so.. if someone wants to take your children somewhere

[blondehelen]

who pays?

About a month ago my niece(who is 18) asked to take my children to her college pantomine production (bit like rent a child!!) i agreed and they had a good time. Yesterday had a text asking for the ticket money because she is skint

i'd either

a) pay to get rid of kids

b) tell her i am also skint

Well if I asked to take my children's friends out I would pay.
I guess at 18 though money is tight and I would have given her the money for them tbh

think it is the time scale that has bugged me. It was a month ago. BTW she is 18 and has never made an effort to get a pt job.

it's a bit odd to wait a month really i'd be annoyed if my neice did that

Thanks for your responses. Think I might give her some of the money cos I know that if I don't my mil will. But going take off the money I gave her when she asked to take dd to the cinema and then didn't go. Will feel better about that

I would have given her the money in the first place and I would pay her now. It's only money after all.

I think as she is 18 I would give her the money as I remember being disoragnised and often skint at that age. I would also point out either now or if she asks again that if it is not something you had planned for them you don't intend to pay.

Tricky one though!

How much did the tickets cost?
I'd have offered to give her the money when she took them, tbh.
She's been a bit cheeky texting you about it now, but it seems like there's been a bit of confusion about the arrangements, and she expected you to pay all along?
If she offers to take them somewhere else then you can clarify the payment arrangement beforehand.

did she take your child to the pantomine for her benefit or the fact your child would enjoy it. if the former then she did pay for her own ticket.

when my neice take ds out i wouldnt dream of paying (because of her age 18).

bit chldish though to deduct the money. IMO

It was very short notice when she asked (about 24hrs I think) She even said to me a couple of days later " thanks so much for letting me take them" (it was a school night so wasn't sure) As it was a college production didn't really think about cost of tickets as thought it would have been a couple of quid like dd dance production. If it had been a professional panto would have def given money prior. She has asked me for £15.

If she invited them she should pay imo. If you ASKED her to take them, you pay.

She is only a kid herself and I would def pay her as she wont have any money of her own.

I always pay for things when my sister (22) takes my boys out. I would always let my parents pay for the boys though.

Like I said in OP. It was a bit like rent a child. She was expected to go for her course (its a performing arts college)and felt the need to a child/ren

If I take out other people's children I pay. Always have done, even when much younger and pre-children.

If someone asks to take out DD I will always offer or ask how much at the start.

She's maybe been too embarrassed to ask for the money and was waiting to see if you'd offer. I'd pay her.

I'd pay her as she is only 18.

I will pay her, as i said before. Unlikely that she is too embarressed, she is certainly not backward in coming forward. Rings me up to ask me to take her places if its raining if she can't be bothered to get the bus

At 18 I think I may not have had the life experience to think about the ticket costs. She sees you as an adult and that's that - it doesn't occur to her that you may have assumed she'd pay or that they're was no cost or even that you wouldn't have the money. Children think that adults have some limitless pot of cash and she is only just learning to become an adult.

So I'd simply explain it to her, but give her the money.