Sweets at school

[tryhard]

DS1 is in Reception, at the moment it seems there's a birthday every week (it's a big class), whole class parties every weekend which are an absolute sugar-fest, which I accept as a inevitable and fine as a treat. However, most parents also bring sweets for their kids to give out in class on their actual birthday, so this means most weeks, DS is coming out of classroom sucking on a lolly or scoffing chocolate the going to a party at the weekend. I was quite surprised the first time this happened cos the school didn't ask parents if this was ok, they just did it. DS2 then goes mad in pram because he hasn't got any sweets and Awhile that's irritating, I can handle the tantrums but I'm getting really concerned about DS1s teeth. We brush really carefully but the fact is he's having far more sugar than I'd like at the moment because of the parties and treats given out in class. I was never, ever allowed treats as a kid so I don't want to exclude him by asking teachers not to give him any (I was left out like this at school and while I have no fillings at all I also have no control over treats cos it very quickly turned into forbidden fruit!) But how do I handle it? Esp in situations out of my control where he's coming out of classroom at pick up time already eating it!

class of what 30 and so sweets once a week? A party at the weekend, sometimes ( surely not everyone invites everyone?).

THink about it, if you aren't giving him sweets as well he's having them 1 day after school ( out of 5( and at one weekend meal... sometimes).

I think you are being PFB . There is plenty of other days to munch and apple. Take a snack for DS 2 and jobs done ( or make DS keep them to eat at hom,e when DS 2 is in bed... I favour the gobble the whole mini harbo packet in one go and clean your teeth method)

It's good to get some perspective - I know I'm not objective, I'm not exaggerating when I say I wasn't given processed sugar until 8ish so it's no wonder I'm a bit at sea with this. But equally in this day & age surely schools should be more clued up on giving sugar out like this? Sugar is serious problem for our kids.

Agree sugar is a problem, but it is constant sugared squash, breakfast cereal pop and even the sugar in tomato soup.

No a healthy diet of mainly home cooked food and water to drink, with even a daily bag of about 6 mini haribo.

I won't comment on the daily expectation of a sweet pudding at school dinner though.

Tell the class teacher that you don't want your child to have any more birthday sweets and turn down any party invites. That way you can control what your children eat.

You don't have the right to dictate to other families about how their children want to celebrate their birthday with their friends.

So tired of these miserable threads.

I don't think the odd bag of sweets is a problem, sorry OP. If you don't give him sweets at all, and he is getting say a bag a week, assuming a little haribo or the like, i would be happy for ds to have that.

Lighten up OP

Wow - the supportive sisterhood of mumsnet strikes again! I'm not commenting the choices of other parents, what I'm asking for advice on how I can handle it as a parent. And no, it doesn't have to be so extreme as to ask the teacher to exclude my DS & stop him going to parties, I've already made that clear by explaining that that was done to me as a child (the no sweets at school thing) & I acknowledge this isn't how it should be handled. I've had an eating disorder most of my adult life, I fully acknowledge I have no sense of perspective on food given as treats, and that's why I posted, I was looking for was advice from others on how they handle this, not to be attacked as being miserable.

OK. Can I suggest you keep a note for a couple of weeks how often he comes out of school with sweets? I bet it's not as often as you think. If it's once a week, then surely that's fine- a lot of people have a "sweetie day". Parties- I think you're on a hiding to nothing there. Parties mean sweet things! But again, I bet it's not as often as you think. And you can clean his teeth as soon as you get home.

Sorry if you felt thats how my post read tryhard, not my intention.

I'm obvioulsy not aware of what he eats in a normal day, but my ds (6yrs) will have porridge and banana for breakfast, school lunch - he has fruit or yogurt for pud, a sandwich or houmous when he is home from school, then dinner as a family - usually home cooked and lots of veg.....so pretty healthy. So in my eyes, if he has a mini bag of haribo once a week, this is reasonable within his normal diet.

If he were having chocolate cereal for breakfast, lots sugar for lunch and dinner, then it wouldn't be ok.

I think because you give a generally healthy diet, the sugar won't hurt him on these odd occasions.

How you can handle this....hmmm, well i think I would do a bit of perception work for you both. So a few pictures of foods and drinks and then you both sit down and put them into everyday foods, a few times a week foods, once a week foods and not very often foods. So you can help him make choices when he is at a party. Difficult as you don't want him to develop hang ups about food.

Wound the school say sweets are ok, but they go in their bags til the end of the day and they have to ask their parents if they can eat them?

We've always allowed ds to have sweets and chocolate when he wants it and have found he rarely opts to eat it.

I hope you've received some support with eating disorder? I have no experience so I can't comment other than a big hug.