Oh bum I have just caved in and said that the dog will go to heaven when she dies

[CountessDracula]

She was getting totally hysterical about it following a convo with MIL about what had happened to her dogs (they are dead)

MIL said that they had gone to heaven

So I said "they died darling"

Cue a billion questions on the way home about when our dog would die

So tonight she started again and I said "some people believe that when you die you go to heaven and others don't"

So she wanted to know what other people thought happened so I said that they thought that nothing happened, you just died and that was it.

Then she started crying a lot and saying that if she didn't go to heaven that she wouldn't be able to take her animals (cuddly toys) especially as she didn't have enough hands to carry them all.

So I said "well you could take a bag to heaven with them all in" at which point she cheered up and said how lovely heaven would be and that maybe she and her best friend could die together and go to heaven together (she is just 4 ffs)

argh

I can't deal with this! I don't believe in any of it. What do I do? Just go along with it? Or upset and traumatise a 4yo by telling the truth (or my version of it)

She probably won't remember this version of it as she is young, and maybe you could adapt it slightly over the years to your version as she gets older.

I told her that she could decide for herself which version she believed

For now, while she is still so little, I'd go along with what she obviously feels most comfortable believing.

There will be plenty of other opportunities to discuss what different people believe as she gets older.

At this point I wouldn't want my 4 year old to be worrying about death and if believing she will go somewhere nice with all her toys and friends gives her comfort, I wouldn't take it away.

be a hypocrite, or find yourself some kind of spirituality love.

it doesn't have to be a man with a beard you know! your dd would have been equally as assuaged by the concept that the dog is part of the everything that we all are and that therefore of course death isn't the end.

if you really really believe that death equals nothing, then you are going to have to be a hypocrite, or else grit your teeth for her tears, and prepare yourself for bigtime religious phase for dd as it will be her best way of rebelling against you!

Oh yes, it's time to start all conversations about heaven/hell/religion etc. with those immortal words "some people believe...".

ds1 is heavily into religion and the bible in particular at the moment. Lots of talk about heaven and dying (with him it's the cats he's worried about), so lots of "some people believe" because although his primary school is technically non denomintional, they don't half teach them a lot of bible stories!

I don't beleive in it either but I allowed my dd1 (6 ) to beleive that is where grampa went and that in heaven you can do whatevert you want and you have everything you want. It made her happy to think he would be watching rugby and tom and jerry and having tea, she was comforted and I think she will develop her own ideas about it as she gets older. Felt it was more important for her to feel comforted now