7yo DSD spat in her grandad's face

[postmanpatscat]

She was staying with DP's parents for two nights as arranged by her mother. This occurs about 2-3 times a year. They had a lovely couple of days, took her out for lunch, gave her an enormous Easter egg, bought her stuff etc. Last night grandad is lying on the sofa watching TV. Nanny says go and say goodnight to grandad. She goes up to him and says "I've got a surprise for you' then spits in his face. Wtf?!! They were so shocked they just sent her straight to bed. His mum rang later on, very upset and puzzled by this vile behaviour after a nice time together.

We know DSD does not have an easy time at home as her mum is anxious and stressed. She has teenage half sisters and the eldest is very ill. She is due to stay with us for a week from tomorrow and normally she is no bother at all.

DP is not sure what to do about this. We have discussed it at length and decided on sanctions (cancelled a planned sleepover at our house) but what on Earth makes a child do that to someone they love? She is old enough to know it is wrong and it wasn't done in temper.

Ok that makes mor sense!

I agree. An impulsive silly 'joke'. My 6 yo dd makes silly choices sometimes and soon learns. It's not like she did it in temper. I think you've way overreacted.

Sorry but for a 6 year old the punishment of cancelling a sleepover 4/5 days away is too remote especially as she has since been from Granny's to Mum's to Dad's. By all means have a discussion about how inappropriate this behaviour is.

Ok- I get it now. I think cancelling the sleepover was a bit heavy handed especially as it's a rare treat. But hey ho.

Feel for her, things must be tough at home

I can understand if she had done it in response to being told off or in a temper. But after a fun day and as a joke...I wouldn't even punish for that.

I would say 'oh DD that is really dirty, you don't do that even as a joke, say sorry to grandad' - that would be the end of it.

This happened here yesterday. DD1 (8) spat in DD2 (7)'s face. DD2 had said she'd give her a hug and didn't, so DD1 was a bit annoyed and spat at her face but it was all sort of part of the game?? She obviously had no idea how incredibly gross it is. I told her I think it's the MOST disgusting thing you can do, ever, and I don't ever ever want her to do it again, then we cancelled a 'midnight feast' we had been planning -for about 7pm-. I think she was shocked at how shocked we were and won't do it again.

-But then DH was watching football at the time and they bloody well spit every where so how the bloody hell is that ok? I hate footballers.-