DD, nearly 4, as I mentioned in previous message, is still having quite frequent 'no 1' accidents, although she seems to have the hang of 'no 2s'. I just wanted more advice. I've tried reward systems - no good. I have decided to go 'cold turkey' with real pants. She has been wearing ordinary pants at home, but my mother, my aunt, and my daycare lady(who are the other main people she sees) don't want her out of pull ups until she is 'really trained'. Nor does my ex want her out of pull ups until she is 'really trained'. But HOW is she going to get 'really trained' if she's always in pull ups when she goes out? I'm going to put my foot down with daycare lady and Granny and emphasise that DD needs to be in real pants. I really think that if she wore real pants, all the time, for a couple of weeks, she'd get there. She's nearly there as it is. For example: tonight on the way home from a lengthy day at her aunt's, during which time she only did wee in the toilet once, she yelled out from the back of the car: 'I need the toilet NOW'. I told her to hang on until we got home and, bless her heart, she managed it, even though she was wearing a pull up. But she is still far from reliable. In every other way she is a 'normal',indeed, I think, a 'bright' child. But she is way behind her peers with the toilet business. I wasn't all that worried but suddenly it's dawned on me that she's starting kindy in two weeks....I don't want her to have embarrasing experiences because of her wetting. What can I say? She gets very involved with whatever she is doing, gets a bit absent minded (like her mum!) and that is generally when she has an accident. Typically, her accidents go like this: she will say 'I've done a wee' when she hasn't actually done one, but is ABOUT to do one, and I say 'right, quick march to the loo', but sometimes she can't hold on and pees on the carpet.
Perhaps I just need to be more assertive about her need to wear proper pants at all times except bed (and actually, she hardly ever wets in her pull up at night anymore). One problem is my ex: I know he has her in pull ups all the time she's with him. She's even said 'I'm not supposed to say anything....but Daddy puts me in nappies!'Again and again I told him that she'll have a hard time getting trained if he puts her in pull ups during the day, but I know he ignores me. Indeed, she often comes back from her weekly overnighter with Dad with nappy rash, because he obviously lets her sit around in wet pull ups (she has, thank God, progressed enough to ask to be taken to the toilet for poos, and if she has a poo accident, which is rare, she always wants to be changed straight away).
QUICK FIXES are needed. Plus, perhaps, tactful ways in which I can tell her daycare lady and my mum that she really needs to be in pants in the daytime....
HELP ME! I'm so anxious about this. Not because I particularly care if she wets her pants every now and then myself....I just don't want her to be teased or ostracised at kindy, and I don't want the kindy teacher to think of her as a 'problem child' because of the bladder incontinence.