Does anyone have a 4 year age gap with their DC? What's it like?

[Mrstumbletap]

Could you give me a few pros/cons?

Is it such a gap that they just don't get on and have nothing in common? Example take them to zoo or theme park they can't go on the same rides?

Does one parent spend all their time with one and the other with the other? Does it ever feel like a unit of four?

Think I may want another, but the age gap will be 4 years, and worried that gap will be hard on the DC.

Would love your thoughts or experiences!

Just wanted to say thank you for the replies, I have read and re read them several times and they are really helpful.

I'm still undecided on a second, I do find one very exhausting mentally but also already see him growing up too quick and it makes me a little bit broody.

I think one being at school and me having the time for just one would work for my sanity, although you have to get up to do the school run! How on earth do you do that if you have been up with a newborn several times a night??

Knowing you can go back to bed helps. Imagine getting up with a 3yo too and no chance to nap!

4yrs 4 months gap here and it's perfect. At nearly 9 and 4, they're brilliant friends.

I have a five and a bit year gap between DD1 (8) and DD2 (2). I had two MC in between. I wanted a 2 year gap.

It's been brilliant so far. DD1 was at school by the time DD2 was born. They are a proper wee team and adore each other. DD2 does sometimes get frustrated she can't do all the big girl things but on the whole it's easy. Except when DD2 destroys Lego creations!

We do sometimes have to do different activities, but even that works as we get 1-2-1 one time with them both every now and again.

It couldn't have worked better for us. I'm glad we have this gap. It works for us. But I think personality has more to do with how siblings get on than age gap.

Oh and the school run was a breeze. Everything organised the night before. Uniform set out, bags packed, shoes at the door, etc. My clothes ready to pull on. I walked to school with DD2 in a sling. She often fell asleep and I'd come home and have a cup of tea and breakfast while she slept. I'd worried about it for weeks and it turned out just fine.

Mine are exactly 4 years apart. It was great when DS2 was a baby as DS1 loved him, helped out etc etc. Not so good now when DS2 wants to play with DS1 Lego etc and the fight a lot. Generally they get along and days out are ok if DH is there too, but yes could be a problem if not and I can't take the two of them swimming etc as the adult ratio is not good enough.

It's a great age gap!
For starters, you never have to pay two lots of nursery fees and if you time it right you can be on maternity leave when your eldest starts school. Which really helps with the settling in days.

My brother is 5 and a half years older than me. We got on well, other than the usual sibling arguments and me wanting to hang out with him and his friends And cramping his style
When Dh and I have kids we are hoping for approx 5 year age gap. DSS will probably be around 6/7 by the time we have children together.

My two are 5.5 and 1.5. I timed it so I would be on mat leave with DC2 when DC1 was starting school. It helped his transition and allowed me and the new baby to have lots of time together. It's a great age gap. They play together so nicely, and DC1 is very proud of being a great big brother!

We have a 4 yr gap ( almost exactly, 3ys 361 days!) - not through design but how things worked out. Currently ds1 is 4yrs 9mo and ds2 9 mo .So far been much easier than for those with smaller age gaps that we know. No real sibling rivalry yet. Only downsides i am predicting will be the baby/toddler stage int he family lasting much longer (ir hard work) and a stage where ds2 is just way to small for some of the big boy activities...will see how it works out!

4 years 1 month between. DS14 and DD10, it took a little more work to find something they'd both enjoy as they were at different developmental stages but it just took a little more imagination at times, for the most it's been perfectly fine and they've been happy to do the same things. It's probably hardest at the moment but that's more to do with ds's social life and him being a teenager. They really do love each other though and although they bicker a bit it's not too much.

There's 5 years between me and my sister, the biggest thing I remember is I got very lonely at 13 when she went off to university. I absolutely adored her and still idolise her even though we're both around 50, lol, my parents laugh at me but I can't help it, she's fab!

Oh... And from the moment dd was born ds has been brilliant with her, I told him I relied on his help so much, I couldn't do it without him, we bonded over the care of dd. he's still her protector. Practically, I found going from 1-2 much easier than 0-1, school runs were a bit busy and were stressful at times but they were manageable. Ds is a September birthday so I had a full year of him at nursery half days so I'd just get home after dropping him off in time to go back got him, lol.

All in all, I wouldn't change it and iI'd say go for it.

4.5 years here DS now 14 and DD 10 . I tried for 3 yrs for DD so not planned . However the gap has worked well . I think being different genders has helped but they don't fight much and now get on very well . Go for it 😄😜

My age gap is slightly smaller but not by much. Ds is 9 and Dd is 5.5.

They fight a lot now but until Dd was about 4 they were like a mini mutual appreciation society.

Dd is quite boisterous and brave and outgoing whereas ds is more reserved, sensitive and thoughtful.

When we are on days out and on holiday and things they play together well and can do a lot of the same things. They don't like the same tv or films but that's a minor issue. Both like cycling, going to the beach, baking, animals etc.

They're very involved in each other's lives and we definitely feel a family of 4.

Oh it's so lovely to hear all of your experiences, and some of you talking about the difference between you and your own sibling being 4 years apart, it's nice to hear about it later down the line.

Good point about the fact that you could go back and sleep if you wanted too after the school drop off, I love my sleep! A little nap after getting in, when the baby sleeps would be awesome.

Being off for my DS starting school would be lovely I would love to be able to be on maternity and support him during those first few weeks but timing is key!

Oh god this is making me broody, I'm so scared to do it all again, almost wanted you all to say it's awful, don't do it!

I have almost exactly 4 years between me and little sister. And now my daughter (5 next month) has just become a big sister to our new baby. I think it's a good age gap based on my own childhood - signs look okay so far for the next generation too. I think the fact DD(5) has school and other activities really helps us - she gets her own space away from baby where she can be 'grown up', and I also get time to do baby things and bond with the new arrival. A smaller age gap always felt very daunting to me, having watched the struggles of my sister with her two (20 months apart).