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Parenting

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Original poster

What do you do with your baby all day?

15 replies

iwouldgoouttonight · 05/01/2007 12:28

Just a question out of curiosity really - as a first time mum I'm always doubting myself! My DS is 20 weeks and during the day I tend to spend most of my time holding him, playing with him or taking him for walks, to shops, swimming, etc. All sounds great but I have very little time to get anything done around the house - if I leave DS while I try to cook something, clean the bathroom, etc he cries, even if he's in the same room and can see what I'm doing so I tend to give in and pick him up. He also will only nap while I'm holding him or pushing him in pram as I can't get him to nap in his room - although he's fine at night.

My MIL says I hold him too much and he'll get too clingy and I should get him used to entertaining himself so I can get things done.

What does anyone else think? I would quite like him to entertain himself but if I leave him he tends to cry - should I leave it longer before going to him? Or do you think he'll begin to be better on his own once he's older and can sit up/move around/etc?

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CantWaitForTheSnow · 05/01/2007 12:33

My lo was the same. Don't worry about it. It is fustrating at times, but they are so much easier when they can sit up. I used a playnest which was fab.

maisym · 05/01/2007 12:40

I carried my lo's around - it's true that lots isn't done but you'll find ways to cope with this. Enjoy cuddling your ds - it really helps his development as well.

TheArmadillo · 05/01/2007 12:44

my ds was so much better once he could sit up and move around.

You can't spoil a baby or cause them to become to clingy at this age. - ignore your MIL.

I think the trick is at this age doing what you have to when they're around and doing the rest when they are asleep or someone else is there to look after them.

HE will get better as he gets older.

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DetentionGrrrl · 05/01/2007 12:57

We play with his toys, read, eat breakfast/lunch, sometimes go for a walk/into town on the bus. I try and get housework done when he naps or after he's in bed. Sometimes i can clean up the kitchen while he sits in his high chair. He has to go from room to room with me as he's standing with support now (which means falling- ALOT!) and putting everything he finds in his mouth.

Ignore your MIL- it's none of her business. Would she rather you left him crying in a playpen and your house was spotless?

DetentionGrrrl · 05/01/2007 13:00

god, i read your son's age as 20mths. 20weeks?! tell her to sod off, he's teeny!

rookiemum · 05/01/2007 13:35

Before rookiebaby grew out of his bouncy chair we used to have great fun in the kitchen.

I'd put him in it on the table ( yes strictly verboten I know but I was in the same room all the time). I'd put on radio 2 and sing along and entertain him while I got things done. Best afternoon ever was one when there was a Sound of Music special on Radio 2 whilst making a banana cake.

He wasn't happy if the chair was on the floor and I think it was because he got bored, he seemed to like seeing things at my level.

Agree with the others though its not of your MILs sodding business.

Ceebee74 · 05/01/2007 13:44

My DS is 25 weeks old and I feel the same as you - my mum keeps telling me that we play with him too much () etc and he should be left alone to play. Though over the last couple of weeks, he has become much better at entertaining himself - he will lay on his tummy on the floor and as long as he is surrounded with toys, will generally play with them (usually involves stuffing them in his mouth!) for an hour before getting bored.

I imagine that when we were being raised, we were put in a playpen and left to our own devices and if we cried - tough - that is certainly the impression my mum gives me! Guess it didn't do me any harm but I don't want to parent DS that way.

Labradora · 05/01/2007 17:54

If I needed mine to self-entertain for short periods, I put them in the pram in the kitchen, put music on (nursery rhymes, jazz, whatever) with a great big book balanced against the handles. Other things that worked really well for mine was a baby gym (dangly things hanging down above them) or just lying on the floor on a mat/in travel cot/in leanback bouncy chair watching me potter around, sing/chat to them. If I had an unmissable job and baby was clingy I'd put them in the sling which left hands free to peel, chop, tidy, whatever.

notsogummyanymore · 05/01/2007 18:15

There'll be plenty of time for cleaning in the months to come! As everyone says the time passes sooo quickly. Take it from someone who used to be a clean-a-holic!

Original poster

iwouldgoouttonight · 05/01/2007 18:29

Thanks for all your replies - that's reassured me a lot!

Rookiemum, my DS hates being in his bouncy chair on the kitchen floor because he can't see whats going on - unfortunately our kitchen is v pokey so no room to put him on a high up surface, may have to think more creatively about how I can get him to see what's going on.

Otherwise I'll keep on playing with him and sod the MIL! Its amazing how you can be pottering along quite happily and then one person can put loads of doubt in your mind. Think she used to put DP in a pram and leave him in the garden while she did home baking!! I'd feel terrible doing that!

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Clayhead · 05/01/2007 18:32

I didn't put ds (3) or dd (5) down for about a year () and they seem pretty good at entertaining themselves now; I can hear their rendition of High School Musical as I type...

notsogummyanymore · 05/01/2007 18:37

My mum is always telling me she used to put me in the garden so she could do the housework too! Thought she recently let slip that she wouldn't do it if she had her time again! Hindsight's a wonderful thing eh? I've learnt to accept advice selectively. Smile and nod, and let everything you don't agree with out the other ear !

Ceebee74 · 05/01/2007 19:28

Lol at pram in garden - my mum kept telling me to do that with DS (and to buy a catnet) but I don't think I would have been able to cope with not being able to see (or hear) what he was doing!

bumbleweed · 05/01/2007 20:06

get a sling and wear him round the house as you get some things done

dd was really clingy like this and it is hard work - I dont agree with leaving them to cry at this age even though it seems to be the general wisdom of all ILs, friends and general passing aquaintances

cant comment on the 'he'll get too clingy' advice though as my dd was always picked up and is still quite clingy at 14m .... but it does get easier once they get mobile because they can entertain themselves for a few minutes at a time at least

mummynumnum · 05/01/2007 20:45

yep, leave the cleaning, ignore the MIL. I agree with Ceebee74, our parents must ahve just left us to entertain ourselves. My mum told me that I give too much fuss the other day. My answer was if a mother doesnt fuss over her child, what hope is there!!!

As for the napping. My dd was never very goos, but she is 26 weeks now and weaning onto solids has helped. Although, I still have to pretend to sleep in her nursery in the day to get her to nap and then slip off. . Sometimes I do sleep.

Funnily enough, dd went to nursery this week and she has slept in their cots 3 times everyday. Minx!!!!

You sound like you are doing a fab job and got priorities right!

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