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Parenting

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Original poster

How much freedom do you give your children to do their own cooking?

29 replies

Eulalia · 31/12/2006 13:47

dd is 4.8 and really wants to do her own thing and doesn't like me helping her. She's a bit fussy about food and one of the few things she eats is scrambled eggs made in the microwave. It would be wouldn't it - one of hte most fiddly things of all. Today she faffs around cracking the egg into a bowl, getting lots of bits of egg into the bowl which I have to fish out, somehow manages to get some on her sleeve. Won't let me put it in the microwave so has to drag a stool across to reach. It cooks and she takes the thing out and drops it all over the floor at which point I lost it, shouted and stormed out of hte room.

I have ds1 (age 7) also to watch over as he has autism and ds2 who is 17 months as well and i feel I just don't have time/patience to help her out but feel bad that I am not giving her more but maybe she is still too young? dh never seems to be around for one reason or the other (currently out buying rods to unblock our drains!)

Do you let your kids cook their own food and if so what and how old are they?

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colditz · 31/12/2006 13:50

4.8 is too young IMO, you haven't got all day. tell her she can do it when she is 7.

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree · 31/12/2006 13:55

One of the things I've always told my two is that it's not their age which matters when they are allowed to do something, it's when they are 'ready' to do it (this is a particularly useful argument with a younger child who wants to do stuff the older one was allowed)
I'd tell your DD that as she dropped the stuff, she's obviously not 'ready' to do it on her own & you'll have to do it for a bit & she can try again when she's a bit older (which can be at a time that suits you)
I wouldn't have let DD cook by herself at this age - I might have let DS, but he showed no interest then.

juuule · 31/12/2006 14:01

Personally, I think a child is 'ready' when it shows an interest in doing something. Obviously they are not going to get it right first time.
Obviously if something is hot, I'd explain that and help to get it out of the microwave with her.
Try to make time when you know it's something she wants to do. If you don't have the time explain and say that you will do it with her later/tomorrow when you have more time.

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colditz · 31/12/2006 14:18

Or, you could make it a condition that if she does it, you have to do certin bits, nd she can do others. thaat way, you can do the hot or dangerous stuff for her.

If she doesn't want to do it that way, she doesn't do it at all.

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree · 31/12/2006 14:20

They may be 'ready' to try something with help when they show interest, juuule but Eulalia's DD wanted to do it all by herself.

WideWebWitch · 31/12/2006 14:26

Ds showed no interest at that age but a friend's dd did and was perfectly capable of doing that kind of thing herself at that age. Can you teach her to do it properly so you don't have a load of mess to clear up? So I'd let her I think. I think scrambled eggs in the microwave is ideal for a child to cook but it take practice, cracking eggs! Dd is showing signs of wanting to do EVERYTHING herself and hating me helping so I fully expect she'll be wanting to do this sort of thing by herself at some point and prob quite early like your dd.

Also,I would show her how to use oven gloves and explain about how hot eggs can be.

juuule · 31/12/2006 14:51

You can still help them even if they want to do it all their self. Just keep the help to what's necessary. Surely Eulalia's dd didn't insist on her mum being out of the room.

twoplusone · 31/12/2006 15:13

My DD is ten and only allowed to do her own cereal make sandwiches and toast.

I have just startef to let her make a cup of tea ....

She is a very mature ten she would be capable of doing more but I dont want her to. There is plenty of time imo for her to do it herself later..

Personally I wouldnt let a 4.5 yr old use a microwave, I think dd was 7 or 8 when I started to let her use ours, and that was only to warm a bottle of milk for ds for 15secs...

As someone said alot is to do with the maturity of the child and with what you feel comfortable with letting them do..

fullmoonfiend · 31/12/2006 15:16

ds just turned 9 and helps me chop stuff, roll stuff grate stuff etc regularly. He makes a great cuppa too though I didn't teach him, he just made me one one day and does it all the time now. I do worry about him and boiling water thogu.
ds2 is 6 and has been weighing out stuff, breaking and beating eggs etc for 2 years. If they can, they should IMO.

charliecat · 31/12/2006 15:17

DD1 - 9 makes breakfast cereal and toast, or sandwiches wouldnt let her near a kettle, not worth the risk of her scorching herself.
DD2 -6 makes cereal.
They both know how to get the microwave to work for 50 seconds for thier hot wheat bags.
When we are making cakes they do the cracking and whisking, I do the getting out the shell bits that have fell in and I do the putting in the oven.

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 31/12/2006 15:21

I think the problem here is not that she is not capable but more that she sounds like a little miss independent who doesn't want eulalia to show her and gradually let her do more. DD is 2 1/2 and wants to put her own milk in the microwave and press the buttons. She can't even press hard enough!

I think she is old enough, but also old enough to be reasoned with and told it is a learning process and she can learn it a bit at a time.

juuule · 31/12/2006 15:23

When mine couldn't press the buttons hard enough I put my finger on top of theirs and pressed with them. They seemed happy with that.

wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons · 31/12/2006 15:36

Yes I do that. But she is 2 and it has to be done a certain way etc etc so it can get tedious.

crunchie · 31/12/2006 15:37

well my 7 year old cooks and can make scrambled eggs in the microwave without me if necessary, she also makes my tea. My 5 year old could make cereal at 3 and toast by 5, in fact she often makes her own sandwiches for her lunchbox (when she is excited about school trips!!)

So IMHO let her do it

andaSOAPBOXinapeartree · 31/12/2006 16:27

MIne have been chopping with sharp knives since 4yo and are very good at it

DD 8 has been making tea and coffee since she turned 7yo, and has only just finished making fairy cakes entirely on her own without any help whatsoever.

Ds 6, can make scrambled eggs, toast, sandwiches, baked potatoes etc quite safely, but has not yet made hot drinks or baked on his own.

I think it is good to encourage them, but have always been very strict about not letting them do things that were dangerous too young.

In the situation you were in today, I would have told her you were putting the scrambled eggs in teh microwave, and if she protested would have cleared everything away and stopped the whole exercise. It is good to give them their heads sometimes, but they must realise that it is you that sets teh boundaries and when it comes to matters of safety then there is no negotiation at all!

Original poster

Eulalia · 31/12/2006 19:25

Thanks for the responses. I don't want to curb her enthusiasm and I am glad that she is interested. I think doing it when we have time is a better idea - its just been harder just now with the holidays. The older two love helping with baking but it often ends up in terrible rows. I can sometimes engineer it so that they both have separate jobs in different bowls (ds1 finds sharing a difficult concept due to his condition) and that works well.

dd is advanced though. She is quite careful though. Apparently when I was in hospital having ds2 she would often go and prepare diluting juice for herself and ds1 and carry it carefully to him. She was 3.4 then.

I am sure a lot of it is letting them make a few mistakes but watch them in the background.

Also agree its not due to age but ability/enthusiasm etc. Interesting to see the different ages in the responses here.

OP posts:

flack · 31/12/2006 19:42

Think I am the only one who will say that I WOULD let her make her own scrambled egg in microwave. But I'd insist on her cleaning up any mess, and I'd have to be present/supervising most of the time, initially. And it really wouldn't kill her to eat a few bits of eggshell. Anyway, let her do it and the novelty will wear off fast.

We make it by putting the raw egg in a short glass (not a bowl). Cook in the glass. The hardest part would be cracking the egg w/out making a mess on the counter. Rest a dawdle.

I have a moody 7yo, moodier DH + a rampaging 2yo, so don't think I'm insensitive to what it's like having other things to worry about. Just think it's great if they are more self-sufficient and involved with their own care (getting their own food).

CantWaitForTheSnow · 31/12/2006 20:01

Last year I was suprised to have a child in my class who knew how to make pancakes and omlets. When I mentioned this to his parents they explained how at home he makes a full cooked breakfast on his own every Saturday, and could also bake cakes. He was 8 years old!

frogs · 31/12/2006 20:21

Wouldn't let them make food for themselves -- we eat together at the table, and they eat what's on offer or go hungry. Letting them cook their own meals would give them carte blanche to start refusing what was put in front of them, and I'm not going to go down that route.

Cooking food for all of us, on the other hand, is greatly to be encouraged. Ds (7) can make a competent salad or fruit salad with minimal supervision. Dd1 (11) can cook pasta bolognese, fried or scrambled eggs, porridge, and can do roast chicken as well, though I wouldn't let her take it out of the oven herself, or make the gravy.

Dd1 started bringing us cups of tea in bed when she was about 8, which is a fantastic service.

frogs · 31/12/2006 20:22

Oh yes, both ds and dd1 can make muesli bars, and put together their own packed lunches. Bring it on.

christie1 · 31/12/2006 20:35

I think there are things you could teach her to do as she is interested. Pour her own drinks, pour her own cereal. My ds is 6 and makes his own toast, cereal. Make a simple sandwich. My other children are 8 and 9 and I let htem make their own drinks, toast, cereal, sandwiches. I taught the 9 year old to use the microwave but only for heating up and with caution. No stoves yet but I let the 9 year old stir pots of things as long as I am in the kitchen. Do you bake, I often get my 2 and 5 year old to bake cookies iwth me and give them their own bowel and they add stuff and mix and stir while I make the real cookies in the big bowel.

crayon · 31/12/2006 22:23

I have to be in the right frame of mind to cook with ours (5, 3 and 4 months). We do lots of cake and things, but they tend to tell me what I have the right weight of ingrediants in, a bit of stirring, rolling things in biscuit crumbs, crushing biscuits by standing on a bag etc. I would only attempt anything more complex with DH around and 2 children with him so that it is a relaxing experience.

Jelley · 31/12/2006 22:33

Mine (6&7)chop peel and prepare with me, and we bake together. DD1 (7) can make porridge in the microwave, and tea under supervision.
I'd get a tiny plastic saucepan for the microwave to reduce burning/dropping risk, and let her do it. I'd hate to squash the enthusiasm.

DetentionGrrrl · 01/01/2007 20:44

I agree with Juule. I was shown how to poach/fry eggs, make tea and toast etc when i was quite young as i was interested. It's stayed with me, and i still love cooking.

My little brother (10yrs) stayed with me for a few days and was dying to cook. He was chopping and stirring for me, and i i did the 'dangerous' bits as he's inexperienced.

It's understandable not having the time if you're busy- perhaps look for a recipe that just means stirring...rice crispie cakes for example is very simple?

mamijacacalys · 02/01/2007 19:43

My 4 yo DS does scrambled eggs and porridge in the microwave under my supervision (no touching plastic bowl when hot etc) and we also bake a lot (though I am quite relaxed about general mess and splatters).

Agree with other comments re letting them do things when they are ready etc

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