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Can you talk yourself out of having another child?

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Writerwannabe83 · 11/05/2016 11:46

I have a DS (just turned 2) and the decision to have a second had been fraught for about the past 6 months. We decided to go for it earlier this year but unfortunately I miscarried at 5 weeks.

One minute I feel excited and happy at the thought of having another baby and then the next minute I feel petrified at the idea.

I angst about it all the time, I swing from yes, to no, to yes and to no again on a regular basis and I'm constantly being told I'm overthinking it. A colleague has told me to just stop thinking about it otherwise I will talk myself out of it altogether.

I just feel so confused about it all.

This morning I decided not having a second baby was the best choice in case I died during childbirth Confused

Is having these doubts and worries normal?

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splendide · 13/05/2016 05:49

I sometimes think my reasons are all just really selfish. But then I look at my house and think where would we put another baby? And it would be hard to afford a year off again.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 13/05/2016 07:33

Good point Splendide.

When I was pregnant with DS we put £300 a month away for 10 months in order to provide back up funds for maternity leave. My maternity package was actually really good (NHS) but we did have to dip into that £300 to enable me to have just over 10 months off.

We couldn't do that this time round.

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Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 13/05/2016 07:34

*£3'000 I mean.

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Snowrose1311 · 25/05/2016 11:37

Hi OP,
I'm in a similar situation, I have 3 sons, lovely partner, my youngest child is 16 months, I'm already broody for another! But for some of the reasons you've described, I've decided not to go for it. I know lots of women cope with a toddler and a newborn, but everyone is different and I really don't think I could. I don't want to have another baby and then be over-tired, stressed and struggling (and make the rest of my family miserable). It breaks my heart to think that DS3 will be my last, and that I'll never have a DD, but I've made up my mind to try to concentrate on enjoying the children I already have.
Everyone's situation is different, perhaps for yourself you could consider leaving more of a gap? Wait till DC1 has just started school before ttc DC2? Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do x

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