My DC is now 6 months old. Both sets of Grandparents live quite far away. To begin they came to us quite regularly and obviously are very excited and happy to have a Grandchild. When babies are tiny they’re happy to be passed around to anyone, and FIL was able to make her laugh a few times. He loves her very much and it’s clear he feels he has a special bond with her.
On Sunday we arranged to meet them half way at a pub for Sunday lunch, as PIL have not seen her for a few months. Now I have issues with taking a baby for a meal anyway as she’s too small for highchairs (we have one at home but the pub one was way too big for her) so she has to be held throughout the whole meal by someone.
So FIL was holding her, and she begins to cry. It’s clear to me that she isn’t happy being held by him as she has forgotten who he is. I ask my OH to please take her from him to stop her from crying in the restaurant. I stupidly said ‘she can cry as much as she likes outside but not in here’. To which FIL exclaims that he’s finished his meal and will take her outside! I’m obviously very uncomfortable with this as she’s clearly not happy with him. I get up to go out with them, my partner, his Dad and Mum all tell me it’s fine, to calm down and finish my lunch.
I sit down and try to finish my lunch feeling utterly powerless. Meanwhile I know my poor baby is screaming her head off outside. She does not cry usually, she’s so calm. I keep pleading with my partner to please go and check they’re OK, and eventually after about 10mins he does, and takes the baby from FIL. FIL comes back and states that ‘she has a good set of lungs on her’, so I know she’s been seriously upset.
Partner calms her somewhat, but I have to take her to the car to feed her feeling pretty distraught myself and not really wanting to return to the restaurant.
I cannot stop replaying the moment he takes her out of the pub. I feel like I failed her and I should’ve gone out with them regardless of how ridiculous it seemed. My insides hurt thinking she was so upset for so long.
On the other hand – FIL was screamed at for 10mins so do you think this will stop him from doing it again? Baby seems totally fine now, I however am not and wondering if I should say something to him to prevent it happening again. I have been with OH for 13 years and I always got on OK with his parents until we had a baby.
I told my OH that what he did was not OK as she can’t remember who he is. We have a family event in a few months and I’m now dreading it.
So am I being clingy with PFB or was FIL out of order?
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Am I being clingy with PFB or was FIL out of order?
25 replies
LunaDott · 17/05/2016 09:25
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