is it just my children....

[AmyB1986]

Who constantly ask for something to eat?
They are 6 & 8 and I get asked 'can I have something to eat?' Every half an hour!
I'll do them breakfast, healthy porridge or cereals and maybe some fruit if they fancy it. Lunch sandwiches with salad like tomatoes and cucumber and a packet of crisps occasionally and they have yogurt or fruits for afters. They have a cooked meal every evening but still they ask straight after eating for more!
Anyone would think I'm not feeding them.
My youngest favourite is 'I'm starving! I haven't eaten anything all day!' She says it all the time, if anyone overheard her they'd think poor kid with a cruel mother!

Please tell me I'm not alone...

I agree with Bacony. I think this is a combination of boredom/habit (just keep offering boring plain food) and that you're just not giving them enough calories.

The food you describe is great for an adult who is a healthy weight and size and watching what they eat to maintain that.

Children need more calories than you are describing. They are growing (huuuuuge amount of calories required to just sit in a chair and do nothing), and are active too. I'm not suggesting you feed them crap; I'm suggesting that you feed them foods like avocados, chickpeas (falafel, hummus), nut spreads (I see you mention a peanut allergy, are other nuts ok?), whole wheat seeded bagels, proper butter on their bread, corn-rich foods, fibre rich foods, coconut milk soups etc. Also, let them decide how much they eat. Your portions may be too small for them. Barring any abnormalities (which it sounds like your kids don't have), they will self regulate. The fact they are BOTH saying they are hungry suggests to me the issue is with supply, not demand.

Another tactic is to make sure that whatever you give at mealtimes is healthy (sounds like no problem there), and allow them to eat as much as they want at mealtimes. Then when they come looking for a snack say "sorry, you have to wait until [next meal] time, you should have had more at the table just now", and mean it and stick with it.

Finally, make sure they are not bolting their food. They should chew properly and eat not too fast so they get a chance to see if they really are full before they get down from the table.

I TOTALLY sympathies with not having time to do other stuff if they're constantly eating. In our house (I know it's MN sacrilege), no snacks allowed between meals apart from "teatime" (4/4.30, lunch being at 1pm and dinner at 6.30), when something small (sweet, savory, I really don't mind what) is allowed. Life is too short. As children nutrition shouldn't be a leisure activity. That's the sole preserve of food critics and weary adults

Based on one meal one day you're assumptions are that I'm not feeding them enough calorie wise?

Everything is full fat, I'm aware calories are important and don't restrict anything they eat by any means. Portion size isn't the problem, sometime they do leave some of their food and that particular lunch time with the infamous not filling cheese sandwich they did leave part of it as well. The cheese sandwich wasn't small by any means either. It had 4 slices of full fat Red Leicester cheese in it, full fat butter proper butter not a spread, 2 thick slices whole grain rounds of bread. I added on the raw veg they like too and they both had a yogurt again full fat and a banana for afters.

Your suggestions are great, I've tried different varieties of food obviously as you do but again they're not food my children like or would eat. To be honest I don't like those foods either.

They are both very active all the time and are fed to meet their needs. From being babies I always worried if they were getting enough calorie wise as a lot of mothers do.

The bread hasn't established their boredom we have, myself and DH. I know my children, they like eating sometimes verging on the edge of being greedy.
The nuts I'm unsure if my eldest is allergic to other nuts, her peanut allergy made an appearance the second time she had anything with peanuts in so I'm wary obviously just in case it's not just those nut.

Bacony I feel for your daughter, teen years are difficult enough as it is with out extra worries. I was always really slim but have filled out a little now.

Over the holidays both of my daughters have had two cooked meals at least per day, lunch and dinner time mainly. Yesterday they had fish fingers, scrambled egg, beans, bacon and a round of wholegrain toast each. They still had a snack before dinner time. I don't mind what they eat as long as it hasn't got loads of sugar (they do have sweets in not cruel) and offer fairly bland foods or fruit as a snack.

The majority of the replies have made me feel awful for feeding a cheese sandwich to my daughters on one day! Anyone would think I was giving them McDonald's all week, full of fat and salt like some people do with their children!

Fruit is a completely empty carb and unsuitable as a snack; it will do nothing to quell hunger in between meals. Even as an adult, fruit does nothing for me and leaves me hungrier than I was before I ate it. You should be giving them protein. Why are you not listening? They are hungry, and that's why they're asking for food between meals.

The diet you are feeding them seems to be the sort of diet a misguided adult would eat if they were trying to be healthy. As for your "at least I'm not giving them fat" statement, do you not understand that children's brains need fat?

Xena that was a statement about McDonald's being full of refined fats and salts.

Can you not see my children are eating plenty of the right foods including protein?! Dairy products such as cheese are proteins are they not? And also full of calcium for teeth and bones. Fruit and veg are also essential parts of a child's diet but that is not all they eat. You're not listening to me either.

And you're being offensive calling me 'misguided'. I eat fruits and veg and fats like anyone else and so do my children.
Your opinions are yours and mine are mine. You don't live with my children, you have a small snippet of what they eat because I've typed it into this thread. It is not a total picture of everything they eat and therefore not enough to judge quantity calorie or otherwise.

Do you not understand the importance of eating fruit and veg for vitamins such as vitamin c? Cereals are fortified with iron, folic acid etc and they have milk again which is a protein and full of calcium and fats.

Protein is not the most needed part of a child's diet, it should be varied and include all of the food category's for other things not just the feeling of being full.

I am going to carry on with their meals I've been cooking which include a mixture of everything as well as giving them things they enjoy like fruit.

They're both back at school today and having a hot meal at lunch time, I can't say what is in these meals but they're balanced and all low sugar content for the deserts but I know they'll be hungry when they come home at 3.30.

Of course I understand the importance of fruit and vegetables, what a ridiculous question.

What I'm saying is that fruit does not cut it as an inbetween-meal snack when your children are hungry. And that's why they keep asking for more food after you give it to them for a snack - because all they've been given is fruit and they are still hungry.

Protein is not the most needed part of a child's diet, it should be varied and include all of the food category's for other things not just the feeling of being full.

Well yes, but the problem you presented us with was that your children kept asking for food an hour after they'd eaten, therefore, they are not full, and you should give them more protein, because lack of fullness is obviously their problem, isn't it? It really is not rocket science. But you just stubbornly keep on doing what you're doing and see how well that turns out

Yes xena they do ask for food after eating, maybe two hours after. My original question was, is it just my children who ask so much?

It isn't a question of fullness of lack of food that was my concern, it simply was is this normal.

Too much protein in a child's diet can also cause serious health problems such as dehydration, poor kidney function and zap calcium reserves in their little bodies. A maximum amount of protein for a child between 4 and 8 is around 150g or 5ounces. So if I gave them 1 boiled egg a large one around 100g that would be sufficient and some baked beans perhaps with their main meal that would meet their daily quota.

I'm not being stubborn, I'm telling you what I know by my experience with my children and living with them.

Experiment I did yesterday. Snack asked for, cracker plain and dry offered and refused! Habit, want, craving, boredom. If they were hungry they would have taken it surely.

Of course they will be hungry at 3.30. Most children have an "after school snack" don't they? On my it seems many take the food to school. We only eat sitting down so they get a snack when we get in.

Yet you sound frustrated that they want to eat...? Do you have some issues with food yourself (I do and have hence making a real effort with the kids!)

I wouldn't have taken or offered a dry cracker. I'd have offered a cracker with cheese or oatcake with peanut butter. Who eats a dry cracker on its own?

Tea I'm frustrated because it isn't the food that is the issue, it's some replies saying I'm not giving them enough protein when I am.

After the cracker they didn't ask for anything else. Someone suggested it here, bland food so I tried it and they didn't want it. I know they'd eaten well so their refusal didn't worry me.
Both DD's used to eat dry crackers at preschool by choice.

Everyone's taste is different, I like dry garlic crackers but that's just me.

No issue with food here, I love food a bit too much maybe my children take after me in that way. DH however can take it or leave it.

Yes they always have a snack after school. That's the norm but after a school dinner they're ravenous so wonder what is actually in the food to keep them going in the afternoons.

No my dd has a complete lack of interest in food, she picks at her meals and doesn't snack and my others are the same (now adults) They are of the "eat to live" rather than "live to eat" variety.
It's somewhat disheartening when you like to cook and bake and it is mostly unappreciated tbh.

If I was you, I would steal myself for it to get worse, not better.

My dcs were like this and now at 13 and 11yo, they are both eating more than me. Now the 13yo I can understand. He is as tall as me now. But the 11yo is slightly small fur his age .

Now they are both lean, esp dc2. But dc1 has had periods when he got 'bigger' because he basically ate too much, and too much junk.
My only answer to that has been 'here is the fruit bowl'. Again and again and again.
Any request bar something else, out of the mid afternoon snack, is met with a no (it helps if there is nothing else in the house. No crisps and snacks or sweets or even very few biscuits).
It seems to have worked quite well for us.

Btw I totally agree with you that food can become a crutch for boredom and anxiety etc...
We know that for adults. I found d with dc1 that it is true with children too.

So YY to being careful that they don't develop that sort of pattern.
That's also why I direct them towards the fruit bowl. if they aren't hungry, they won't eat something that is just half appealing.
So if your dcs are ok with crackers, dry or not, then it can be a good alternative.
I have found d though, that when dc1 was eating too much (anxiety related) he was craving sweets (no surprise there) and carbs so would have been quite happy with bread/crackers etc.... to satisfy his craving.

*Yes xena they do ask for food after eating, maybe two hours after. My original question was, is it just my children who ask so much?

It isn't a question of fullness of lack of food that was my concern, it simply was is this normal.*

Right, so it either hasnt occurred to you or you refuse to accept that they are asking for food two hours after eating because what they are eating isn't keeping them full for long enough in the first place? Do you really not understand this?! Two hours after eating, they are hungry again.

OK then, no, it isn't normal, and frankly you sound like you have issues with food.

xena I'm sorry but children don't ask for food just because they are hungry. They ask fit food when they are bored, when they know there is something nice in the cupboard etc etc
It isn't always a sign that these children are hungry-starving.

Ime, when they are REALLY hungry, they eat whatever there is in front of them, incl crackers, fruits etc. Not just biscuits or snack food.

Presumably they are not munching every thirty minutes while at school so, yes, I'd say it's boredom and get strict about it. My daughter also does this when she doesn't want to do her homework or when she wants attention. I always fed her because I didn't want to deny a hungry child food and made a rod for my own back

Sorry this is nuts..... you can't specify exactly what advice you want, cherry pick etc. People are trying to help....
There may be more than one answer. Just maybe :/
I have three sons, they eat a loaf a day and six pints of milk on top of three dinners and numerous snacks. Tis life for some people....

Eating is definitely a diversionary tactic for some kids: be it from toddlerhood (don't want to sleep, so ask for food to stay up a few extra minutes as mum won't deny me food), or teenagehood (eg as an emotional crutch for the issues teenagers experience). It may not be as simple as "I want food because I'm hungry".

But the thing to do is to get to the root of the problem. I believe OP when she says she knows her kids and thinks it's boredom. It not unlikely. And, well, she is their parent and will know them best. But the only way to establish this is by offering something less appealing than whatever else they can be doing (eg eating a plain cracker might be more boring than going to read a book). Alternatively, see how long they go without asking for food when they're mentally fully occupied: true hunger would take them away from whatever exciting thing they're doing, else they'd just wait.

I think it's a question of testing each thing one at a time, giving each thing some time and being consistent across the DCs and over time. Just like kids need to be taught how to sleep, behave, learn etc they need to be taught how to feed themselves. It starts with the actual eating and will later include shopping for and preparing food. But good habits have to be taught.

wanna my experience is that it's how you describe when they reach late childhood/teenagehood.

But the OP's dcs are only 6 and 8yo. Much too young to eat that much ime.

Actually in an interesting way, I found that my dcs have eaten less and less snacks between meals as they grew up.

At the op's DC age, there is no way they would have gone wo a snack in the afternoon. Esp dc1. Or they wouldn't have been able to have a late lunch.

They are coping much better now (I think it's something to do with the liver maturing as they get older)

Thank you for your replies. I totally agree I have to put my foot down and tell them they have to wait, prime example was the cracker. After they didn't ask again and were occupied playing board games and reading until their next meal.

I said before I'm going to push on and get strict. I've been making things such as cookies and savoury snacks as well as preparing fruit.

To me it is obvious as they are my children.

Xena bully tactics won't work with me. I don't feel guilt because you're telling me I need to listen. I myself am not a child, an adult and a parent. Perhaps your children are happy with their meals and no fruit etc if indeed you do have children but all children are different as you can see by the varied replies received on the thread.

The root cause for my kids is definitely boredom and partly me allowing the snacking, making a rod for my own back so to speak. I want them to make healthy, varied choices as an adult and to be able to eat what they want with in reason. Teaching this from an early age should hopefully stick with them as they get older.

After years of being greeting with a chorus of 'I'm hungry' each and every time she walked through the door my mother decided that it really meant 'I love you' a la Princess Bride.