Can you chew this over with me? 2/3 DC not putting on enough weight..

[poocatcherchampion]

We went to the HV today for the first time since mid January.

Dd1 is just 4 and weighs 18kg and remains on 75th centile where she has basically always been

Dd2 is 2.5yo and 13kg. She is on the 9th centile - having dropped from 75th when she was about 9mo. She is on the 9th for height as well. The interesting thing is she has not put on a single g since the last weigh in in January. Is that weird?

We are a bit worried that we haven't been paying enough attention to what she eats.

Ds1 is 5mo and was 5 weeks prem. He has gone from the 75ty centile to the 9th. He is6.6kg.

I am a bit surprised by all this as we have always had podgy babies. Indeed the older two are podgy and the baby isn't skinny. I need to do some thinking about what is going on - I feel a bit like I haven't looked after them properly - because it is two of them.

The easy thing is to feed D's more - but I do feed him often, although he fusses quite a bit in the day and normally the dds are there. Not sure what to do about weaning as he seems a long way from the signs for blw - because he was prem I guess.

Dd2 I guess we need to watch more closely what she eats and try to offer her more food.

I'm just writing this out as I need to think about it properly. I would be delighted for anyone's comments / thoughts. I might not reply til the morning as I will be in bed lying awake worrying

Thanks!

Read "my child won't eat" by carlos gonzalez. Its not just about children that won't eat, despite the title! If they have not lost weight then you don't need to worry. If anything just offer more protein and fat rich foods to the toddler. Most purees will actually be less calorific than breastmilk so I wouldn't bother with early weaning unless she seems ready for food. Then make sure it's things like cheese, avocado, meat, fish as well as veg and fruit and cereal. Its your responsibility to offer a healthy diet and their responsibility to eat it.

How as a nation will we ever encourage healthy eating when the focus of the first year or so and the bloody red book is about making sure babies gain weight. Every added ounce or ten in a baby is applauded. No of course they shouldn't be losing and failing to thrive. But how many mothers are made to feel bad when their baby move from the 9th centile to the 50th? How many mothers are made to feel guilty when their five month old is delightfully chubby? My HV even told me that the 50th centile was the average! It is not. How many of them are still telling people that sort of nonsense.

If babies/toddlers are fit and well they do not need perpetual weighing and monitoring. It sets up babies/children/people society for a twisted perspective about weight. Gain is good and then becomes bad - so stop encouraging the obsession with feeding and feeding so a baby gains and gain. A baby needs enough milk to thrive and to be healthy. It's a terribly mixed message underpinned by health professionals.

I had DS1 weighed three times. I was given incorrect information, the HV couldn't advise about breastfeeding (except it was the only acceptable option), didn't understand the chart, didn't set the scales properly, knew nothing about immunisation or anything else beyond the leaflet. I was expected to sit in a grotty clinic for an hour or so for my baby to be weighed, next to all the sick and diseased people in busy inner London practice. I did it once and it dawned - Why, just why.

My baby was growing, you know how you see their little toes creep to the bottom of the babygro and need the next size up, how they start to look less like a new born and more like a baby, how they start to smile. None of that needs a weighing machine. MIL was obsessed with the weight of the baby "have you been this week". It wasn't worth saying no so I just said "ooh yes, and he's gained four ounces". When she visited (about once a month) the first thing she said was "ooh hasn't he grown".

It's such a waste of time. It's such a waste of resources. The whole organisation of it is based on misunderstanding and in many cases incompetence.

If any mother thinks her baby isn't eating enough, isn't gaining, isn't thriving, isn't developing, all she needs to do is make a GP appointment and speak to a clinically trained doctor. If the mother is still not properly reassured and can quote evidence why - too often vomits, unnatural cry, not following an object, bit floppy, then you ask for a referral to a specialist paediatrician.

Just focus on being healthy. Don't get obsessed about calorie intake or weight.