Is ignoring bad attitude in a 10 yr old ok or is it just crap parenting? My DD is 10 and she is definitely hormonal she is always moaning and always whinging about something- her friends do seem to do alot and they all seem to have extended families with plenty of aunts uncles and gp's to spoil them. We dont have a big family apart from me her dad and her brother there is only my mum and dad and although they do their bit they don' t give her everything or take her everywhere so I can see compared to her friends at school who are always doing something exciting with relatives she doesn't have a fantastic life but realistically we cant afford to go ice skating, to see a London musical, nail bar or restaurant every weekend . She feels hard done by and wants to do what her friends do we try to give her what we can which is quality time with us. Her brother is autistic and my DH finds him really hard work and reacts by walking away so sometimes I understand life isn't easy for her. The way she speaks to us sometimes is shocking 'zip your mouth' 'make me' and 'no way' are her most used sayings at the moment and I have worked out she uses them because she knows she will get a reaction especially from my husband. They will argue for up to 2 hours and wham bam she has him exactly where she wants she wants attention and by using words and phrases like this to her dad she has got it good and proper. His pet hate is slamming doors and he tells her this every time so she storms off and slams a door he then gets even more wound up at the disrespect and the arguing starts again. If she says something rude he will shout at her about the fact she cannot speak to him like that , she has no respect, how dare you, think about how you treat me etc etc. She has an answer for everything !!! When she was about 2 she had huge tantrums and would scream and cry until we gave in to her demands we never gave in but DH would try naughty step constantly and she would run away we would praise the good things she did but to no avail so in the end I just ignored the screams were piercing and she would often make herself sick but they would be over and done with within 30 mins rather than 2 hours of back and forth when trying to disipline. This phase is exactly like the terrible twos just the terrible tens and I have taken to ignoring the rudeness and it works she shouts and screams at me and is very disrespectful I carry on doing what I am doing without rising to it and yes the shouting gets louder and louder and she then usually storms upstairs still shouting and screaming but comes down 10 mins later as if nothing has happened and she has realised just like when she was 2 that I will not react so there is no point in doing it. But 'other people' mainly DH and GP's are telling me she has to be punished for the way she speaks ie no ipod for a week, no pocket money, no tv but it honestly does not work. She doesn't 'like' anything too much she has no particular hobbies or anything so if you take something away or ban something it doesn't bother her because she just moves onto something else. My DH would like her in her room without tea till morning until she understands and where she keeps coming out he will put her back in last night again it went on for over 2 hours just like the putting on and off the naughty step but he refuses to just ignore as I am letting her get away with it and I am copping out on getting her to respect us. Any advice as what I should do. Ignoring is working but am I letting her get away with it but it is the only thing IMO that does work. The attitude is 100 times worse when DH is home because she knows he will react.