Little billy no mates

[magnum]

My lovely dd will be one in a few weeks. She is a really happy baby, the only problem is she hasn't got any friends. I don't know any other mothers with young children and have tried going to m & b groups but there is not one near me that's on at a good time. How important is it for a baby her age to be mixing with other babies? I feel like she's really missing out. There's a space in her baby book to write in who her first friend is and so far its blank!

TBH - I never really felt that my children were that interested in other children at that age, in fact almost the opposite - they viewed them as getting in the way of mum's undivided attention!

I would say probably from 18mth-2years its nice to mix, mainly because the children start to learn about sharing etc. However at this age they are still parallel playing. I don't think they need to mix and play properly together until they are 2.5-3 years old or so.

On teh other hand how do you get enough company during teh day? I think that is probably a more important issue

My pediatrician asked me when my son was 5 mo. if he was around other babies. I told him no we just moved here and I didn't know anyone, and he said I really should find something. I don't know if that was just something he felt important, or if there was research saying that it was good for babies to socialize. I now have Colin (9 mo.) in a music class and playgroup that are both at lousy times napwise, but he has so much fun, he doesn't even notice he's tired. This may sound selfish, but having these things for Colin is wonderful for me. I found lots of friends here that I didn't have. And I have 2 & 1/2 hours when he leaves my side when he sees other children and never comes back till the end, making it very easy to watch him. He laughs and plays and babbles at the other babies the whole time, and loves it. On the other hand, there is one baby at music and one at playgroup that always go off on their own, looking overwhelmed and tired, so I wonder how much they really enjoy their time.

DSs only had friends at that age because we stayed friendly with our ante/postnatal groups. DS2 never really had his own friends until he started nursery at 2. Before that it was just DS1s peers and siblings. I don't think they have to necessarily socialie with babies of their own age but a M&T group would be ideal as there's lots going on - the difficult bit is finding a convenient one like you said. Is it just "not a good time" because of naps etc or are you at work? Would it be worth tweaking your DDs routine to fit in it?

Put your name in under "first friend"

magnum, I was in a similar position. I struggled to get out and about afdter dd was born and consequently she had no baby friends. When she was 13 months I finally plucked up the courage to go to a music group for babies, we both loved it and now, at 29 months she has lots of friends. I think she was about 18 months before she really enjoyed seeing other kids though.

ds is 8 months spends his life with 2 year old girls (lucky little man!!) so far, I personally don't hink it's the be all and end all for them to see other babies at one year of age.

Magnum,the same thing has crossed my mind too.

DD is 9 months & the mother & baby groups locally are on days that I work,& she doesn't go to a nursery or childminder,so she doesn't see other babies there either.

However,my sister nannies 2.5 year old twins,who are obsessed with DD & we have started to meet them at a singing group on my day off.It is not really my sort of thing-I don't have a musical bone in my body,but DD loves the twins & vice versa.I suppose she is a bit young for singing really,but it was the only thing available.

So I suppose DD's 1st friends would be the twins.

I might have to try and alter dds routine to go to M&B groups as the ones near me are on in her nap time. I really need to go somewhere for my own sanity as much as hers. Music groups sound like a good idea as she does like music. I've also heard of tumble tots, but don't know how to find out if there is anything like this in my area. Does anyone have any phone numbers?

have a look at this

HTH

Thanks for that juniper, i've just entered my postcode and it has come up with an error message! Could someone else try it to see if its an error with the site or it just didn't like where I live

I got that too, just click on the list and it comes up with the regions.

Fantastic, there are a few near me. Have you been and are they good for a one year old?

I went with DS1 and he loved it

DS2 is obsessed with football and very physical so didn't feel the need with him. I didn't find it very good for making friends though but that could've been just our tumbletots.

Can your dd walk?
I just know they're supposed to walk. Plus there's usually a waiting list.

Are there any topsy turvey type groups in your local leisure centre? They're much friendlier IMO

At that age we took DD to swimming class and to Tumble Tots. She was also at day nursery 2 days a week. She did, and at just 2yo, still does love being with other children.

I don't think one year olds are remotely capable of friendship as we understand it. I agree it is more important that you have friends than she does. She just wants you at that age.

I think some babies like to interact with others though. And some don't. I just find when you take baby to groups etc.. it's good for you too and that's always a bonus for baby.

My dd has just turned one. When she was weeks/ months old we used to go for coffee with NCT group people etc. and she was always very shy and quiet. Over the last month I have been taking her to some sort if activity every morning and I have noticed a difference in her already. She just seems more at ease when there is are a lot of babies around her, crawling and wanting to investigate (!) and she is keen to find out more about them too. She still has her shy moments, and I'm fine with that if that is her nature, but she is also learning how to be socialble in her own way. Oh, she does have 'friends', well 1 girl her age and another about 6 months younger, I am friends with their mums so they will spend a lot of time together whether they like it or not! HTH

DD can't walk just yet, but is cruising and has taken 1 step on her own so it won't be long. Where would I look to find other activities in my area? i was thinking of swimming classes but the nearest pool that holds them is too far away (I don't drive).

Somne leisure centres, libraries and church/village halsl hold different acivity classes. The local library may be a good place to start - ours do a couple of sessions for parents and children with craft, singing and reading. Your HV/clinic may also have posters and leaflets around, or be able to tell you, where other thinsg might be happening.

Or try something luke Net mums site which lists things in your area.