It seems I have had a number of issues to say the least with my mother in law since my daughter has been born. My own mum, nothing, she's totally relaxed and laid back. My MIL will retire from her 9 hour a week job to look after my DD for 1 day, she volunteered to do this when I was pregnant and of course I was grateful. Now she is acting so competitive, I feel anyway and to be honest it worries me that she is trying too hard to be uber nan!
She wants to look after DD at her house. She has everything there, a high chair, buggy, cot , toys feeding utensils etc. But now she has bought a boarder for the walls and curtains from mammas and papas to decorate a room which she calls my daughters room. I get the cot bit as they are more sturdy than travel cots, although a travel cot wouldn't be a problem. But a boarder and curtains? she's creating a nursery in effect! She has bikes, scooters (DD is only 7 months) and is spending £100 on a toy box.
The latest thing with her is toys. Of course she has toys at her house so that DD has something to be amused with. But whenever we go round we sit there with no conversation because all they do is play with DD and no one speaks, or they just stare while I'm feeding her or changing her. But the latest thing is that she KEEPS saying 'nannys toys are boring' as my daughter was a bit distant (overwhelmed and tired really) but it's all she kept saying. The next time we saw her it was the same thing, 'nannys toys are boring'. They are just the basic baby toys that most people have! Then when she came to our house she couldn't catch her breath at the amount of toys we have. We had a lot gave to us, bought some second hand and we also have bought new toys as u do. Well all she said was 'nannys toys are boring, no wonder when you've got all this'. She's announced now she will be looking for better toys for at hers, but knowing her she will go completely overboard as she does with everything. She will buy as much as she can. At Christmas she went mad on singing and dancing decorations and I saw how over the top her and fil went so I just know what's in store. It bugs me because my mum doesn't have money to do that, my mum will look after my DD at my house for 1 day, so she hasn't bought all the stuff at hers and she doesn't have a room! When DD grows older she's going to obviously favour her other grandparents because of what they have at their house. I've seen it happen with my friends daughter, where she openly says she likes one nanny better than the other and it's the same situation. She also loves to say to DD 'your a nannys girl aren't you...nannys girl you are' its a constant thing, she ALWAYS says it. Whereas my mum adores my daughter but has never once said she's s grandmas girl, let alone say it every time we see her.
My worry is, she's trying so hard to create a home from home environment and it's only for 1 day, for 6 hours to be exact. My DD is going to love it there as much as her own home and well my poor mum doesn't stand a chance at competing with it all. I've said all of this to my partner and he just does not, won't not, understand. He thinks I'm paranoid, all the rest of it. I know I'm not, my feelings are not completely irrational, I know it. I just hate how it is and wish we lived further away!!!!! I'd of put DD in nursery for that day and paid the cost, but partner wouldn't have it because of what it would look like to his mum.