Kindy starts in 2 weeks: DESPERATE need TIPS

[Caththerese1973]

Hi
my little girl, who will be four in March, is still not reliably toilet trained. She wears pull-ups to daycare and ordinary pants at home. Today I was especially disheartened because she had a 'no 2' accident which hasn't happened for months (although she explained to me that this was my fault, which it probably was, because I shut myself in the toilet so I could talk to my mother about my terminally ill grandmother without being interrupted - dd is having a 'phase' whe she won't let me speak on the phone. She was banging on the door and asking to be let in but I thought she just wanted me to get off the phone!).
I am worried because she starts kindy in two weeks and I don't want to send her in pull ups, or put the kindy teacher in a position where she has to change a four year old's nappy. I'm not sure why she is so resistant to getting trained. I am a single mother and one day a week she goes overnight to ex dp's: I'm sure that has something to do with it. As I said, she's pretty good with no 2s but still has frequent no 1 accidents. She's very articulate for her age and, I think, very bright: ironically, she can write the word 'poo' and quite a few other words, draws beautifully, makes quite clever craft things (as we speak she is cutting out and glueing a new dress on her baby doll). But she is definitely lagging behind on the toilet training front. It wasn't really worrying me but now kindy will be upon us in two weeks and I don't want my baby to be teased or to feel embarrassed because of her wetting.
Any advice? Any quick fixes? I'm DESPERATE now!

The quickest way would be to be brave and go cold turkey. Pull-ups at night time only. I had a similar situation with a younger child - pants at home, pull ups at the childminder. We only made it to fully toilet trained once it was pants only in the day time. ...oh and rewards at lunchtime if dry all morning and another in the evening if dry all afternoon.

hi Cath . i cannot agree more re going cold turkey. my dd will be 3 in march and i had tried potty training twice before ; when she was 2 and during the summer. it was a complete disaster and i gave up after advice given to me "dont stress she'll ask when she is ready!". and she did in dec but i waited to have the holiday to do it as i work full time. told the creche that dd would not be wearing any nappies anymore 2 jan onwards. spent the whole of dec talking about being a big girl and when she is 3 no more nappies at all (day and night) and dd was fine with that. father christmas brought some disney knickers which she loved. unfortunately because we were visiting friends and relatives i did not want any disasters so she wore a nappy when out visiting. then back home 28 dec and i said no more nappies at all. we had a few accidents then 2 jan no nappy for creche and i was nervous but still nappy at night. then on sat 6 jan dd did not want her nappy in bed so said ok but was apprehensive. was difficult to make her go to potty for a wee but we did it and the bed was dry in the morning. we have had a very few accidents ; so far 5 since 2 jan which i think is fine. i think it must confuse them if some times they wear nappies and some times not... only a matter of a few more days i reckon and all will be well. i would tell your dd "ok no more nappy"; she seems bright - like my dd - and that's why i despaired that sometimes she would do it on purpose not to go to the potty... it's cold and not pleasant to wee oneself in winter; makes one remember better to go to the loo fast next time . also there is the embarrassment factor of weeing oneself in front of friends (? or i am too hard?!) i do feel for you as the whole nappy thing really stressed me out... good luck.

rewards or little treats can be nice too; you could give very little rewards (pound shop is great for that!) and then maybe a big reward after a few days. praising works wonders! i was also thinking that my dd stopped doing wees on purposes when i stopped getting annoyed with her misses and treated them as an accident saying "oh nevermind, it was an accident wasn'it". and i could see but ignored her little nod meaning "no it wasn't; why aren't you getting angry with me??!!!". let us know how you get on. for me tbh it was more a case of me being ready than dd but dont tell anyone i said that!