Baby's first night away from home

[Rubysmummy2016]

I never thought I would let my baby spend her first night away from home until she was at least 12 months old. And here I am, baby currently at her grandma's and she's 6 weeks old. I feel so guilty, I haven't stopped sobbing since she left nearly 3 hours ago, I feel like the worst mother in the world. She has been so hard to settle for roughly a week, she's hitting her peak with her colic I think and I just couldn't cope. I know this sounds terrible, and it hurts so much to say it, but I needed to get away from her. I didn't have a baby to palm her off on someone else when things got hard, I mean I was the perfect parent before I had children, I can admit I had no idea how hard this was going to be. But is 6 weeks too young to send her to grandma's for a night? Have I done the right thing?

I don't use baby talk with my kids either, but the word "trauma" is a complex and quite abstract one, especially when you mean psychological trauma!

I see you didn't use the word trauma in fact, so the point is moot after all :o

I agree with your that his feedback on liking sleepovers now, and sleepovers he remembers from when he was 2 or 3, is very valuable but I stand by the fact kids of 4, no matter how sharp, have no idea whether something that happened to them before they were 6 months old has traumatised them or not!

This:

Babies don't need to be away from their parents but sometimes parents need it and if that's what you need it really wont hurt anyone.

I agree with, with bells on :o

Parents should not feel bad about seeking help - and the grandparent having the baby overnight so the parent can sleep can be very valuable.

However if the parent cannot bare the separation from their baby that is equally fine - babies do not need to stay with their grandparents over night in order to have strong bonds with them in the future (some grandparents can be a bit bullying about this - lots of MN threads where a woman's mother or MIL is throwing her toys out of the pram about not being "allowed" the tiny breastfed non mobile baby for a sleepover or as a toy for a few hours) as long as the baby is being properly looked after, any help is for the parents at this point. Sleepovers don't directly benefit the child, or the child's relationship with the grandparents til they are a toddler (unless the grandparent chooses to make it an issue) but they can help a sleep deprived parent massively _(if they are able to sleep without their baby in the house - its not a failing not to be able to cope with the separation when the baby has been a part of your body and with your 24/7 kicking and moving reassuringly a few short weeks ago).

100% agree 😊 guilt and shame should never be a factor in any parenting decisions. Its hard enough without beating yourself up mummy guilt seems to be epidemic.

Oh OP - please don't feel guilty, it sounds like you need a break.

My friend left her 6 week old baby overnight last week with her own sister because she needed a rest. She dropped him off at 18.00 and didn't collect him until gone midday the next day.

She told me afterwards that she felt like such a bad mother.

She doesn't have a partner though so she has no regular help during the day and the colicky nights are hers alone to deal with, she never, ever gets any respite or help and I think that's why she needed her night off.

She said she felt completely rejuvenated after a good nights sleep and I hope you do too.