Can you train a child to be dry at night or does it just happen?

[Gemmasmummy]

My dd is nearly 3 and has been dry during the day for 6 months, however she is still in nappies at night and the nappies are usually quite wet. She also wets the bed during a nap, if she has one. Nappies aren't a great hassle, but I thought she would be dry at night by now - is this normal and is there anything I can do?

The fact that she wets during her nap as well as overnight means she is not physically ready to be dry yet.
Most children are between 3 and 4 when their kidneys and bladder are mature enough to go right through sound sleep and all night, and quite a lot are even older than that.
I don't know the precise anatomical details, mind.
The "training" aspect is more to do with small boys, eg ds in his time, waking up dry in the mornings and having a big relaxed wee in their nappy, because they can!

Yes it is normal and nope..you can't......and it will happen when she can do it.HV told me it is a physical thing...they just cannot do it until they can

ds did it at about 3 and a half
dd did it at 20 months
nephew did it at 24 months
neice did it at 5 and a half
friends son did it at 7

just to give you some idea of the scope

Gemmasmummy, my dd is about the same age as yours and has been dry during the day as long with no sign yet of being dry at night.

I asked my uncle at Christmas and he said my cousin was dry at night by about 2.2, cue shock, horror! However I then asked my dad and he said my brother wasn't dry til about 4... phew!

I am happy to read that it is best just to wait and see, have no idea how to go about night training.

It's something that just happens when they're ready. There's apparently a hormone which kicks in and which suppresses urination overnight, and until that happens there's nothing really that you can do.

Dd is 5.8 and still not dry at night - it's no big deal, she'll get there when she's ready. The doctors don't start getting concerned about it until they're 7, so there's a long time for her to get there yet!

Not training, but we tried a couple of methods that did seems to ease the transition..

Firstly, I would take my dd for a 'dream wee' at around midnight, where you take them out of bad still asleep and sit them on the loo and gently and quietly prompt them to have a wee..usually the coolness of the seat will result in an impromptu wee. Is they then wake up with a dry nappy then after a week or so, you might want to try them without.

I then put a plastic mattress cover on her bed and when she seemed to be dry I put her in knickers instead of nappies. She rarely woke up with wet knickers (maybe twice) but it made a difference to her when she did to feel wet and uncomfy and so she was more motivated to have a wee before bedtime as time went on.

Also, obviously, no drinks for at least an hour before bedtime whilst they're getting into it. My dd is four now and does have milk before bed but hasn't wet her bed for many months.

Have taken the plastic mattress cover off now btw - not the nicest things you could sleep on!!

DD2 wasn't dry at night till 6. I asked GP about it and as a result, the school nurse came round one evening to chat to her about it. She gave her a reward chart for all the little things she could do towards getting dry at night namely:

1)No big drinks before bed, just little sips
2)Always go to the loo before bed even if she thinks she doesn't need it
3)Helping to change the bed linen in the night if she wets the bed
4)Wiping herself down with wet wipes in the morning so she wouldn't smell at school the next day.

We stopped that very night with the pajama pants/pull ups (which had been sodden every night) and it worked really well. Whether it was someone else talking to her about it that did the trick, I don't know but it worked for her anyway - she only wet the bed twice in the following couple of months.

Don't know if this would have worked had she been much younger though - who knows.

Forgot to say that school nurse said that lifting a child at night for a wee wasn't a good thing to do as it didn't develope the ability for them to wake themselves (I think this was the rationale behind it, IIRC).

Having said that though, I don't know many people who didn't lift them for a wee at night. I did with DD1 - we didn't with DD2 because she was soooo angry and violent when we tried! Guess she really likes her sleep. When we initially tried her without a nappy at night, she didn't even wake up when she wet the bed. Yuck.

I'm yet to get DD3 dry at night (she's 3.4) but her nappies are sometimes almost dry anyway so i guess i should do it soon.

Blimey - isn't it easy to write an essay when avoiding cooking tea. sorry!

Perfectly normal. She doesn't sound ready if she pees during a nap , do you still have to prompt her during the day or is she independent. ds had just gone into a mid height bed whenh h decided to night train at almost 4 and it was way too hard to lift him out but he has rarely had an accident. They do it when they are ready as apparently a hormone has to kick in to make them more sensitive to wake up if they need to go. Anytime between now and 7 is "normal".

Thanks everybody. From what you say I don't think she is ready to ditch the night time nappy yet. I might try bringing her bedtime milk forward so she has chance to go to the loo before bed. We are expecting another baby in May so I won't attempt anything for the next few months, just see what happens.

DS was 5.2 before he was dry at night. We tried at about 4.5 but he just wasn't ready and we had loads of wet nights. then all of a sudden at 5.2 he was just dry every night. There is a hormone that switches on when they're ready.Pointless to try and train before then IMO

so glad to read this
my DS is nearly 5 and his nappy is full in the morning
my DD is 2 1/2 & i took her out of nappies last night - woke up dry

friend told me I couldnt hold back DD just cos DS wasnt ready
I said DS would have to have a week of dry nappies b4 he could come out - day one (last night) was full as usual

he isnt bothered now

just reassuring to hear others with older children as I feel people think its my fault & I should be "training" him

I really don't understand the point of "lifting" your child. If they don't wake up for a wee they're not ready for nappy free nights!

my dd was dry by day at 2.5y
she took another 15 mths to be dry at night
She started waking early or in the night for a wee, rather than sleep through and wet a nappy. Since then she's been dry at night.

My ds was dry by day at 3 and dry day and night within 2 weeks.
they vary greatly there is no "norm"

MistressMiggins you could be me!!

My ds 5 in March is still so wet at night he was dry at 2.9 but his sister 2.4 has been dry day since 2 and nappies always dry in morning, hummpphh sould take her out of them now then?

Maybe talking to HV getting a talk would be good

DD is 4y9m , was dry in the day from 24 months (including during naps) but still wets at night, although no longer wears nappies. She can go a month or so completely dry ad then relapse. Over Christmas she wet almost every night - we have a couple of reusable bed mats - and only last week started being dry again, with one accident in last week. I don't think you can do anything about it - lifting, with holding drinks, etc don't really work. We praise DD like mad for being dry, but ignore the wet - it isn't really important and it'll come with time.

tonight is DD (2 1/2) second night without a nappy
see how she goes

DS is in bedtime pants (those 4-7 pullups) and likely to be for a while - hes not bothered
stayed at friends Sat night - her DD is same age as DS - "why is DS wearing a nappy"
we explained & both children were happy - DS is not ashamed which is a good thing

I dont know anyone in RL who's child is still in nappies so good to know not alone

You probably do know some children the same age who are in nappies at night-time, MrsM - it's just not something that their parents talk about very often. I don't tend to talk about it to anyone in RL, partly because it's nobody else's concern, and partly because dd would be embarrassed if she thought anyone else knew.

The figures are something like 1 in 5 five-year-olds, 1 in 6 six-year-olds, 1 in 7 seven-year olds are still not dry at night time, so the chances are that there are a number of children in your ds's class who are in the same boat ... they just don't talk about it.

I too am relieved! DS is 2.8, been dry in the day since last July, but my issue is poo in the nappy overnight as well as wee. Every morning he does his daily poo in his nappy! I'm not worried about it at the moment, but from time to time ponder how to deal with this one....! I think he does it as he wakes up or just after, and I'm not prepared to go into his room at 6/6.30 to catch him before he wakes and poos.....!!!

My ds is 4.4 and I am not lifting him at night, it's pointless. He wears pullups but I have started leaving the door open/bathroom light on so if he wakes up he can go for a wee. When we start getting dry pullups in the morning I'll stop putting them on him.

DD wet the bed last night
I didnt lift her
should I carry on tonight?
should I lift her?
should I put her back in pull ups?

shes 2 1/2

and DS nearly 5 pullups were wet as usual
now not worrying thanks to you lot
hes not bothered