7 yr old scared to go for sleepover because he wears pull-ups

[chocolatemuppet]

So my 7 year old has been invited to his friend's house for a sleepover / birthday party this weekend. He's been excited for weeks. But as the weekend has drawn closer, he's getting more and more upset, because he wears pull-ups - still wet at night. He's absolutely mortified that the other boys might find out., to the point that he sobs before bedtime. He really wants to go, but is now saying he may not stay. He will feel he's missing out though.

Just wondered if anyone has suggestions? I've suggested the following -

1. put the pull-ups in his sleeping bag, so he can put them on in bed / take them off in bed. He says they rustle.

2. speak to friends parents - they will usher him to the bathroom to put them on. But again, he says they will rustle when he walks, and he doesn't want the parents knowing.

I'm all out of ideas, just wondered if anyone had any better suggestions?! Thanks in advance!

Not useful for this weekend but when DS1 was 6 he was desperate not to be wet at night so after some research I bought an enuresis alarm. It's a really loud noise that wakes them when wee hits a sensor clipped to pants. They have to turn off themselves and then get to toilet. After 3/4 weeks he's been dry ever since (now nearly 10).

Not useful for this weekend but when DS1 was 6 he was desperate not to be wet at night so after some research I bought an enuresis alarm. It's a really loud noise that wakes them when wee hits a sensor clipped to pants. They have to turn off themselves and then get to toilet. After 3/4 weeks he's been dry ever since (now nearly 10).

Not useful for this weekend but when DS1 was 6 he was desperate not to be wet at night so after some research I bought an enuresis alarm. It's a really loud noise that wakes them when wee hits a sensor clipped to pants. They have to turn off themselves and then get to toilet. After 3/4 weeks he's been dry ever since (now nearly 10).

Sorry for multiple posts, app kept telling me it hadn't posted

I haven't had a chance to read the whole thread but my dc have had sleepovers with pull-ups but i've spoken to the parents first. They have put them in the bathroom for dc to put on with last wee and then get straight into bed and then advised them where to dispose in the morning. My dd was happy to tell her close friends but ds isn't.

You may or may not get desmo from your gp-it will depend whether they prefer you to go through the enuresis clinic first. It also doesn't work for everyone.

If he's nervous give lots of reassurance that lots of children still wet at night at 7 and even older.

Does anyone have a link to the absorbent PJ bottoms? Would be perfect for DD.

My DS managed ok at beaver camp in a pull up. I got a drawstring wash bag to put it in so it wouldn't look conspicuous to take to the bathroom, then he could put the wet one in the same bag. We used a onesie too so the top of the pull up pants couldn't be seen. I did tell the Beavers leader, but DS managed it himself pretty well, she just reminded him of the plan. He's nearly 9 now and still not dry so we're waiting for a referral too

We had this very situation with a friend's Dd. I dealt with it. She got dressed in the bathroom and I told her to pop it in bathroom bin and when she came out I'd get rid of it asap so nobody knew.
My dc wouldn't care they are pretty aware that everyone is different for various reasons but the girl was uncomfortable so I dealt with it privately.
May I suggest a onsie as well. No chance of it being seen the same way it would be in separates.

We had this situation with DD at 7 (she is dry at 8 so don't give up!) and I gave her a washbag with one in and told her to take it to the toilet at the last minute. It seemed to work out fine AFAIK. I warned the host mother in advance I think but it really didn't seem that much of an issue in the end.

Both of my boys are bed wetters ( my 7 year old is not dry at all and my 12 year old is an occasional wetter )

My 12 year old takes a dry nites in his wash bag and puts it on when he brushes his teeth. He wears baggy pjs with long basketball style tops and he puts a pair of boxers over the top of the pull up to have an even smaller chance of someone seeing it. If he uses a sleeping bag I normally shove a spare pair of pj bottoms in the bottom of the SB as sometimes the dry nites leak and he can then discreetly swap over before getting up

I second trying out Desmomelt at home first. Didn't work for DS at all and it's really not good for your body to use it very often.

Actually - sorry to be the voice of doom - the other restriction with desmo, which may be new, is that you can't have anything to drink for an hour before you take it, and then not for eight hours after it. This is because there have been a few rare complications with fluid retention.

Remembering to stop drinking altogether an hour before bedtime was an absolute pain in the arse for DD, as has not being able to have a drink when thirsty in the night. It might be really tricky to implement as a one off for a sleepover.

Granof4 Do you have a link for those absorbent PJ bottoms please? They sound like they might be really useful for DS.

Found them here: Absorbent pyjama bottoms.

I take 9-10 year olds on a residential every year - and every year at least 1 child is not dry at night. As staff we always know, and the standard advice is for the child to get dressed for the night in the bathroom, and we discreetly collect rubbish the following morning - and replace the sleeping bag with a dry one if needed. We have never had any issues around teasing, and we are EXTREMELY alert to the possibility.

As the parent of a bedwetter, I know how difficult it can be - and how it really isn't under the child or parent's control as you can't 'will' a hormone into action. Alarms work best for those children where the underlying issue is a failure to wake up in response to 'full bladder' signals. However, where the 'down regulation of urine production' hormone hasn't kicked in, alarms are of no great benefit, because if you produce urine at the same rate day and night, waking up every time your bladder is full can mean some very, very disturbed nights. For DS, for example, we lifted him at our bedtime at 11 pm ish, by which point he would already have a wet pull-up. We would change that, he would wee again, then we would hope that the pull-up would contain everything he produced until the following morning. This was frequently not the case, so we changed sheets and duvet many mornings because the pull-up simply couldn't contain the quantity of liquid. Had he used an alarm, he would have been awoken at least 3-4x a night, every night.

Luckily it resolved itself round about the age of 10.

I've had quite a few children over for sleepovers with my DC who were wearing pull-ups at night at that age or a bit older. Each time the parent has talked to me about it beforehand and we've agreed a plan to make sure that there is no embarrassment. Our usual answer is that the child goes upstairs to get changed in the bathroom whilst the children are engrossed in something else (usually something on TV). I act surprised when they come down ready for bed and then suggest that the others go up and do the same 'Oh, did you decide to get your pyjamas on whilst you were upstairs going to the loo, what a good idea'.

I have a small cupboard and a bin in the bathroom anyway so I put a nappysack/carrier bag in the cupboard so that the child can put the used pull-up in that and place it in the bin. Clearly this arrangement is explained beforehand via the child's parents so I just need to point out where the cupboard is.

None of the other children have ever realised what's going on. I have noticed though that the pull-ups sold as 'Pyjama pants' seem to be less bulky and noisy.

A friend's DS got lots of help from the GP with this issue at about 7 so I would suggest a visit to the GP if it's starting to bother him.

FWIW, there's not a lot of help to give them. As a PP says, their bodies either produce the hormone needed to stay dry or they don't. We avoided all alarm systems etc as that just seemed to be focusing on it as an issue. We were really indifferent to it - just changed sheets when needed, had pull ups on stand by at all times and made no fuss. DS took well over a decade to grow out of it and had enough other health issues to cope with, without this adding to them. He was a little bit embarrassed by it, but not too bad.

Thanks again for all the fantastic replies. Some really useful info! My older ds (now 13) was wet until he was 8, and my friend's ds is also wet - and he's 10. Strangely, my daughter was dry at 2, it's definitely a boy thing.

I'm not worried at all from a medical perspective, and happy to let nature take its course. It is a hormone, and I know it will kick in at some point. I'm a teacher and have taken groups of kids away, so I know it sometimes goes on into teenage years too. In fact, you only have to look at the supermarket shelves to see how many packs of pull-ups they sell for age 8-15.

He's decided to go - I pulled the 'parent' card and spoke with the little boy's parents, they were lovely. Parents have been invited round there for a drink after the bowling party, so I'll call round then and help set him up. He seems a bit happier, though I know he'll be nervous.

I found them by Googling absorbent pj bottoms for kids.
As I said they are pricey .
Vivantage has/ had 6-8 year old wide bottomed navy for £37.99 plus 7.19 shipping I'd £45.18 .
8-10year old slim for the same price .
Pjama are a Swedish firm and have their own website. Their prices are higher but you have a wider choice including a shorter version which might be better if it was for a girl as the full length ones are quite boyish looking.
You might be able to find a better price online.
Hope you manage to find a solution and that your son has a great time.

Grrr. So DS has just come home saying that he 'doesn't trust friend's dad'. I said don't be silly - he's lovely! DS then told me his friend knows he's scared of sleeping over and wants to know why!! He doesn't know the reason (as far as I know!!) but still - not helpful!

If the dad's the issue (he probably just doesn't know him as well?) I would fudge it and say you'll tell the mum but ask her not to tell the dad (& make sure the mum is briefed on that so dad doesn't take over!!). DS definitely can

feel find with some people knowing and not others. On cub camp, he wanted to know that it was leader x who would deal with it - despite getting on well with all the leaders, for example. Luckily, leader x was good with that when I sold it to him as a show of huge trust on ds' part!

And you and ds together can think of something credible for ds to say about being nervous ... maybe he watched a scary (age appropriate) film recently and it creeped him out (cool points)? Or he's worried he'll miss a certain pet? Or that x other child will be annoying?

Or just shrug it off and say 'Dunno what that was about. I'm fine now" 7 yo boys ime aren't known for their complexity in interpersonal relationships ;-)

Hope the sleepover goes really well for him