24 yo daughter's boyfriend practically living at our home.

[Annalou7676]

I have a 24 year old daughter who has been in her current relationship for nearly 4 yrs. over this time his staying over had increased to 4/5 nights per week... We didn't ever really agree this.. It's just kind of happened. Anyway, it's all got a bit too much, my husband and I feel we are living with another adult couple for most of the time. Daughter's boyfriend does contribute £80pm towards bills/food. They are currently saving money to move into their own rented home... However we think the BF is delaying things. It's far too comfortable and cheap at our house! I'm not in a hurry for my daughter to move out but can't cope with the constant presence of her BF. today we had a talk and said the arrangement wasn't really working and that we need to reduce the amount of time he spends at our home. As a result my daughter got upset and is not talking to is at all. I explained that if that they wish to live together they need to get their own home... We cannot carry on like this. It was all done very nicely, we told my daughter that we love her and her BF, suggested that maybe they stay at his parents house sometimes (she says she can't as he shares a room with his brother and she's allergic to his dog). Just wondering whether I should have kept quiet and put up with it for a while longer? Her BF is not particularly helpful around the house, spends all his time watching tv, he will help with clearing up after meals but never offers to help with anything else. Feeling upset because I've fallen out with my daughter. Xx

I think you are being very reasonable. It’s your home. Your daughter is 24. It’s time they both moved out to be honest. You stick to your guns.

I’ve supported myself since I was 21 & I really didn’t earn that much straight after uni. But it was enough for a little one bed flat in Berkshire (not cheap as commuter line to London) & my food etc. I was desperate for my independence. I’ve never really understood living with parents as an adult, I was so keen to build my own life & prove myself! And I love my parents who did always have my back if I was short a weeks shopping the odd month!

I've got a daughter that's 20 and her bf is 20
She moved him in slowly, stayed 2 nights then 3 and so on so fourth. I've given them both inspirational speeches. The bf has no drive he likes gaming more that work. My daughter she had a job but got ill and is on leave. I thought it would be good to give the bf 9 months to get finances in order, or he can move back to his parents house. Now why 9 months, well a child will spend 9 months in the womb, so essentially I would be giving him a chance of rebirth..... well the wife quickly shot that down and said 2 months lol. So basically if you are not strong and to the point in the beginning like I should have you just open yourself up to them staying longer than expected.