What was the best piece of advice ever given to you on becoming a parent?

[mrsnoah]

Or if you didnt get any advice, what would you pass on to someone else?

Never leave the washingup till the morning.

Listen to everyone's advise - smile nod - then do exactly what you want to/intended to do in the first place

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My Uncle Len, upon meeting my beautiful angelic ds1 for the first time.

"Give 'im a good clout every now and again".

babies cry alot and sometimes there is nothing you can do about it.

Ds had terrible colic - this made me feel much better about it.

So many people said 'oh so many people will give you advice, just smile, nod and ignore,' and then went on to give me a piece of advice

Mine was from my mum and i quote 'You are not stupid and you will not hurt this baby, relax, love her and all the rest will come naturally who cares about all the rest of the crap'

Some babies just cry.

Saved my sanity with constantly screaming ds. Everyone else was asking me all the obvious questions, and of course I had checked those. I was frantic. There must be something wrong. My mum said "some babies just cry" and I accepted that there was really very little I could do, stopped fretting, held my yelling ds and watched the telly with the subtitles on. I am still rather desensitised to the sound of a baby crying though

It's all just a series of phases, as fast as they grow out of one thing, they start another.

gottit today actually from my bestfriend after 14 weeks of sleep deprivation saw me cursing my dd under my breath when she woke in the middle of the night and then i felt guilty for being horrid ...

You're not a bitch, silly or bad -- you're human and adapting to someone needing you 24/7. Don't be so hard on yourself!

You can never spoil a child with too much love.

So said my aunt when my dd1 was born - I never forgot that one

when worried about not being able to love a 2nd child as much as the 1st my great aunt said 'each child brings their own love with them' awwwwwwwww

I would pass on to anyone else:

Lower Your Standards

And forget trying to be perfect, do your best and live with being good enough.

they'll grow out of it ... true of nearly anything {grin}

Keep trying, just because it didn't work first time, try in different situations

Second, it isn't that different to training puppies (Aagh, don't all hate me!)

MW at the hospital, after ds1 was born, said "think of yourself as a feeding machine" - and I really was, constantly feeding the boy.

She also said to relax, babies pick up on if you're tense and nervous when holding them.

My mum also said "don't get angry with him, he is innocent" - helped a lot when ds1 was waking up every hour through the night and I was beyond desperate for sleep.

Agree with the 'everything is just a phase'.
This has kept me sane (well partly) from 10 weeks to 10 yrs old.
Also applies to dh it would seem

You have two years to prime the child's immune system with as many germs as possible.

(I have no idea if that has any scientific basis but it made me feel great).

Enjoy them while they're small. I know it's obvious and a cliche but they really grow so fast, i've tried so hard to make sure that I give them attention and prioritise around them. Also you can't spoil a baby by cuddling them (well not before 6 weeks) my first dd I put her down every time I'd fed her so she 'didn't get too used to being held and wouldn't settle on her own' when I had my ds I cuddled him constantly for 3 full days! It was a really lovely time. I did try again with my third but was a little more tricky with two toddlers to care for!

My advice: Don't even think of taking a baby home without colic drops - perfect for those middle-of-the-night emergencies!

No matter how bad things get - remember "this too shall pass"

I used to chant that to myself during the longest, darkest, loneliest nights when DD1 was small and I was pacing the floor with her. It has also got me through various stages since and I hope will stand me in good stead for the teenage years to come.

Ditto, I completely agree with "enjoy them while they are small" - I don't always enjoy mine (who does) but I do try and hold on to the sense of wonder and amazement of having these gorgeous little people to take care of for a while - it is so transient and so special.

Glass of wine at teatime

On bad bad bad days chuck em in bath by 4 pm

Get the disco music on and get dancing

Leave the niffy nappy around 5pm for the old man coming in.

And more wine

Oh, sorry, just to add another one which is "always trust your instincts". I think as new mums it is so easy to forget this and lose confidence and hand over our power to others be that our own mothers, doctors, health visitors, well meaning friends, or whoever - but if we listen to that little inner voice inside ourselves, we do know what's best.

remembered another brilliant piece of advice.

If the baby are getting to you (e.g. with constant screaming) put them in the cot, they'll be safe and go somewhere you can't hear them for five minutes and calm down. They won't come to any harm and you'll be better able to cope.

From my midwife - she was great.

It saved my sanity when ds was colicky (or now when he's driving me insane ) - time out for parents, fantastic.

Seriously though is good and stops me from getting too wound up and losing temper.

One for when they're a bit older.
Have very few rules-but stick to them.

a hv (who i didnt particularly like) apart from helping with the child tax credits, said a happy mother is happy home!