Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Holding the baby for too long?

38 replies

sepa · 07/04/2016 17:33

I have a newborn (5 weeks old) who is my first DC. I hold her a lot during the day as she fusses when she is put down. She is perfect at night time (maybe because I swaddle her).
I get told constantly that I will pay the price when she is older by not putting her down and that I will constantly have to hold her. Has anyone got experience of this? As the people who are telling me this have always put their baby down during the day so how would they know?

I do put her down during the day. Usually for an hour(ish) at a time but then tend to hold her for a few hours. I had a c section so we can't yet get out easily as I haven't recovered well after the op....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TeaAndCake · 07/04/2016 23:15

When your DC is a stroppy 15 year old giving back-chat will you wish you'd spent less time cuddling when they were a tiny baby?

Nope.

They're babies for the blink of an eye. Enjoy the cuddling. It's what babies are for!

ExpressTrainComingThrough · 08/04/2016 00:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kiki22 · 08/04/2016 09:35

Load of rubbish if you ask me and this is from someone who did not do lots of cuddling. DS was never a cuddly baby he liked to lie on his play mat or swing watching the world go by if I tried to cuddle him up he would cry for freedom I even had to feed him in his reclines high chair from 7 weeks, babies know what they need your needs held mine needed space it won't have any long lasting effects in my experience, DS is now 4 and loves to sit on my knee, snuggle up kiss, hold hands with whoever he's walking with and he's been known to give random people hugs if they speak to him.

Your baby will soon be going to school and you will miss these days more than you thought possible.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Families General parenting

GurlwiththeCurl · 08/04/2016 10:40

Don't worry, OP, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of cuddles!

DS1 put his head on my chest this morning, whilst I was still in bed, telling me that he loves hugging. Then DS2 came in for a hug as well. Both of them snuggled up for a couple of minutes and then went out.

DS1 is 26 and DS2 is 23! Years not months

neversleepagain · 08/04/2016 17:03

When our twins were in Scbu we were encourage to hold them, however we were also encouraged to let them sleep as they need uninterrupted sleep to grow and (in our case) get better as they were poorly.

I didn't hold my babies a lot, I left them to sleep in their cots. If they were fussy or crying I would pick them up, soothe and cuddle them and put them back to sleep. I never left them to cry. I also didnt let people pick them up if they were sleeping.

It worked for us and we thankfully had settled babies who didnt want constant picking up.

whattodoforthebest2 · 08/04/2016 17:12

DS2 is 21 and 6'3". He spent the first 3 years of his life riding around on my right hip (and it's played havoc with my posture) and I swear he'd have stayed there if he hadn't had to go to playgroup! He still loves a cuddle and recently told his gf noone gives him cuddles like his mum does. Bearing in mind, this is a boy who spent most of teens thinking he was a gangsta-rapper (and dressing accordingly!)

AntiHop · 09/04/2016 21:21

My dd is 19 months old. I was maternity leave for 9 months. She was in my arms or in the sling for hours each day. I didn't use a pushchair and almost every nap she had was in my arms or in the sling. Plus lots of cuddles when she was awake. After she learnt to walk, she was not clingy at all. Carry on as you are op.

WellErrr · 09/04/2016 21:23

Giving security teaches a child to be confident.

You can't show love to a child too much. It's impossible.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 09/04/2016 21:35

My 8wo DS is reasonably happy to be put down to sleep sometimes.

But bollocks to that, I'm taking all the cuddles I can manage. He's soft and gorgeous and I wish I could stop the clock. Cuddle as much as you want OP.

pointythings · 09/04/2016 21:57

My DD1 lived in a sling for the first 3 months of her life and until 2 would not nap anywhere but on me or DH. DD2 was much more independent but we cuddled her anyway.

They both settled in nursery like a dream when I went back to work and were both great sleepers.

Lastly, never forget that those cuddles are also enormously good for you - they give you precious endorphins that will make you a happy relaxed mummy.

Wolfiefan · 09/04/2016 22:03

My first child was a Velcro baby. I couldn't put him down. So I didn't.
He's now a happy and healthy 12 year old. We cuddle. But I wouldn't pick him up!!!!
Cuddle your baby. Sod the housework!!!

SummerHouse · 09/04/2016 22:05

After carrying a baby for about 4 months on a permanent basis in a sling, I would do things differently. Just ideally that sleeps would be in a mosis basket or cot.

Florentina27 · 10/04/2016 00:40

They need cuddles at this stage and there will be times when your DC will be tied up to you but that's because they'll need comforting( after vaccines, being ill,teething, growth spurts etc) which is perfectly normal. That little brain is not developed enough to know cause and effect and to know to manipulate you. Enjoy this moments as your dc will not want cuddles forever, I bet we'll miss it x

Flip

1 2