understand once, but had to wipe her bum properly when she came home. What the hell is going on and what the hell should i do and why am I reacting so furiously to this? I am telling my daughter she can trust these people to help her with the potty, and they are turning me into a liar. Sorry so long but at a complete loss as to what to do. Should i pull her out of nursery? Have totally lost confidence in them.

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ThisTime · 15/01/2007 22:29

BUMP

Original poster

cane · 15/01/2007 22:34

If someone did the same to my 95 year old granny I wouldn't stand for it - so why do nursery staff think it is ok to do this to a 2 year old? is it just this nursery or do they all do it? Not even the first incident of this kind - when she was in nappies they left her in the same one for 8 hours...had such a plausible excuse i let it go, but just don't think i can this time...

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bogwobbit · 15/01/2007 22:36

I think pulling her out of nursery might be a bit hasty but I certainly think you should have a good talk with them. You need to make sure that what they are doing is as far as poss, consistent with what you're been doing ie how often do they take her to the toilet, is it regularly or only when she says she needs. If its the latter, it's quite possible that because she hasn't been trained for very long, by the time she actually knows that she needs, it's almost too late and by the time they get her to the toilet / potty, it is too late. My dd is 35 months and has been trained for about 6 months and her nursery took her to the toilet every half hour at first just in case. I thought this might have been a bit of overkill, but it worked.
If your daughter is trying her hardest to be a 'big girl and use the potty' but the nursery is letting her down, it will just sap her confidence. I also agree that it's far too much to expect a 2 year old to wipe their own bum.
Hope you get something sorted out.

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Greensleeves · 15/01/2007 22:37

to hear yet another story about incompetent lazy nursery staff. It's completely unacceptable, a 2yo child shouldn't be going to the toilet without proper supervision. Substandard care.

I don't know what you can do other than change your childcare arrangements or have a very strong word with the staff. Does she need to go to nursery on those days, is it because of work?

2shoes · 15/01/2007 22:37

I had a slightly similar problem with dd's sn school. Just can't understand it. surely no one would expect a 2 year old to do it them selves. I would say something. poor thing will end up very sore if not worse.

Original poster

cane · 15/01/2007 22:41

Greensleeves, - no :-( I have a 6 month old as well and need some time with the baby, as well as it being good for her to have a bit of social time without me. As she is starting 'proper' nursery school in september the idea of pulling her out now is really tempting...
thistime- thanks for the bump!
Boogwobbit - I know what you mean, but honestly - she is so good and can hold on for a good 20 minutes from intially saying I need a wee wee, so I just don't understand it.

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bogwobbit · 15/01/2007 23:04

Cane, if after talking to the nursery you're still unhappy with how they're dealing with this, I would certainly be tempted to take your dd out of nursery even if it's for a couple of months. This will give you time to look around for somewhere else, maybe even a playgroup might be suitable if there is one nearby, as most of them will take children once they are fully potty trained.
It certainly sounds as if they're not treating your dd particularly well.

hotandbothered · 15/01/2007 23:12

Have you talked to the head of the nursery? If not they need to know how incompetent their staff are. If you have already tackled them then I would be tempted to give up on going there as what else is substandard in their care? Your dd sounds fab and certainly needs more support from them or she may decide that potty training isn't worth the hassle and regress
Good luck in getting it sorted.

Original poster

cane · 16/01/2007 13:09

just an update - spoke this morning to them - the manager said she knew nothing about any of it as she was in the office, and DD1 key worker said she just got so excited she wet herself. Said she had no idea how poo got on her (twice). I am not pacified but going in on Friday and will try to work out a plan to take this forward. Still very GRRRRR

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