You know that phase were children pretend to be a dog / cat / mermaid...

[LetThereBeCupcakes]

Is there anyway to... you know... chivvy it along a little?

Don't get me wrong, usually I'm all for indulging in imaginative play, and in many ways DS (3) wondering around barking is very sweet. Unfortunately, my two ACTUAL dogs are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

DS barks at the door (even if nobody's there), which makes the dogs bark. DS has been brought up with dogs and can do a fairly authentic sounding "RORORORO" bark. The three of them egg each other on and trying to get myself heard above the din is nigh on impossible. We live in an end terrace - our neighbours are lovely but I can't imagine they enjoy this racket!

DS wants to eat his food out of a bowl on the floor, which would be fine, except have you ever tried explaing to two labradors that the food in the bowl on the floor is NOT FOR THEM? Because I have. And they don't get it.

DS wants me to give him "commands" - like "sit" and "down". Every time he wants me to do that, the dogs dutifully obey, too.

The poor dogs are exhausted. DDog 2 is a rescue and only arrived on Thursday. He's probably thinking what on earth is this mad house he's ended up in?

Any ideas? At least how to stop DS barking (especially when there's nobody at the door!)

My DS is a cat - he's 13.

And how do you be an emu? Arn't they those non-flying birds that walk about looking bored?

I was a dog! I clearly remember making my throat sore with barking so was probably at least 4 or 5. Perhaps a bunch of flowers for the neighbours might be nice though!

proc I want to know that too! Are emus the ones that spit, or is that ostriches?

Our DD was 3 when she decided she would be a dog ..... at the time we were attending a friends 5 yr old party DS had been invited too. We got some funny looks (and I did not like my cheek being licked)

Emus wear waistcoats. This is their most important characteristic. There is also a certain amount of wing flapping to be done, and pecking, while extending your neck. You also have to go to the zoo to visit your relatives, and spend positively hours admiring them not doing very much.

I did say being an emu was quite low maintenance!