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3 yr old wont poo on toilet/potty any tips??

6 replies

yummyummy · 31/12/2006 20:26

been potty trained for one year now, but still waits for his dinner time nap or nighttime to go for a poo.......

please post tips and ideas..how can i help to get my friend's DS to poo on the loo??!!!
tia x

OP posts:
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mrspoppins · 01/01/2007 12:32

Hi and Happy new year!

You don't say if he is totally dry or only in the daytime or his age so I'll give you a rough idea what I have done as a Nanny for a long time now.

I'm figuring that if totally dry and no longer in nappies or pull ups then this wouldn't be an issue and so I'll answer as if he is wearing a nappy for sleeps.

If his nappy is often dry after naps and sleep, taking away the poo issue then stop wearing them altogether.If he has been dry for a year in the daytime, then he should manage nightimes well.It may take a week or so but he'll be able to do it.

Pull ups for some children are not a great idea as they still psychologically think of them as a nappy and so don't try to be dry.

Have a special chart...a sticker for each poo in the toilet... Take images of his favourite character from TV or book off the computer and spend time with him making his own little chart...sticking all the characters on a piece of paper. If you have a laminator, then laminate it so it is reusable..if not, use as it is. Stick it to the toliet wall or door etc...and buy or make some fab stickers to have if he poos successfully.

If he has that regular time that you have mentioned, you are lucky! Sit him on the toilet at those times for a few minutes to try. If he doesn't manage, fine but watch him like a hawk and if he starts to poo in his nappy, whisk it off and back on the loo.

Empty all poos into the loo with him and let him flush it away.Don't show any disgust at this...it is just a poo and that is where it belongs is the message you want him to learn.

Above all it is being patient and consistant that works. Deviate from your routine even just once and he will seize on that and you will need to start all over again.

Last thought...make sure the loo is comfy and a nice place to be. Buy a soft toilet seat rather than the hard thin plastic ones or buy a toilet seat that has the mini seat incorporated in it too. My friend has that and it is terrific.

Keep his diet good and make sure he has plenty of fluids. Don't panic too much if he doesn't open his bowels for a couple of days but naturally keep an eye on the situation. With a balanced diet and lots to drink, it'll be hard for him to become too constipated.

Lots of luck !!

xxKaren

princessJINGLEmelS · 01/01/2007 12:42

Hi My friend had this with her dd. She would only poo in her nappy. If she needed to go in the day she would ask for a nappy and do one in there whilst hiding!!- wherever she was, including in tescos.

She tried sticker charts, bribing with treats like telly and sweets etc but nothing worked as her dd knew she'd get a nappy out in the end.

In the end I suggested to my friend to say that they simply didn't have any nappies left. Only ones for night. She was worried that she'd 'save' up her poos and do them at night but she didn't, or worse that she'd get constipated. It took a day of withholding poos and a few tears from both of them but in the end nature forced her dd to go and she did it on the loo and has done ever since. They even had a little celebration party!!!

So anyway, I think I'm saying you need to just go for it with the stopping nappies. Unless he's not dry at night....

Also read stories to him on the potty. You can buy ones about potty training that really help. Or just any fave books. Something to take his mind off worrying about it.

WigWamBam · 01/01/2007 12:45

It took my dd 15 months to poo in the toilet after she was dry and out of nappies during the day - she was almost 4 before she cracked it. She used to get hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet, and she would only poo in a nappy, in one particular place (not the toilet, unfortunately!), and at one particular time of day. My advice would be not to do anything at the moment - just let him become comfortable with the idea of using the potty/toilet for a poo in his own time.

If his parents would feel happy letting him have a nappy for a poo (we did, and it didn't confuse dd - it actually made her more relaxed about things) then I'd say let him know that he can always ask for a nappy for a poo if he wants one. It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that he is ready to wee in the potty doesn't automatically mean that he's ready to poo in the potty.

Regardless of whether he's physically ready, if he isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it. It only leads to stress for his parents and for him - and the more stressful things get, the less likely he is to want to use the potty. We tried bribery (the chocolate stayed in the jar until it went past its sell-by date), star-charts (she enjoyed making it, but it made not a blind bit of difference) and everything else you can name - nothing worked because she simply was not ready emotionally. In the end it was nicer for all of us to do things on her terms until she felt ready to try. If you make an issue out of it, it will become one.

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princessJINGLEmelS · 01/01/2007 12:49

I totally agree Wigwambam, but I was just saying that my friend was desp to stop the pooing in nappies as they were costing her a fortune and she's about to have her second and didn't want to have to buy 2 lots of nappies. Especially when they were only on her dd for a few mins.

She had let her poo in her nappy for about a year before stopping it.

My dh just looked at this and said 'Why are you always on mumsnet and why are you typing about pooing?'!!!!

WigWamBam · 01/01/2007 12:52

I wasn't commenting on your post, mine crossed with yours

princessJINGLEmelS · 01/01/2007 12:54

Ok , don't mind if you were anyway.

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